Dear Football Gods,

[SuperElf]

Dear Football Gods,

First of all, let me express my gratitude. Your divine favor in 2005 in Istanbul was the greatest moment in my life as a football fan. You have shined your light on my favorite club numerous times throughout the years - the waning minutes of the 2001 FA Cup Final, the amazing local talent you've drawn to Melwood and cultivated to greatness, the late penalty to win in the first Liverpool game I ever saw in person . . . I could go on, but wish to spare your valuble time and get to my point:

What the f*ck? What have I done to you to deserve this sort of heart-stomping every year? It's one thing to slog around for decades in mid-table mediocrity, with occasional top-five finishes to show for your efforts - I'm looking at you, Spurs Fan. It's another to give me supreme hope every year, cruelly snatch it away before the leaves change, then leave me stringing along for the next 6 months, always just close enough in the table that we're not QUITE out of it, but not close enough to actually be in the fight.

Why must you also play with my heartstrings in each and every match? It seems that every LFC game plays out like my most frustrating matches from Championship Manager 00/01 - we get 15-20 shots, hit three or four posts, our opponents get one shot, and it goes in. Generally, a 30 yard FK. Or a lazy cross where our keeper decides it's so little of a threat that he can lay down in the goal mouth for a minute and have a quick nap.

What's that, football gods? Buy a better striker, you say? How about a proven, seasoned, twenty-goal-a-year veteran from Spain with stature in the box, and poise in front of goal? No dice? Or a lightning-fast French lad who sets Ligue 1 on fire at the start of his career with his pace and power? Still nothing? OK. How about we bring back one of the greatest goal scorers in the history of our club. He's not quite past his sell date yet, has proven himself at this very club, and should bring excellent karma from you, Football Gods. Oh. Erm, well, how about a young Dutch lad? The Eredivisie has produced a number of talents, and we could buy one of their brightest young stars. NO, Football Gods, his name is NOT Posty McPostalot. What the hell? Has Anfield simply become the place that you send good strikers to die? (Notwithstanding Houllier's tactics, mind you.)

Don't get me wrong, Football Gods. Again, I'm very thankful for your generous contributions to our efforts in cup competitions in the last decade. And I don't want you to resolve my expectations problem by damning my club to the Underworld - *ahem, Leeds*. But is it too much to ask that I NOT feel like I've been socked in the kidney after 80% of the matches I watch? Or is it too much to ask that this club, who hasn't offended Your Holiness by tarnishing the game with dirty mafia money, or selling out to corporate interests, or routinely fielding starting lineups with no Englishmen, win just ONE Premier League title before I kick the bucket?

Your very, very disheartened worshipper,
Elf
(not feeling very super today)

[liverbird]

Dear Football Gods,

First of all, let me express my gratitude. Your divine favor in 2005 in Istanbul was the greatest moment in my life as a football fan. You have shined your light on my favorite club numerous times throughout the years - the waning minutes of the 2001 FA Cup Final, the amazing local talent you've drawn to Melwood and cultivated to greatness, the late penalty to win in the first Liverpool game I ever saw in person . . . I could go on, but wish to spare your valuble time and get to my point:

What the f*ck? What have I done to you to deserve this sort of heart-stomping every year? It's one thing to slog around for decades in mid-table mediocrity, with occasional top-five finishes to show for your efforts - I'm looking at you, Spurs Fan. It's another to give me supreme hope every year, cruelly snatch it away before the leaves change, then leave me stringing along for the next 6 months, always just close enough in the table that we're not QUITE out of it, but not close enough to actually be in the fight.

Why must you also play with my heartstrings in each and every match? It seems that every LFC game plays out like my most frustrating matches from Championship Manager 00/01 - we get 15-20 shots, hit three or four posts, our opponents get one shot, and it goes in. Generally, a 30 yard FK. Or a lazy cross where our keeper decides it's so little of a threat that he can lay down in the goal mouth for a minute and have a quick nap.

What's that, football gods? Buy a better striker, you say? How about a proven, seasoned, twenty-goal-a-year veteran from Spain with stature in the box, and poise in front of goal? No dice? Or a lightning-fast French lad who sets Ligue 1 on fire at the start of his career with his pace and power? Still nothing? OK. How about we bring back one of the greatest goal scorers in the history of our club. He's not quite past his sell date yet, has proven himself at this very club, and should bring excellent karma from you, Football Gods. Oh. Erm, well, how about a young Dutch lad? The Eredivisie has produced a number of talents, and we could buy one of their brightest young stars. NO, Football Gods, his name is NOT Posty McPostalot. What the hell? Has Anfield simply become the place that you send good strikers to die? (Notwithstanding Houllier's tactics, mind you.)

Don't get me wrong, Football Gods. Again, I'm very thankful for your generous contributions to our efforts in cup competitions in the last decade. And I don't want you to resolve my expectations problem by damning my club to the Underworld - *ahem, Leeds*. But is it too much to ask that I NOT feel like I've been socked in the kidney after 80% of the matches I watch? Or is it too much to ask that this club, who hasn't offended Your Holiness by tarnishing the game with dirty mafia money, or selling out to corporate interests, or routinely fielding starting lineups with no Englishmen, win just ONE Premier League title before I kick the bucket?

Your very, very disheartened worshipper,
Elf
(not feeling very super today)

POST OF THE DECADE

[ForeverRed]

Pretty much sums it up..........


