Finding a babysitter

[Ringo]

What advice would BS have on this?

The young parents we know aren't in our town so we can't glom onto their babysitters and we've kinda had a look at the neighborhood girls. The best babysitters we could think of are my wife's students (high school) but she also teaches in another town. We'd like to find somebody local. Is craigslist a good/safe thing to do? is there a bigbabysitter.com?

[Lizzie Bee]

If you find a good solution, let me know. Right now, I depend solely on family, who babysits for free, but I always feel guilty and they are occasionally resentful. We also have asked people at our church congregation to babysit occasionally, and they're happy to do it, but again, they do it for free and you don't want to overstep the bounds of kindness too much.

I don't even know how much I'm supposed to pay? I have three kids, but I could get one of them to sleep before a babysitter comes. So does that mean I only have to pay for two children? Or would that be cheap? Help! :)

[billreeves]

It's a tough one. This is one time that I'm grateful that my wife is religious -- her church has a list of volunteers, girls from the church who want to babysit, and chances are that a girl from the church is going to be a pretty good babysitter.

So, um, yeah, find religion, and your babysitter problems may go away. ;)

[IASocFan]

I have two grown children in their 30s and two in their 20s, and also sat for kids as a teenager. We frequently had our best luck with local junior high kids (mostly girls, but we had some good boys also). Junior High kids (12-15years) are frequently more available than older kids who have real jobs, and romantic issues. If you want to stay out real late - particularly on weekdays, you might want older kids.

Usually I started with neighbors, church members, or work colleagues who work close. Try to identify kids who might be interested, and have them over to meet and interact with your kids. Do they like to play with your kids? Read stories? Play games? Or do they just want to watch TV and/or talk on the phone? If they don't seem too interested, ask them if they know kids.

[SueB]

What a bugaboo this has been for us because we live nowhere near any extended family. When the kids were much younger, we had their favorite daycare provider over now and then, and that was nice - we paid her a lot, but we knew she was a professional, and the kids both loved her. But since then ...

I used to be in a baby-sitting co-op, which I used on occasion but never for more than 2 hrs at a time. I just never felt comfortable asking somebody to watch the kids for, say, an evening out consisting of dinner and a movie, which I'd REALLY like to do.

There used to be a supposedly good teenager in our neighborhood, but we never got around to using her, and then she moved, so ..... our sad solution is pretty much ... we just never go out. Except WITH them to kid-friendly movies and restaurants. They're 6 and nearly 8. Only 5 more years till I think I'd be comfortable leaving them alone for an evening.

Which brings up the question (or maybe it deserves its own thread) - how old should they be before you leave your kids home alone?

[IASocFan]

...Which brings up the question (or maybe it deserves its own thread) - how old should they be before you leave your kids home alone?

I'd start by seeing how they do by themselves as you leave for 5-10 minutes - to go get mail, take something to the neighbors. You can gradually increase time away as you and they grow confident in their ability.

These aren't questions to start with now, but to think about as they get older.
- Are they Ok - just the two of them?
- Do they fight or get along well when you're not in the room?
- Do you have a cell phone, and do they know how to call you if there are emergencies or issues?
- Are they calm, when things don't go right or do they panic?

I think we were comfortable leaving our kids for when they were 10 or 11. By the time they were 12, they were mature enough to sit for other smaller kids. Don't give them too much responsibility at one time. Especially early in the process, be available by phone or have a neighbor available. Sometimes the oldest decides to become king or the younger decides to do something that the older knows is wrong.

Good luck.

[DoctorD]

Find the best looking teenaged girl you can.

[DoctorD]

What a bugaboo this has been for us because we live nowhere near any extended family.
Believe me, it's far worse when you live near them, but they're always too busy to babysit. However, when THEY want to see the grandkids, you'd better come running.

[SueB]

Oh, I know there are pros and cons of living near family and so far, the cons have won out for us. Hence, we still live where we live. ;) But I can't help but be jealous of my brothers- and sisters-in-law who can run off to the city for an overnight trip or some such thing.

[Mr. Bee]

I just don't go out without my son. Chalk another one up for living nowhere near any of my family.

[Z010 Union]

Find the best looking teenaged girl you can.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to DoctorD again.

