If the World Cup were War...

[NMMatt]

I saw this last time. Added some of my own. Hope people find this in good taste:

Group A:
Germany - gets off to a good start, over confidence at half time, poor finishers

Group B:
England - tough team, likely to advance quite far
Sweden - bunkers down and waits until the game is over, plays for a draw

Group C:
Argentina - talks tough, but actually a minnow
Serbia - succeptible to quality airial game

Group D:
Mexico - good initial track record, can't get over major defeat to rival
Iran - see Argentina

Group E:
Italy - doesn't understand that you can't switch sides midgame
USA - best team, however, often overlooks lesser opponents

Group F:
Japan - doesn't know when they've lost
Australia - up and coming side
Brazil - still think it's a football game

Group G:
France - thinks that surrendering means winning for some reason
Switzerland - refuses to play
Korea - tough team, hangs with the big boys

Group H:
Spain - once a world power, faded long ago
Saudi Arabia - tries to buy the game

[Raulduke]

In the nuclear age there isn't enough time for that much analysis. There's the opening ceremony fire works show and then the cockroaches rule the world for the next thousand years.

[AstonVillaFan]

wow this is easy 2 pic
group A Germany demolshes
Group B England wins
Group C eh Argentina I suppose thats acctually a tough group
Group D...Oh gimme break we all know its Iran by a mile
Group E USA
Group F....Um Croatia or Brasil tough call maybe australia
Group G....Again a tough call....

[usscouse]

If the World Cup were (as unimportant as) war......

The USA would have put up their "Mission Accomplished" Banner .............right after the qualifiers.......:)

[spoonman]

Or they stay in Germany for three years

[NMMatt]

If the World Cup were (as unimportant as) war......

The USA would have put up their "Mission Accomplished" Banner .............right after the qualifiers.......:)

Hah! True that.

[NMMatt]

Or they stay in Germany for three years

Only three years? I mean they first landed in 44...

[FIFARay007]

And don't forget about making every other team play like us... :p

[Awesom-O]

Switzerland refuses to play....hahaha

Gotta love their Neutrality.

[sinner78]

Group A

Germany
Ecuador
Poland
Costa Rica


- Germany easily rolls over the competition .But Ecuador proves to be tough due to their mountain top territory .Altitude kills off the rival troops. Costa Rica is a non factor because their army is just one man and a jeep.


Group B

England
Sweden
Paraguay
Trinidad & Tobago


- England crushes the opposition comfortably .Swedens small but efficient army takes second .


Group C

Serbia & Montenegro
Ivory Coast
Argentina
The Netherlands

- Serbs are crazy bastards even though they have lost afew wars .They will have too much for the opposition here .Ivory coast takes 2nd due to experience in the crazy west african trend for civil wars .They are loons .
the Dutch are too busy getting wasted to fight .Argies just dont have the finance for another battle .various argentine sportsmen vow revenge for the defeats and start beating their chests in the sports media.


Group D

Iran
Angola
Mexico
Portugal


-Iran wins the group .They have too much for their opponents who lack any serious military .Angola sneaks 2nd because its another crazy african nation.


Group E

USA
Czech Republic
Ghana
Italy

-USA takes the group .Crazy slavs from the czech republic take 2nd.
italy surrenders early .


Group F

Croatia
Japan
Brazil
Australia


- Crazy croats take first place .experience in the bloody yugoslav civil war.
Japanese take second over the brazilians and aussies .eliminated teams are just too lazy to fight .Japanese have the technology and the work rate to advance .


Group G


S. Korea
France
Togo
Switzerland


-korea has well armoured military .threats alone are enough to make the competition quit .france does a deal with the swiss.....a place in the next round in exchange for all the gold they stole from togo .


Group H


Ukraine
Saudi Arabia
Spain
Tunisia


- Ukraine spank the opposition with their aged soviet leftover military equipment .saudi's use terror tactics to make the other two nations quit.


Round two

Germany vs Sweden

- both nations are efficient but germans have the numbers to go with the efficiency .beat out the swedes and their volvo tanks .


England vs Ecuador

- England takes ecuadors mountain fortress .steals all their gold.
takes place in next round.


Serbia vs Angola

- bloody battle between two crazy countries .Serbs come out on top after angola's best players are hit with malaria .

Iran vs Ivory Coast

- Iran takes the battle over the psycho ivorians .but the ivorians do damage when they kill irans crazed military president leaving them vunerable for the next round .

USA vs Japan


- the japanese dont wont a repeat of history so they wave the white flag before a single bullet is fired .oooooppps .


Czech vs Croatia

- a bloody battle ,crazy croats edge through to the next round.
czechs are too distracted making porn films to continue.

South Korea vs saudi arabia

- saudi's terror threats dont hold any water with the koreans .koreans take the battle with sheer numbers and the fact that they aint bothered about taking big losses .


