Great Quotes in football

[hellymonder]

Henk Ten Cate after AZ-Ajax:

"FC Wegereef 1 Ajax 0"

{referring to the bad referee mr Wegereef}

[Disco Dale]

"I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country."

Ian Rush, Welsh player
fixed.

That's funny! Honestly, this guy must have drunk too much rum or any alcohol that Brazilians drink.
Cachaça

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"I bet they'll be calling this the Matthews Funeral", heard at the funeral of Stan Mortensen

[Legacy]

Bump! :D

Post some quotes people!!

[Viola Star]

“He covers every blade of grass out there, but that’s only because his first touch is so crap.”-Dave Jones on Carlton Palmer.

The worst thing about playing Chelsea is having to listen to Mourinho afterwards. He talks absolute bollocks. He should shut the ******** up".-Edmilson.

"We will not miss Makelele, his technique is average, he lacks the speed and skill to take the ball past opponents, and 90% of his distribution either goes backwards or sideways."-Florentino Perez

"I am grateful to my father for all the coaching he did not give me."-Ferenc Puskas

[Skizz]

More Ian Holloway:

“We went from looking like the Dog and Duck to Real Madrid”

“He’s going to be what?! Oh for God’s sake. Sir David Beckham? You’re having a laugh. He’s just a good footballer with a famous bird”

“My wife runs the house much better than I could so I think she could be a linesman, or a referee, or even a football manager, and that’s the truth”

“To put it in Gentleman’s terms, if you’ve been out for a night and you’re looking for a young lady and you pull one, you’ve done what you set out to do. We didn’t look our best today, but we’ve pulled”

“Some weeks the lady is good looking and some weeks she’s not. Our performance today would not have been the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi”

“She may not have been the best looking lady we ended taking home, but it was still very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much and let’s have coffee”

“When you see the coals, your first reaction is to think 'my God, that's going to burn me', ... If someone can teach you how to put that out of your mind, how can that fail to make you a better footballer? You may not be able to walk afterwards, which is a risk, but it's one we're willing to take. You have to stop thinking about your family or anything else that is going on outside the game. You can get better at it and the more experience you get the easier it becomes.”

“We are all going to walk across a pit of coals and someone will teach us how to do it. I hope they will because I can't even walk on hot sand. It's all about training you to be a better person. Mastering your mind and focusing on the right things are important skills to have. There are millions of people who can kick a ball around but only a few can do it under pressure. You have to block out everything and focus on the game.”

“There was a spell in the second half when I took my heart off my sleeve and put it in my mouth”

"I can't see into the future. Last year I thought I was going to Cornwall on my holidays, but I ended up going to Lyme Regis"

“If anybody's offended by seeing a backside, get real. Maybe they're just jealous that he's got a real nice tight one, with no cellulite or anything. I thought his [Joey Barton's] bum cheeks looked very pert”

“I think us human beings will end up with thumbs like giant crabs pretty soon because of all the texting that goes on and the playing of these stupid computer games, and we'll have lost the art of talking. It really does worry me”

“[Grease]… What a great movie. When Olivia Neutron Bomb comes on in that tight gear at the end it's scary isn't it? When she changes from nice little Sandy into a hellcat on legs.... whoah! Unbelievable.”

“I think it's a pile of donkey dung. FIFA should scrap the Bosman ruling and get back to the way it was where anybody who is out of contract should be owned by the club and he should be able to command a fee for them”

“I've been polishing that car [Tony Capaldi, who wants to leave the club] since I've been here. Unfortunately, I didn't buy it off the forecourt straight away… I'm not going to spend all this time polishing that car and then let somebody rip it away from me off my drive in the summer for absolutely nothing. That's bad business. Somebody is going to have to buy it off me, and I might have to push it off my drive if it doesn't want to go”

“As a player he [Roy Keane] was awesome - and hard as nails. You wouldn't mess with him. A running machine, a tackling machine - a winning machine. He was like a shark in the middle of the pitch. There was nothing of him but if you clattered into him it was like hitting the side of a train. I just couldn't live with him”

[yasik19]

had to suscribe to this thread.

