I'd love to write a blog today

[Matrim55]

I'd love to, but I can't. You see, I'm swamped at work. My real work, not this. And on top of it, my boss has decided to engage us in some "team-building" exercises, which translates to playing the type of party games I imagine 14-year old girls subject each other to at sleep-overs. Or maybe not; my imagination isn't very vivid.

Suffice it to say that I'm pissed, and looking into new career paths. There are only so many "team-building" exercises a person can endure before they snap like a ********ing twig. Here's today's agenda:

Hi everyone,

Just a reminder. If you have no done so already, please take one of these two surveys and send me the four letter profile as soon as possible.

http://similarminds.com/jung.html
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

The team building / training will start this afternoon at 1 PM in the Professional Services area. Thanks!

Regards,
and

Hi everyone,

Just a reminder, we will be having our August team building / training today, from 1 to 3 PM. Here's how this training will work.

From 1 to 2 PM, the 6 teams will work together on a creative presentation of some sort. Here are how the teams will be grouped, by your profile.

Team 1: ISTP, ESTP, ESFP

Team 2: ISFJ, ESFJ

Team 3: INFJ, INFP

Team 4: INTJ, INTP

Team 5: ENFP, ENFJ

Team 6: ESTJ, ENTJ, ENTP


The purpose of the presentation is to share with everyone else the similarities and differences of the team members' Jungian profiles, and their preferred communications styles, conflict resolutions styles, etc. Each team will have 5 to 7 minutes to present. The presentations can be in Powerpoint, a skit, a musical, or any other format. Be creative!

From 2 to 3 PM, each team will give their presentation in the PS Area. We will have a "American Idol" style of voting at the end. Each person who attends the viewing of the presentations can cast a vote for the team that they thought did the best job with the presentation. However, you can't vote for your own team. The team with the highest number of top votes will win recognition and a team lunch.

The attachment is another profile, of Sensors. It describes in more depth Sensors' characteristics and communications styles. I will hand out the other profiles from this series to each team. By the way, I am a Sensor, so you may be able to see some of these characteristics in me.

If you have no done so already, please take one of these two surveys and send me the four letter profile as soon as possible. Thanks!

http://similarminds.com/jung.html
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

Let me know if you have any questions. I look forward to seeing everyone's creativity in coming up with fun presentations![/quote] If anyone has a goddamn clue as to how this is going to engender anything except resentment and frustration among this company's workforce, feel free to post it here.

And if anyone has an explanation for how this twit got into Harvard, feel free to post that as well.

In the interim, I'll leave you with this: Saturday night was one of the most miserable, wretched displays from RBNY in what's been a miserable, wretched season.

And this: Aaron Lennon may be more sizzle than steak at the moment, but if I were building a team from scratch and had to choose any young winger in the world, I'd take him over Christiano Ronaldo 10 times out of 10.

And this: That's if you don't count Messi as a winger. Which I don't.

[DoctorD]

Clearly you are not in that Jungian category which includes architects and those who try to put order on the world.

[song219]

And on top of it, my boss has decided to engage us in some "team-building" exercises, which translates to playing the type of party games I imagine 14-year old girls subject each other to at sleep-overs. Or maybe not; my imagination isn't very vivid.

Obviously you need to find yourself a new team.

[Dan Loney]

Speaking as an "I" in those Jungian profiles, the idea of putting on a personality presentation in front of co-workers would make me puke. I think that particular personality presentation should be in the form of a hostile work environment lawsuit. Your company is prejudiced against introverts.

I'd offer to testify on their behalf, but I'm shy.

[BuffloSoldier]

And this: Aaron Lennon may be more sizzle than steak at the moment, but if I were building a team from scratch and had to choose any young winger in the world, I'd take him over Christiano Ronaldo 10 times out of 10.
How does it feel to be wrong? I mean, really.... ;)

[Matrim55]

How does it feel to be wrong? I mean, really.... ;)
Clearly you're an ENFJ.

Hey, did anyone else know that Jung was a borderline Nazi sympathizer? I'd go into it more, but apparently my personality type is both surly and lazy.

http://www.personal.usyd.edu.au/~apert/jung.html

[wolfp10]

ISTJ - "Trustee". Decisiveness in practical affairs. Guardian of time- honored institutions. Dependable. 11.6% of total population.

Does this make me a Republican?

