Tonight's MLS games

[Dan Loney]

Columbus is dead. They just haven't stopped wriggling around yet. Their only purpose now is to act as a speed bump for teams with legitimate aspirations to contend, like Real Salt Lake. On the bright side, this was always meant to be a rebuilding year for the Crew. And if it weren't for the injuries, they might have made a more serious run.

I suppose it's theoretically possible for two teams above them to collapse - Chicago looks like they're working on that as we speak. But the Fire have two games in hand on the Crew, and they're already two points ahead. So a total collapse on the part of the rest of the East won't even kick in for the Crew until September, and that's if the Crew win out until then. Not gonna happen.

So I'm picking the Crew to win something like, oh, 3-0, to give their fans false hope. Example: tonight's Fire-Wizards game. There is no happy ending for the Crew here, only the hope of a draw. (With lots of red cards, suspensions, and the like. I think Crew fans would draw the line at cheering for outright injuries, but, come on, guys, do you want to make the playoffs or not?)

A few years ago, tonight's game would have served as a dual-purpose US Open Cup game. Instead, it stands majestically alone. The math doesn't quite say loser is out of the playoffs, since Kansas City could conceivably survive a loss, but I think the Fire really need to end their tailspin. They were supposed to have taken advantage of Toyota Park long before now, but they haven't won a league game since July 4. It's as if they're not a really good team, or something.

Oh, New York vs. DC United. Hm. Is there some kind of hook or angle to this game? I mean, the Red Bulls have gotten some good results and all, but they're not going to catch DC United, so I'm having trouble getting interested in this game. If only there was some sort of underlying rivalry between the two clubs that would add a little spice to it - but Richie Williams isn't the Red Bulls coach now, so really, what's the point?

[MattR]

This is really the stuff I want from a blog. Some timely news on upcoming games, maybe a wrapup of the past weeks games. Maybe you guys could pick a best 11 or something. Just make sure that, like any good all-star game, it's made mostly of DC United players.

Speaking of D.C. United, I think there is some players or coaches or something from the team's past that has ended up in New Jersey. I can't put my finger on it... maybe DCU is just angry that the Red Bull organization has broken ground on a stadium near beautiful Newark, a place that I was in just last weekend. But only because of an air transfer from KLB (airline that sucks) to Continental (airline that sucks). Perhaps this was a coincidence, but doesn't Newark suck, as well? And what's the attendance going to be like in New York/New Jersey on a Wednesday? 4,000, including a couple of hundred DCU fans? Man, that superclub can't build that superstadium fast enough.

As for the other games, eh.. who cares. I mean, in reality, Columbus has a chance to take that SLC team, to bring themselves to a respectable 5 wins this season. 5 WINS? That's right folks, 5 wins, a -16 goals against, and still not eliminated from the playoffs. God Bless America. Columbus is going to get in. That Chicago Fire stadium is beautiful, but it can't make up for horrific defense at the end of every game.

Hey! Look, Chicago already has 5 wins, and they're going for good old number 6! And somehow they're ahead of the Crew by two points, with two games in hand, sure. One team from each division misses the playoffs, while four teams in each division is terrible. So, you know, you can be terrible and still make the playoffs 75% of the time.

Oh, and don't boo Arena. With that ego, he'll just think you're yelling "Bruuuuce."

[Foousic]

Oh, New York vs. DC United. Hm. Is there some kind of hook or angle to this game? I mean, the Red Bulls have gotten some good results and all, but they're not going to catch DC United, so I'm having trouble getting interested in this game. If only there was some sort of underlying rivalry between the two clubs that would add a little spice to it - but Richie Williams isn't the Red Bulls coach now, so really, what's the point?
It's funny you say your not that interested, because for the first time in a long time... (I mean we're talking 2 years probably) I'M EXTREMELY INTERESTED!

I mean let's take a look at this: Bruce Arena, John Harkes, and Richie Williams are all on the payroll, Agoose soon will be, and Shayn Kuykendall, and Dema were just aquired last week. If all of this wasn't enough, Arena in an interview with Sports Illustrated a day or two ago just bashed the hell out of DC, MLS, The US Soccer Federation, The Home Depot Center... the list went on and on. It's amazing how much a 360 ' public opinion can take on such a respected figure in such a short time, but Bruce Arena has done nothing to help himself, and I for one hope that United kicks the livng sh*t outta New York tonight. Not because they are New York, but purely to shut him up and put him in his place.

Bruce Arena has had some great success in his career, he is to this date the greatest US National team coach we've seen, but he has lost touch with reality, he's read his own press, and it's sad to see.

[Thomas A Fina]

Uh - again. Sarcasm meter repair - two doors down and to your right

[Dan Loney]

Motion to rename the rivalry trophy between the two clubs "The Shawn Kuykendall Cup."

Second?

[Naco]

Motion to rename the rivalry trophy between the two clubs "The Shawn Kuykendall Cup."

Second?

Shawn Kuykendall > Moreno, Pope, Arena, Harkes, Agoos, Nelson Mandela, and God. Combined.

[jgildea8]

Motion to rename the rivalry trophy between the two clubs "The Shawn Kuykendall Cup."

Second?
I will second, but only if the winner gets Shawn for the year while the other team pays him.:D

[Dan Loney]

We have a second. All in favor?

(Actually this is funnier if I don't give anyone a chance to respond.)

All opposed?

Motion passes unanimously. The Atlantic Cup is now and forevermore known as the Shawn Kuykendall Cup. No takebacks.

[WFU03]

I really like jgildea8's idea. And Shawn doesn't count against the winning team's roster count.

The Shawn Kuykendall Atlantic Cup could work as a name too.

[Stan Collins]

Rock On! The Shawn Kuykendall Cup! It's so awesome, I had to scroll back up to see if I spelled his name right!

[MattR]

Can't it just be the "Shawn Atlantic Cup Kuykendall," or "SACK?"

Yeah, we won the stupid SACK this year, but we'll get you!

[Blitzz Boy]

teams with legitimate aspirations to contend, like Real Salt Lake.

Now that's funnier than the Shawn Kuykendall Cup.

John Ellinger is still our coach.

John O'Brien may be coming back for CDCUSA & Donovan is feeling better.

We'll be on our reasonably-priced golf courses by early October.

[Stan Collins]

Can't it just be the "Shawn Atlantic Cup Kuykendall," or "SACK?" How about the Fake United Cup for Kuykendall? For some reason, that kinda takes me back to the days of Van Halen.

[tab5g]

We have a second. All in favor?

(Actually this is funnier if I don't give anyone a chance to respond.)

All opposed?

Motion passes unanimously. The Atlantic Cup is now and forevermore known as the Shawn Kuykendall Cup. No takebacks.

it's a real shame the crowd pulling for the Cup to be named after Kenny Arena couldn't get their act together to defeat this rushed resolution.

both are fine options:

http://dcunited.mlsnet.com/MLS/players/bio.jsp?team=dcu&player=arena_k&playerId=are456955
--------
MLS Experience
2005: Arena joined United prior to the 2005 season, but did not make a League appearance for the Black-and-Red. He assisted the reserve team in earning the inaugural title, seeing time in seven games (six starts), primarily at center back and defensive midfield. His season ended prematurely due to a fracture of his fifth metatarsal.
2004: Arena appeared in 10 games for the the MetroStars, cracking the starting lineup eight times. His lone goal of the season came in a 2-1 win over the Los Angeles Galaxy on 6/19.
2003: Arena appeared in 10 games (five starts), in his rookie campaign with the MetroStars. He made his MetroStars' debut on 5/10 versus D.C. United, entering as a sub for Amado Guevara in the 89th minute. He was drafted by the MetrosStars in the fourth round (32nd overall) of the 2003 MLS SuperDraft.
--------

http://dcunited.mlsnet.com/MLS/players/bio.jsp?team=dcu&player=kuykendall_s&playerId=kuy355964&statType=current
--------
MLS Experience
2005: A local product out of Vienna, VA, Kuykendall made two League appearances for the Black-and-Red during his rookie season. The midfielder was also an instrumental part of the reserve team's inaugural championship, as the only player to play every minute of all 12 games. He notched two assists during the reserve's campaign.
--------

but only one has an easily updateable wikipedia entry at this point.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenny_Arena

[norfcath57]

Columbus is dead. They just haven't stopped wriggling around yet. Their only purpose now is to act as a speed bump for teams with legitimate aspirations to contend, like Real Salt Lake. On the bright side, this was always meant to be a rebuilding year for the Crew. And if it weren't for the injuries, they might have made a more serious run.