[harkes6]

i read a quote once and i can't for the life of me remember the circumstances. surely someone more knowledgeable than me can help out...i'm pretty sure it was an assistant of the england team after a group game. england was upset and allegedly the assistant said to the manager, "so, it's test then, is it boss?"
something about the stoicness of that quote seemed funny to me at the time.

anyways, that's my measly contribution...i just want to subscribe to this as well!

[John Simkin]

Quotations from Bill Shankly

1. "Some people believe football is a matter of life and death, I am very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that."
2. "If Everton were playing at the bottom of the garden, I'd pull the curtains."
3. "The trouble with referees is that they know the rules, but they don't know the game."
4. "A lot of football success is in the mind. You must believe that you are the best and then make sure that you are. In my time at Liverpool we always said we had the best two teams in Merseyside, Liverpool and Liverpool reserves."
5. "Liverpool was made for me and I was made for Liverpool."
6. "Of course I didn't take my wife to see Rochdale as an anniversary present, it was her birthday. Would I have got married in the football season? Anyway, it was Rochdale reserves."
7. "If you are first you are first. If you are second you are nothing."
8. "With him in defence, we could play Arthur Askey in goal." (Bill Shankly talking about Ron Yeats.)
9. "The difference between Everton and the Queen Mary is that Everton carry more passengers!"
10. "At a football club, there's a holy trinity - the players, the manager and the supporters. Directors don't come into it. They are only there to sign the cheques". (Bill Shankly on boardroom meetings.)
11. "I'm just one of the people who stands on the kop. They think the same as I do, and I think the same as they do. It's a kind of marriage of people who like each other."
12 "It was the most difficult thing in the world, when I went to tell the chairman. It was like walking to the electric chair. That's the way it felt." (Bill Shankly on the leaving of Liverpool.)
13. "If you can't make decisions in life, you're a bloody menace. You'd be better becoming an MP!"
14. "My idea was to build Liverpool into a bastion of invincibility. Napoleon had that idea. He wanted to conquer the bloody world. I wanted Liverpool to be untouchable. My idea was to build Liverpool up and up until eventually everyone would have to submit and give in."
15. "I don't think I was in a bath until I was 15 years old. I used to use a tub to wash myself. But out of poverty with a lot of people living in the same house, you get humour."
16. "It's there to remind our lads who they're playing for, and to remind the opposition who they're playing against."
17. "I know this is a sad occasion but I think that Dixie would be amazed to know that even in death he could draw a bigger crowd than Everton can on a Saturday afternoon." (Comment made at Dixie Dean's funeral.)
18. "The problem with you, son, is that all your brains are in your head." (Comment made to a Liverpool trainee.)

19. "I was the best manager in Britain because I was never devious or cheated anyone. I'd break my wife's legs if I played against her, but I'd never cheat her."

20. "No one was asked to do more than anyone else... we were a team. We shared the ball, we shared the game, we shared the worries."
21. "Football is a simple game based on the giving and taking of passes, of controlling the ball and of making yourself available to receive a pass. It is terribly simple."
22. During one match, Tommy Lawrence, the Liverpool goalkeeper, let the ball go through his legs. "Sorry, boss, I should have kept my legs together," said Lawrence. "No, Tommy, your mother should have kept her legs together!," replied Shankly.
23. "Son, you'll do well here as long as you remember two things. Don't over-eat and don't lose your accent." (Comment made to Ian St John on the day he signed him.)
24. "He's worse than the rain in Manchester. At least God stops the rain in Manchester occasionally." (Comment made on Brian Clough.)
25. "I've been a slave to football. It follows you home, it follows you everywhere, and eats into your family life. But every working man misses out on some things because of his job."
26. "A football team is like a piano. You need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing."
27. "The socialism I believe in is everybody working for the same goal and everybody having a share in the rewards. That's how I see football, that's how I see life."

[dgpro]

What soccer really is... watch this video
http://www.digitalphotoframeonline.com/vidoes

[Disco Dale]

Sorry if this has been on before, its very well known in UK.. British tabliods are rightly disliked for many many reasons, but they occasionally give you a chuckle ....a few years ago Inverness Caledonian Thistle, 1st division and part time and often known as "Caley" beat the mighy Celtic in the cup... here was the headline:-

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/38993000/jpg/_38993885_sunheadline203.jpg

[Disco Dale]

OK, then - lets have Jose's Last Great Quote at Chelsea .....

"If you have no eggs, you have no omelette. In the supermarket, you have class one, class two and class three eggs.

Some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So, when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot get there, you have a problem."

Waitrose certainly liked it ....

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Media/Pix/pictures/2007/09/20/WaitroseAd512.jpg

[midknight]

(After Trinidad and Tobago's first leg home draw against Bahrain)

Reporter : Do you think tactics explains the team's result tonight ?
Leo Beenhaker (visibly irritated) :I don't have a clue. Why don't you tell me, since you're the expert on all of this ?

[msk06]

This was said by my Uncle to my cousin during an argument after my cousin lost his u16's local cup comp final.

"You know everything but have nothing. I know nothing yet I have everything"

It was the only fresh quote related to soccer I could think of, sorry:o:D

[Disco Dale]

i read a quote once and i can't for the life of me remember the circumstances. surely someone more knowledgeable than me can help out...i'm pretty sure it was an assistant of the england team after a group game. england was upset and allegedly the assistant said to the manager, "so, it's test then, is it boss?"
something about the stoicness of that quote seemed funny to me at the time.

anyways, that's my measly contribution...i just want to subscribe to this as well!

Sorry meant to stick this up ages ago. .. Graham Taylor & Phil Neal in the (in)famous fly-on-the-wall documentary, do watch it if you can ...

this is a test .... its a real test ... a real real test ... (http://youtube.com/watch?v=FqlqwV_u1eo)
"Do I Not Like That" (http://youtube.com/watch?v=Tg81IJkmDvI)
PLATTY!!!!!!! (http://youtube.com/watch?v=wfCq24EEzR4)

theres more of it there ...

[Kazuma]

Some of these are paraphrased so bear with me

"I am married to football and have an affair with my wife."

Sir Bobby Robson.

A football fan's year runs from August to May, June and July only count when there's international tournaments taking place."

Nick Hornby

"I have learned things from the game. Much of my knowledge about Britain and Europe come not from school, but from away games and sports pages."

Nick Hornby

"I fell in love with football as I was later to fall in love with women: suddenly, inexplicably, uncritically, giving no thought to the pain or disruption it would bring with it."

Nick Hornby

[geego]

"I have learned things from the game. Much of my knowledge about Britain and Europe come not from school, but from away games and sports pages."

Nick Hornby
This is in fact true for millions of fans around the world. How many of you in a geography test when asked for the most important cities of a country would name their top teams instead? :cool:

[Kazuma]

"It's ectasy, anguish, joy, and despair. It's part of our history, part of our country, and it will be part of our future." Sean Bean

It's theater, art, war, and love." Sean Bean

"It's our religion, we do not apoligize for it, we do not deny it. They're our team, our family, our life!" Sean Bean

[El Mandrake]

Coco Basile: I perfectly place the players on the field, when the game begins they move.

[Disco Dale]

"Anything can happen - the truth today is not the truth tomorrow"
Football Agent Christophe Henrotay, being unusually candid, specifically about his client Daniel van Buyten possibly going to Newcastle

"The ball is round. The game lasts ninety minutes. That much is fact. Everything else is theory"
Sepp Herberger, German Manager

[Disco Dale]

The US finally came up with an exit strategy. Unfortunatley it's for the World Cup

Jay Leno US Chat Show Host 2006