France vs ukraine

- after their earlier deal with the swiss ,france surrenders and lets ukraine through to the quarters .


Quarter final


Serbia vs Germany

- serbs have lucked their way to the QF ,their luck ends as germans roll through and win in a swift panzer attack .


England vs Iran

- england beats iran who are in disarray after their leader was killed by the ivorians .england has the technology to hit the iranian targets ,irans nuclear weapons dont quite have the legs to reach england so they fall down.


USA vs Ukraine

-ukraines soviet technology isnt quite enough to win this one .
their migs cant beat out the stealth bombers .


Croatia vs Korea

-croatia shock korea and go through .korea are still reeling after taking heavy losses in the last round .Korean leader 'Mai Long Nob' announces their surrender on TV .


Semi Final


England vs Germany

-england repeats the battle of britain and stops the german jugernaut in its tracks .German leader Josef mengele klinssimann is foiled again .


USA vs Croatia

- crazy croats dont have enough steam left to reach the final .they bow down after zagreb is taken by a regiment of navy seals lead by Dando Lonovan .



Final


England vs USA

-teams agree to share the trophy after annihilating all the competition.

[Chris2006]

...that's not a fair game.

11=england
11=USA
11=Ukraine..others
11=France
11=Poland
------------
55

against 11 german

---------------

this is the stupiest question of all quetstions of this forum

germany lost the real war at the cold winter in russia and million of soldiers are killed there. In Stalingrad 1/2 millions german soldiers were killed(frozen).
So on d-day the most of the germany soldiers were in russia. I think that was a tactical problem.

[FIFARay007]

...that's not a fair game.

11=england
11=USA
11=Ukraine..others
11=France
11=Poland
------------
55

against 11 german

---------------

this is the stupiest question of all quetstions of this forum

germany lost the real war at the cold winter in russia and million of soldiers are killed there. In Stalingrad 1/2 millions german soldiers were killed(frozen).
So on d-day the most of the germany soldiers were in russia. I think that was a tactical problem.

<crickets chriping>








So who invited the buzzkill? :p

[white riot]

...that's not a fair game.

11=england
11=USA
11=Ukraine..others
11=France
11=Poland
------------
55

against 11 german

---------------

this is the stupiest question of all quetstions of this forum

germany lost the real war at the cold winter in russia and million of soldiers are killed there. In Stalingrad 1/2 millions german soldiers were killed(frozen).
So on d-day the most of the germany soldiers were in russia. I think that was a tactical problem.

Oh ffs.

[AstonVillaFan]

lol how does japan make it through they litterally only have a reserve army. Germanys army isn't that strong either. They only win becauz everyone else in their group has no army.

[MIGkiller]

Even a War World Cup could be won by Brazil.

Argentina and Paraguay would be defeated without a single shot. Brazil would just blow up the Itaipu Dam, flooding both countries with the "water bomb".

If the French and Dutch were expelled from Brazilian territory in the past by an alliance of Portuguese and natives, I don't see any problems beating the again easly.

England's 53th expedition inside Brazilian wild and already unknown countryside would vanish again.

Japan, Australia and Korea would lose their military to a Tsunami wave on their way to Brazil.

We would unleash all the favela's bandits and crime lords on the Slavs and African war-junkies to see who are the biggest savages.

Portugal would just be glad if we reinstated the old Empire and would ask to rejoin with us.

We would send a platoon of carnival mulatas to meet the armies of Iran, Saudi Arabia and other muslim nations. They would rather commit suicide than looking at Brazilian half-naked women.

That would left the USA. We would lure their Marines to a jungle fight in the Amazon. Since their ambition to taking over the Amazon forest one day would protect it from being nuked, they would have take in a man-to-man fight, where their superior technology would be useless. They would probably be eaten by our Army Special Forces, who are harshly trained in the ways of the wild jungle.

[RemiNL]

I really don't get the point of this thread, if what you really want is the world to annihilate each other then why not just run the simulation on Hearts of Iron II and be done with it? :D

[cloud495]

You know, the Amazon is a lot like Vietnam, combat-wise. There have been a lot of Pentagon folk brooding and thinking about how to handle one of those for a while now...

You sure the Navy Seals wouldn't defeat Brazilian Special Ops? Because in war nightvision is more powerful than a soccerball.

[GreenIsle]

The USA would have put up their "Mission Accomplished" Banner .............right after the qualifiers.......:)
Especially with Australia and England reffing the US games and paying PK's against the opposition for things like walking on the pitch, or looking at the US players. :)

[Jay510]

So on d-day the most of the germany soldiers were in russia. I think that was a tactical problem.


except that Stalingrad was in 1942 and Dday was in 1944....making your knowledge of history wrong, and thus, quite lame

[MerikanMaster87]

AHA chris 2006 doesnt know history *points and laughs*