[Thomas A Fina]

If anyone has a goddamn clue as to how this is going to engender anything except resentment and frustration among this company's workforce, feel free to post it here.

And if anyone has an explanation for how this twit got into Harvard, feel free to post that as well.


In order :

No - it should engender much laughter at the twits who think these things are a good idea. So that will bring everyone together hoping this guy/gal dies in a fire.


Mommy and Daddy were rich?

Either that or he/she was book smart.


Oh, and I'd rather watch that RBNY-Cbus game again than do anything like the above exercises

[Bill Archer]

Next month's meetings will be centered around the theme "Why the hell is everyone's productivity way down?"

The answer "Because you force us to spend hours engaged in meaningless twaddle" will not be accepted except from those already scheduled for exit interviews.

[ncguy]

To paraphrase someone wiser than me:
It's not that you can't make this stuff up, it's just sad you don't have to.

[Matrim55]

Next month's meetings will be centered around the theme "Why the hell is everyone's productivity way down?"

The answer "Because you force us to spend hours engaged in meaningless twaddle" will not be accepted except from those already scheduled for exit interviews.
Honest to god, that was the theme of June's company meeting. The very next day they had the nerve to schedule a team-building exercise.

We're doing these things once a month.

By the way, the group with the winning skit was the ENFP/INFP/INFJ's. They had the company midget be a contestant on The Dating Game to express her personality archetype, while she interviewed three potential suitors - one a gay Bostonian, one a Long Island Jew, one a Rastafarian - to express theirs.

I didn't make up any of the previous paragrph.

Tomorrow's blog is going to be called "Help me think of a way to get fired but still be eligible for unemployment".

[Dan Loney]

Double check to see if you're not on a bizarre reality show. Although "My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss" tanked in the ratings, it was an underappreciated classic.

Come to think of it, "Celebrity Dilbert" would be pretty awesome.

[Sachin]

ENTP - "Inventor". Enthusiastic interest in everything and always sensitive to possibilities. Non-conformist and innovative. 3.2% of the total population

[BigKris]

ENTP - "Inventor". Enthusiastic interest in everything and always sensitive to possibilities. Non-conformist and innovative. 3.2% of the total population

I was an ENTP when I was in high school. I think it was just because I was running with a bad crowd. Fortunately I escaped the dangers of their influence, went on to college and a career, and matured considerably. :cool:

[os_mutante]

I feel for you, man. Nothing gets my coworkers more pissed then when these medicine show type folkies show up and convince my company to pay for their idiotic team building chicanery. Ugh, has anyone had to do those "Situational Leadership" workshops? Where you have to act out different scenarios of your employees' "Readiness" levels? We did that shit for three days!!! Thank god for marijuana.

Alright I've said too much.

I'd like to add that I love working here.

[BigKris]

I'd like to add that I love working here.

Too late! We know who you are!:D

[HerthaBerwyn]

Meyer Briggs was a pretty good holding midfielder. He always wanted to be an attacking midfielder but he just wasnt cut out for it.

[Daniel le Rouge]

There is no job in the world worth putting up with "team-building". Get yourself a headhunter, get your resume on the market, and get the everlovinghelloutta that place.

You need to Carpe some Diem, boy, and I'm not talking about the cute secretary's ass, either.

Mind you, if you can get away with seizing it, then by all means do so. But that's between you and her.

Look Matt, we've known each other since the SAG days prior to WC98. Do yourself a favor and get out. I'm the last person in the world to give anyone career advice, and even I can tell you need to split. It's cruel and unusual punishment, and all you did was sign an employment contract. You've got to remember that working for a living doesn't ipso facto constitute a crime against the state--your bosses aren't entitled, let alone permitted, to treat you as an enemy combatant.

[Kenobi]

I'd love to offer some advice, but I started reading your boss's agenda and my eyes glazed over, drool poured out of my mouth, and I gave myself a concussion when my instantly-sleeping head hit the keyboard.

You need to get a job in publishing. Sure, it pays like sh*t, but most publishers are smart enough to know better than to try anything that even remotely resembling a scene from Office Space. That's a recipe for instant rebellion. That, and no drug tests. A conservative estimate would have two-thirds of the industry out of work.

[Saeyddthe]

Something about rising up the ladder causes most people to retreat into the inner sanctum fantasy land of "production meetings" (or as I like to call it: coffee & donut time)...