View Full Version : The quintessential 'ugly American' leaving the country
amerifolklegend
07 Mar 2003, 03:02 PM
That's right, 3rd world, I'm invading you in May.
England, I suggest you be on high alert, as many a terrorist in many a land has it out for me. I shall hide from nobody, and walk freely among the dirty people for a few days. My flight is booked and my passport is ready. The United Kingdom better be ready for me.
Does anyone have an American-to-English dictionary I can borrow?
SoFla Metro
07 Mar 2003, 03:05 PM
Originally posted by amerifolklegend
That's right, 3rd world, I'm invading you in May.
England, I suggest you be on high alert, as many a terrorist in many a land has it out for me. I shall hide from nobody, and walk freely among the dirty people for a few days. My flight is booked and my passport is ready. The United Kingdom better be ready for me.
Does anyone have an American-to-English dictionary I can borrow? Just assume they're making fun of you and give everybody a good cockpunch.
HalaMadrid
07 Mar 2003, 03:07 PM
Uh oh.
France has changed its status to "White Flag Alert".
This is an upgrade from...well..."White Flag Alert".
The armistice papers granting you control of the country will await you upon landing on UK soil.
amerifolklegend
07 Mar 2003, 03:08 PM
Originally posted by SoFla Metro
Just assume they're making fun of you and give everybody a good cockpunch.
I shall use the advice my father handed down to me on travelling abroad:
If they don't understand you, repeat yourself s-l-o-w-e-r and LOUDER.
If they still don't understand you, they're just imbeciles.
nicodemus
07 Mar 2003, 03:09 PM
Originally posted by amerifolklegend
Does anyone have an American-to-English dictionary I can borrow? I might have to drive all the way to Ohio just for a drink in your bar for this one. :D
amerifolklegend
07 Mar 2003, 03:11 PM
Originally posted by HalaMadrid
Uh oh.
France has changed its status to "White Flag Alert".
This is an upgrade from...well..."White Flag Alert".
The armistice papers granting you control of the country will await you upon landing on UK soil.
:D Hee hee hee.
We'll be staying North of London, as the only two hotels that met my approval in London were on the South Side of the city. And since you can actually smell france's stink through the chunnel if you're on the South side of London, I quickly nixed both of those places.
Jeff
07 Mar 2003, 03:13 PM
Please bring me back a case of cask conditioned ale. Thanks.
amerifolklegend
07 Mar 2003, 03:16 PM
Originally posted by Jeff
Please bring me back a case of cask conditioned ale. Thanks.
I will have plenty of room in my suitcases for it. I am bringing only a limited amount of clothing and filling all the unused space with toothpaste to hand out to all the little boys and girls in England as a gesture of goodwill from their American big brothers and sisters.
I will then explain to them exactly what it is.
HalaMadrid
07 Mar 2003, 03:17 PM
Brian, you MUST go to an Arsenal game while in London if for nothing else than the pure comedy value of such a trip.
Take lots of photographs.
amerifolklegend
07 Mar 2003, 03:19 PM
I'm currently awaiting word on if I can get tickets to a game - any game - while I'm there. I get in on a Wednesday afternoon and the wedding I'm going to is on a Saturday afternoon/evening an hour north of London so my options are limited at best.
fidlerre
07 Mar 2003, 03:34 PM
you need me to watch your bar while you are gone? :D
amerifolklegend
07 Mar 2003, 03:53 PM
Originally posted by fidlerre
you need me to watch your bar while you are gone? :D
Heh heh heh.
no.
fidlerre
07 Mar 2003, 03:58 PM
Originally posted by amerifolklegend
Heh heh heh.
no.
how about i watch one bottle of scotch for ya?
amerifolklegend
07 Mar 2003, 03:58 PM
Places I plan on visiting that aren't pubs:
Belgos
Wagamama
Speaker's Corner. (is that what it's called? I can't remember - it's been a while since I was over there last.)
CHICO13
07 Mar 2003, 03:59 PM
Hey, aren't the Brits about the only allies we have left? ;)
amerifolklegend
07 Mar 2003, 04:04 PM
Originally posted by fidlerre
how about i watch one bottle of scotch for ya?
In all honesty, I don't sell any scotch that is worth drinking. We just don't get many scotch drinkers in there. We have Queen Anne (our well), JWred, Chevis, JB, and White Label, but that's it.
amerifolklegend
07 Mar 2003, 04:05 PM
Originally posted by CHICO13
Hey, aren't the Brits about the only allies we have left? ;)
Not for long. :D
fidlerre
07 Mar 2003, 04:06 PM
Originally posted by amerifolklegend
In all honesty, I don't sell any scotch that is worth drinking. We just don't get many scotch drinkers in there. We have Queen Anne (our well), JWred, Chevis, JB, and White Label, but that's it.
okay then, you have any good malt liquors?
amerifolklegend
07 Mar 2003, 04:09 PM
Originally posted by fidlerre
okay then, you have any good malt liquors?
Heh heh heh.
Contradiction of terms, ain't it?
amerifolklegend
07 Mar 2003, 04:14 PM
The best thing about England - at least from the last time I was there - is that they still used the blue styrofoam containers for their Filet-O-Fishes at McDonald's.
That's awesome.