Sir Nigel Sorebottom
03 May 2006, 02:02 PM
Okay, lets help all those fat-assed, lazy journalists out there, and think of positive and negative headlines for each team in the World Cup. Bonus points for "witty" wordplay (ex., "Much Ado About Adu"-style headlines), but don't let that limit you.
For now, I'm just using the names of the countries, but perhaps later we can expand this to player names. It's pun-tastic!
Here goes...as you can see, I was stumped on more than a few countries:
Group A
1) Poland: "POLISH JOKE" (negative)
2) Ecuador: "ECUA-SCORE!" (positive; add another exclamation point for a big win); "ECUA-DORKS!" (negative)
Group B
1) Sweden: "SWEDE DREAMS", "HOW SWEDE IT IS", etc
2) Trinidad: "TRINI-WHO'S-YOUR-DADDY" (my apologies, but let's see you do better)
Group C
1) Ivory Coast: "IVORY COASTS" (after a big win...get it? Coasts?)
2) Netherlands: "DUTCH OVEN" (can be positive or negative; accompany with picture of a sweaty, stressed-out manager loosening his tie. Think Aguirre versus the USA in 2002); "DUTCH TREAT!"
Group E
1) Italy: "LITTLE ITALY" (negative, obviously...run after a loss to the USA, accompany with a picture of McBride skying over a hapless Italian defender to head one in the net)
2) Ghana: "THIS IS GHANA HURT" (I'm particularly proud of this one)
3) Czech Republic: This one is too easy--CZECH PLEASE!, or CZECH-MATED, or BOUNCED CZECH...you get the idea.
Group F
1) Brazil: "BRAZIL NUTS" (can be run with picture of fanatical supporters, or perhaps a fiery player arguing with the ref)
Group G
1) Togo: "TOGO TO GO HOME" (I like this one nearly as much as "THIS IS GHANA HURT")
Group H
1) Spain: "PAIN IN SPAIN" (this will likely be used, given their World Cup history)
As I read over what I just wrote, I am deeply ashamed, except for the clever Ghana joke. But really, I guarantee you will see some of these in the papers before the end of June.
For now, I'm just using the names of the countries, but perhaps later we can expand this to player names. It's pun-tastic!
Here goes...as you can see, I was stumped on more than a few countries:
Group A
1) Poland: "POLISH JOKE" (negative)
2) Ecuador: "ECUA-SCORE!" (positive; add another exclamation point for a big win); "ECUA-DORKS!" (negative)
Group B
1) Sweden: "SWEDE DREAMS", "HOW SWEDE IT IS", etc
2) Trinidad: "TRINI-WHO'S-YOUR-DADDY" (my apologies, but let's see you do better)
Group C
1) Ivory Coast: "IVORY COASTS" (after a big win...get it? Coasts?)
2) Netherlands: "DUTCH OVEN" (can be positive or negative; accompany with picture of a sweaty, stressed-out manager loosening his tie. Think Aguirre versus the USA in 2002); "DUTCH TREAT!"
Group E
1) Italy: "LITTLE ITALY" (negative, obviously...run after a loss to the USA, accompany with a picture of McBride skying over a hapless Italian defender to head one in the net)
2) Ghana: "THIS IS GHANA HURT" (I'm particularly proud of this one)
3) Czech Republic: This one is too easy--CZECH PLEASE!, or CZECH-MATED, or BOUNCED CZECH...you get the idea.
Group F
1) Brazil: "BRAZIL NUTS" (can be run with picture of fanatical supporters, or perhaps a fiery player arguing with the ref)
Group G
1) Togo: "TOGO TO GO HOME" (I like this one nearly as much as "THIS IS GHANA HURT")
Group H
1) Spain: "PAIN IN SPAIN" (this will likely be used, given their World Cup history)
As I read over what I just wrote, I am deeply ashamed, except for the clever Ghana joke. But really, I guarantee you will see some of these in the papers before the end of June.