[Belgian guy]

What a bugaboo this has been for us because we live nowhere near any extended family. When the kids were much younger, we had their favorite daycare provider over now and then, and that was nice - we paid her a lot, but we knew she was a professional, and the kids both loved her. But since then ...

I used to be in a baby-sitting co-op, which I used on occasion but never for more than 2 hrs at a time. I just never felt comfortable asking somebody to watch the kids for, say, an evening out consisting of dinner and a movie, which I'd REALLY like to do.

There used to be a supposedly good teenager in our neighborhood, but we never got around to using her, and then she moved, so ..... our sad solution is pretty much ... we just never go out. Except WITH them to kid-friendly movies and restaurants. They're 6 and nearly 8. Only 5 more years till I think I'd be comfortable leaving them alone for an evening.

Which brings up the question (or maybe it deserves its own thread) - how old should they be before you leave your kids home alone?

How old were you yourself when your parents let you stay hom alone?
I myself was around 11-12, I think. But I guess it's different from child to child. Some might be ready earlier than others. I think it all depends on how independent and responsible your child is.

I remember, we had a family living down the street with four kids all about my own age. They had the biggest yard in the whole street so a lot of the time the other kids in the street would play there and even all stay for dinner, so we got to know the family pretty well.

But the thing was, from the time their oldest child was around 13-14, they would frequently go away on one or two week trips, and leave their children by themselves. Now, if I didn't know them so well, I would call that bad parenting. But they were in fact the most loving, committed parents you could imagine.

Their children had been thaught to be responsible, and if needed, call a relative or ask the neighbours for help if they couldn't handle a situation by themselves. And those kids did just fine, the house was immaculate, they spent the money their parents had left them for food and other stuff wisely. I'm fairly sure the fact that their parents trusted them to be responsible and mature at that early age helped them later in life.

However, I do feel that a lot of children can't be trusted for a night, let alone a week by themselves, but the point of my example is that age isn't the only factor at play here, you have to look at the child itself.

[SueB]

How old were you yourself when your parents let you stay hom alone?


I'm the youngest with a sister who is 8 years older and a brother who is 5 years older, so I don't recall ever even having a babysitter. From the age that I can remember until my brother went off to college, I always had an older sibling around. I CAN remember some quite interesting parties at the house when I was around 11 or 12, and my high school age brother was left in charge...

[firstshirt]

What advice would BS have on this?

The young parents we know aren't in our town so we can't glom onto their babysitters and we've kinda had a look at the neighborhood girls. The best babysitters we could think of are my wife's students (high school) but she also teaches in another town. We'd like to find somebody local. Is craigslist a good/safe thing to do? is there a bigbabysitter.com?
check the local high school. The one in my town has a list of girls who have taken the baby sitters course thru the red cross......If yours does not, then do what doctorD says and find the hottest girl you can

[firstshirt]

I'm the youngest with a sister who is 8 years older and a brother who is 5 years older, so I don't recall ever even having a babysitter. From the age that I can remember until my brother went off to college, I always had an older sibling around. I CAN remember some quite interesting parties at the house when I was around 11 or 12, and my high school age brother was left in charge...
when I was 13, mom and dad and little bro went to Disney. My older brothers, 17 and 18 at the time had a party one night.....I threaten to tell on them that they had pot in the house,,,,,they held me down and blew shot guns on my face until I was high as a kite......never did tell mom or dad,,,,,think I forgot

[BorrachoNJ]

Find the best looking teenaged girl you can.

The World According to Garp


(to stay on topic, me and the mrs. just don't go out:D)

[what a goal!]

Get a family member that you know of to babysit the kids.

[Ringo]

we don't live near anyone.

if the answer was the easy, I wouldn't have started the thread.

:)

[what a goal!]

we don't live near anyone.

if the answer was the easy, I wouldn't have started the thread.

:)What about any friends that you have or even that your child has.

[Ringo]

What about any friends that you have or even that your child has.


again, if it was that easy I wouldn't have started a thread. my friends ... well, I ain't leaving my chid with them. most of our other friends aren't the babysitting sort (either too busy or we wouldn't trust them).
his friends are our friends, too (the parents) and most don't have the desire to add a second two-year-old to their brood. they're busy enough with their own kids that I wouldn't even ask.

:)