Very good post...


Although I have no problem with Kuyt and never had a problem with Cisse, we are certainly experiencing an up and down rollercoaster ride that never leaves any room for relief.

[leg_breaker]

If the most you've got to complain about is only winning five European cups and countless league titles (as you like to go on and on about all the time), and regularly finishing at the top end of the table, then you really are ungrateful.

Try following a team like Rotherham or Bury, then you'll have something to moan about.

[Matt Clark]

Yes, thank you Lawrence Lowry.

What possessed you to post this in response to someone lamenting their team's loss on an internet board. Even if we had won every trophy ever smelted, losing away to Bolton in this fashion would still be something to consider vexing.

Please, please get a grip and resolve - finally - to critically analyse your own posts before hitting the "Post" button. It will be better for you and it most certainly will be better for us, for Bigsoccer and, who knows, for humanity as a whole. You are, after all, a potential contributor to the gene pool. You owe the world.

[ForeverRed]

If the most you've got to complain about is only winning five European cups and countless league titles (as you like to go on and on about all the time), and regularly finishing at the top end of the table, then you really are ungrateful.

Try following a team like Rotherham or Bury, then you'll have something to moan about.


yea you're right....

Because Rotherham and Bury have the funds and resources Liverpool does....

The expectations must therefore be the same.

[usscouse]

"You are, after all, a potential contributor to the gene pool. You owe the world.":D ("Arf" as Matt would say)
Unless that "stuff" can be hatched in the sun........I don't think the world's gene pool will suffer at all...!

[Bobinhood]

Yeah, but we're gonna win it six times. :D

[AndSomeAreAngels]

Dear Football Gods,

9.9, 10.0, 9.9, 9.9, 10.0, 10.0, 9.9, 10.0, and a 9.4 from the Russians.

[Matt Clark]

Here's something to fret about: our away form in numbers.

Corners:
Hosts 4 - Liverpool 36

Goal Attempts:
Hosts 21 - Liverpool 56

On Target:
Hosts 15 - Liverpool 25

Goals:
Hosts 7 - Liverpool 1

Points:
Hosts 10 - Liverpool 1

Across those four games, our hosts have converted one in three of their goal attempts (7 from 21) while we have converted one if 56 of ours. In other words, when we go on our travels, we dominate possession, territory and scoring chances (against every level of opposition) but we need nearly nineteen times as many chances to score as our opposition do.

Now that's something to get troubled about.

[Red Bird]

And that in a nutshell is the whole story. To win, you need to score and right now we're depressingly toothless.

[liverbird]

And that in a nutshell is the whole story. To win, you need to score and right now we're depressingly toothless.

Right now?????

[usscouse]

And that in a nutshell is the whole story. To win, you need to score and right now we're depressingly toothless.LOL..! I think I posted this message at the begining of last season.
My gums are still sore.

[655321]

If the most you've got to complain about is only winning five European cups and countless league titles (as you like to go on and on about all the time), and regularly finishing at the top end of the table, then you really are ungrateful.

Try following a team like Rotherham or Bury, then you'll have something to moan about.

Oh, it's you...the guy who thinks you can't be a real football fan unless you support a ************ team. This coming from a guy who admits that he won't even support his team in the UEFA Cup, because the tournament "doesn't matter". What a joke you are.

[Bjornebye]

Across those four games, our hosts have converted one in three of their goal attempts (7 from 21) while we have converted one if 56 of ours.

Possibilities! :D

Stig

[Red Bird]

Across those four games, our hosts have converted one in three of their goal attempts (7 from 21) while we have converted one if 56 of ours. And that one chance was a penalty. We've converted nowt from open play.

I do wonder at the lack of threat from set-pieces, corners and even throw-ins from attacking positions. Surely the coaching staff must have noted this, surely ...

By the way, Keegan reckons we aren't quite there yet, not enough quality in the squad to sustain two campaigns (Premiership and Europe) at the moment. Maybe next season. He actually thinks we may get big ears again. He also thinks if we (Reds) blink, Villa may gatecrash the top four. Given the way we've been shedding points and shipping goals away from home so far, he may be right. But that will only be decide in May.

[liverbird]

And that one chance was a penalty. We've converted nowt from open play.

I do wonder at the lack of threat from set-pieces, corners and even throw-ins from attacking positions. Surely the coaching staff must have noted this, surely ...

By the way, Keegan reckons we aren't quite there yet, not enough quality in the squad to sustain two campaigns (Premiership and Europe) at the moment. Maybe next season. He actually thinks we may get big ears again. He also thinks if we (Reds) blink, Villa may gatecrash the top four. Given the way we've been shedding points and shipping goals away from home so far, he may be right. But that will only be decide in May.

"I'd love to be a mole on the wall in the Liverpool dressing room at half-time."

Kevin Keegan

[Red Bird]

That was a gem. He did talk about the 4-3 match.

By the way, he said that the proof in whether rotation works or not is in the results (over the season).

[liverbird]

"They're the second best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that."

Wor Kev again

[el-capitano]

Across those four games, our hosts have converted one in three of their goal attempts (7 from 21) while we have converted one if 56 of ours.

Do we have a count up yet for hitting the post/crossbar????

Can we add that stat in as well, for the close but no cigar crowd.......:cool: