Son of Dear NorthGoalGang

[NorthGoalGang]

Please resume bringing me your stupid problems and I'll keep giving you stupid advice. And the only thing I'd spend $30 on is a Vegas handjob.

[JAnderson14]

Dear NGG:

What was that GWOC tactic link?

Thanks,
Out of Ideas in Crofton

[TexanSoccer06]

Dear NGG,
Should I pay myself $30 for a handjob?

Sincerely,
the man whore

[Stogey23]

Originally posted by TexanSoccer06
Dear NGG,
Should I pay myself $30 for a handjob?

Sincerely,
the man whore

Lots of transactions, no profit.

Suit yourself.

[skipshady]

Dear NGG,

My current mobile phone service provider is Sprint PCS and I'm more or less satisfied with the service except the stupid thing doesn't get any signal inside buildings. I'm thinking about getting Cingular, which just arrived in the New York area.

I believe I can get comparable air time for the same monthly fee. Do you think it's worth making the switch, considering the trouble I have to go through letting both people who call me that I have a new number?

Sincerely, Stagnantly Mobile.

[jamison]

Originally posted by Stogey23
Lots of transactions, no profit.

Suit yourself.

Depends on your accounting firm. If you think about it, you are accumulating revenue and simultaneously expanding your R & D expenditure. Shallow customer base, yes, but look at the repeat users! Customer satisfaction would likely also be quite high.

(okay, I read too many business proposals)

[Matteo]

Dear NorthGoalGang,

I can't find my keys.

Sincerely,
Locked Out

[Bitter Beer Face]

Dear NorthGoalGang,

How'm I doing?


Love,

Vinny Mac

[Steve_R]

Dear NorthGoalGang,

What smells worse, fried bananas or charred seaweed?

Sincerely,
Lacking A. Senseasmell

[odg78]

Dear NGG,


Does the Son of Dear NorthGoalGang have brown eyes and black hair? If so it means I'm banging your lady right?


Sincerely
Son of Wham, bam, thank you ma'am

[Topo]

Originally posted by NorthGoalGang
Please resume bringing me your stupid problems and I'll keep giving you stupid advice. And the only thing I'd spend $30 on is a Vegas handjob.
Dude, that's illegal in Vegas. You have to go outside the county line before it's legal.

[NorthGoalGang]

I'm too lazy to do the quotes correctly, so I will give the answers here without their questions in some kind of order. Just take your answers for your question, or take any answer you think will help the best.

* See RT.
* If you pay yourself for a handjob, you're ripping yourself off.
* I've got Cingular. The good thing is the free long distance, free roaming deal. The bad thing is that the reception isn't always so good. When I was in Chicago a few months back, the reception was as hit and miss as it is in deep Eastern CT. But you can't beat the price, and the reception does seem to be improving.
* Your keys are right where you left them.
* You're uptight, outta sight and finger-lickin' good.
* Charred bananas smell the worst, especially when they're surrounded by rotting flesh.
* That sucks. It was kind of rude that you wiped it on the drapes. But last night I banged your mom so hard I'm now considered your father in 40 states.
* Handjobs are a dime a dozen, but a blowjob is the Lord's work.
* I want my friggin' sig back!

[skipshady]

Dear NGG,

What is the most acceptable way of picking my nose in polite company, specifically in the presence of a young lady I am courting, and whose face I want to decorate with my man juice?

Sincerely,
Nosey and picky.

[JeffGMc]

Dear NGG,

It is considered typical to have a testicle that hangs lower than the other? I ask because it's down to my knee now and I have yet to show the doctor.

Thanks,
Hun Glow

[NorthGoalGang]

Originally posted by JeffGMc
Dear NGG,

It is considered typical to have a testicle that hangs lower than the other? I ask because it's down to my knee now and I have yet to show the doctor.

Thanks,
Hun Glow

I think your doctor will see it soon, especially if you wear shorts. Try not to kick yourself in the balls.

As for myself, I have really big balls. Or my penis is small. Whichever.

[NorthGoalGang]

Originally posted by skipshady
Dear NGG,

What is the most acceptable way of picking my nose in polite company, specifically in the presence of a young lady I am courting, and whose face I want to decorate with my man juice?

Sincerely,
Nosey and picky.

There is NO acceptable way to pick your nose in public. Ever. This is intolerable behavior in a social setting.

What NGG does is slyly rub the outside of my nose, moving the boogies around, keeping them active and ready for harvesting at a later, less social time. And it's easier to explain rubbing your nose by explaining that you have a cold that being knuckle-deep in snot.

Good luck with that man juice thing, but don't pick your nose whilst doing that either.

[Ian Lozada]

Originally posted by Topo

Dude, that's illegal in Vegas. You have to go outside the county line before it's legal.

Is there anything that's truly illegal in Vegas?

[fiddlestick]

Dear NGG,
I'm surrounded by a bunch of commie pinko bastards. What's the best way to start a McCarthyrific red scare and my own private Cold War?

Paranoia Will Destroya

[NorthGoalGang]

Originally posted by fiddlestick
Dear NGG,
I'm surrounded by a bunch of commie pinko bastards. What's the best way to start a McCarthyrific red scare and my own private Cold War?

Paranoia Will Destroya

Start playing "I'm Proud to be an American" really loud. Whomever complains, shoot them.

[Stogey23]

Dear NorthGoalGang,

My girlfriend has no nipples anymore. Please help!

Sincerely,

Adolf Oliver Nipples