I suppose it's theoretically possible for two teams above them to collapse - Chicago looks like they're working on that as we speak. But the Fire have two games in hand on the Crew, and they're already two points ahead. So a total collapse on the part of the rest of the East won't even kick in for the Crew until September, and that's if the Crew win out until then. Not gonna happen.

So I'm picking the Crew to win something like, oh, 3-0, to give their fans false hope. Example: tonight's Fire-Wizards game. There is no happy ending for the Crew here, only the hope of a draw. (With lots of red cards, suspensions, and the like. I think Crew fans would draw the line at cheering for outright injuries, but, come on, guys, do you want to make the playoffs or not?)

A few years ago, tonight's game would have served as a dual-purpose US Open Cup game. Instead, it stands majestically alone. The math doesn't quite say loser is out of the playoffs, since Kansas City could conceivably survive a loss, but I think the Fire really need to end their tailspin. They were supposed to have taken advantage of Toyota Park long before now, but they haven't won a league game since July 4. It's as if they're not a really good team, or something.

Oh, New York vs. DC United. Hm. Is there some kind of hook or angle to this game? I mean, the Red Bulls have gotten some good results and all, but they're not going to catch DC United, so I'm having trouble getting interested in this game. If only there was some sort of underlying rivalry between the two clubs that would add a little spice to it - but Richie Williams isn't the Red Bulls coach now, so really, what's the point?

Well, you could root against that paragon of self-effacing humility who is now in charge of the Red Bulls.

[SankaCofie]

I don't see how Columbus manages to lose home games with that vocal home support and intimidating atosphere at Crew Stadium. The home fans are a real 12th man, like a cauldron of screaming chanting Crew Ultras.

[Bill Archer]

Motion to rename the rivalry trophy between the two clubs "The Shawn Kuykendall Cup."

Second?

While I hate to use the words "Loney" and "thinking" in the same sentence, this post of Loney's got me thinking.

Or something.

Anyway, I think this "cup" stuff is the wrong approach. I mean OK, so you win a game or a season series and you get some grotesque bowling trophy that sits in the team offices someplace. Occasionally somebody uses it to fill the coffee machine or to store used gum but otherwise it really doean't matter much to anybody except a few hopelessly geeked out BigSoccer posters.

(And way too many of those guys are low-hope, limp-dick, dim wattage fry cooks living in Mom's basement anyway. See the above post, for example.)

But suppose instead of a bunch of old soup cans KrazyGlued together, suppose the LOSER gets something that nobody wants and is hard to ignore?

For example, maybe LA and Columbus should have a team series, and the loser each year has to keep Ezra Hendrickson. You want to see a coach get animated on the sidelines? Let him know he's 20 minutes away from being forced to have Ez on his roster for the next 12 months.

You want passion from the players? "OK guys, whoever lets them score this half has to room with Ezra all next season"

I'm calling Garber.

[Sachsen]

This thread has got some seriously funny stuff in it. Rep all around!

[WFU03]

Yikes. The dreaded Dan Loney blog curse:

"Former D.C. midfielder Shawn Kuykendall, a Madison High and American University graduate who signed with the Red Bulls last week, has a torn knee ligament and will be out at least six months."
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/08/16/AR2006081601874.html

[jgildea8]

Yikes. The dreaded Dan Loney blog curse:

"Former D.C. midfielder Shawn Kuykendall, a Madison High and American University graduate who signed with the Red Bulls last week, has a torn knee ligament and will be out at least six months."
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/08/16/AR2006081601874.html
Don't blame this one on Loney...
This has Metros written all over it.