Help me write Dan Loney's Wikipedia entry

[Matrim55]

On the 8th Day, god created Dan Loney. And he said "Go forth and troll, my son. Troll the eurosnobs, and the fanboys, and the Quakes fans. Troll little old ladies and pimply-faced teenagers. Troll republicans, and conservatives, and, um, more republicans. And very, very occasionally, a democrat. Troll baseball fans, and foreigners, and people who believe in me."

And so the fearful internet golem was released upon an unsuspecting and altogether silly populace. He trolled, and they bit. And it was good.

------

Links to some of Dan's greatest hits would be appreciated, as would his entirely unauthorized biography.

[Blitzz Boy]

"The Lost Pages Of Captain For Life" has to be around somewhere.

[clashcityrocker]

... his entirely unauthorized biography.
I'll give it a start: Dan Loney was born, and then he became a Galaxy fan, and then he went to hell. The end.

;)

[Matrim55]

I'll give it a start: Dan Loney was born, and then he became a Galaxy fan, and then he went to hell. The end.

;)
That's a good start, but surely you don't want to leave out stuff like Dan's role in the Plame Affair, all the donkey shows in TJ, etc etc.

[djwalker]

When Dan Loney grinds his coffee with his own teeth, and boils the water with his own rage.

Dan Loney can divide by zero.

Dan Loney seeks out grizzly bear cubs just to taunt their mothers.

[kenntomasch]

If you don't put in the "We're Scott, you're Laci" thing, you're missing out.

[DoctorK]

I do hope said entry would make mention of the complete fool Looney made of himself in the thread he started to bash Gavin Newsham's book on the Cosmos, Once in a Lifetime:

http://www.bigsoccer.com/forum/showthread.php?t=388820

Classic. :D

[SankaCofie]

He made a fool of himself? By not reading past the poorly worded introduction of a book and then naming the post "why I didn't get passed the introduction of..."

Dr.K, why do you hate Jesus?
If you even ARE a Doctor.

Make sure not leave out how he was born in the slums of Rio to an American woman and a Leprachaun.

[DoctorK]

Dr.K, why do you hate Jesus?
If you even ARE a Doctor.

I hate false prophets.

And I am Piled High & Deep.

[gavey]

When Dan Loney grinds his coffee with his own teeth, and boils the water with his own rage.

Dan Loney can divide by zero.

Dan Loney seeks out grizzly bear cubs just to taunt their mothers.

So what your saying is Dan Loney is like chuck norris and Vin Diesel. in other words when Dan loney donates bloood, he refuses the syringe and instead asks for a hand gun and a bucket.

[bwach]

You tryin to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?

[TOTC]

So what your saying is Dan Loney is like chuck norris and Vin Diesel. in other words when Dan loney donates bloood, he refuses the syringe and instead asks for a hand gun and a bucket.

Dan Loney takes bigger craps than Mike Segroves.

[Carrot]

Dan Loney takes bigger craps than Mike Segroves.
Dan Loney takes bigger craps than BigSoccer Bot.
And that's saying something.

[Ombak]

What's keeping you guys?

Get on with it! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Search?search=dan+loney&go=Go)

[Pathogen]

I'm more interested in Dan Loney's life as told in a Saturday afternoon special, title forthcoming.

[russ]

I remember when Dan Loney sold oranges and helped Iranian Monitor count how many Iranians were in Los Angeles.

Do you?

Hah.Newbie. ;)

[kenntomasch]

Dan Loney's attorney is Judge Crater.

[NORML]

Dan Loney was born in Yorba Linda, California to Francis A. Loney and Hannah Milhous Loney in a house his father built from a kit purchased from Sears, Roebuck. He was raised by his mother as an evangelical Quaker. His upbringing is said to have been marked by conservative evangelical Quaker observances such as refraining from drinking, dancing and swearing. His father (known as Frank) was a former member of the Methodist Protestant Church who had sincerely converted to Quakerism but never fully absorbed its spirit, retaining instead a volatile temper. Dan Loney's great-grandfather George Loney III had been killed at the Battle of Gettysburg during the American Civil War while serving in the 73rd Ohio Volunteer Infantry.

[Matrim55]

Dan Loney was born in Yorba Linda, California to Francis A. Loney and Hannah Milhous Loney in a house his father built from a kit purchased from Sears, Roebuck. He was raised by his mother as an evangelical Quaker. His upbringing is said to have been marked by conservative evangelical Quaker observances such as refraining from drinking, dancing and swearing. His father (known as Frank) was a former member of the Methodist Protestant Church who had sincerely converted to Quakerism but never fully absorbed its spirit, retaining instead a volatile temper. Dan Loney's great-grandfather George Loney III had been killed at the Battle of Gettysburg during the American Civil War while serving in the 73rd Ohio Volunteer Infantry.
Good start. We'll use this as the initial entry. Feel free to add or subtract as you (plural) see fit.

[monster]

Dan Loney pisses mediocraty.