Have you left behind a sports/soccer widow?

[Dark Savante]

In the last 8months or so my activity on this site has increased quite a bit and when I'm not on here I'm usually watching a game from anyone of 4leagues or MUTV is permanently on.

My GF was cool with this site and some of my footy watching, but of late there has been some understanable mumblings of discontention. In fact, i'll be taking a heavy sabbatical from here and most games in the next few months of my own accord, which will please her no end. As I can then embrace such fun activities as wasting my weekends clothes shopping and being throughouly bored out my mind as she makes up her mind (10times) and then ends up purchasing the item she saw in the first shop 3hrs ago. Sorry Saph, but you women don't know how to shop! Be like men!! Go in, get it, get out! Mission complete within 5mins tops :) Easy huh? :p

Anywho...for those of you with wives or GF's you actually live with or are commited too...how do you balance your time between footy(sports) and her? NOTE: You have to be extremely passionate about footy/sports to answer this one!! No casual viewers who barely check the results from weekend to weekend pls!!

I'm curious because United is a way of life, but so's a GF/Wife you value...something's got to give right? Unless you're lucky enough to have someone like Saph who loves the game as much as you (My girl loathes United, although she could tell you every players name who is active for us as well as the reserves and u-18 squads lol..and quite a few of the historical ones too)my basic penance will be a huge reduction in usage here for a while to 'make up' for the past few months...that's my version of give and take, lol. So how do you do it?

[Motterman]

part time supporter









:p

[Vermont Red]

I had to make a choice years ago with regards to all sports, not just soccer. In general, I only watch the Cowboys and United at every opportunity. Rarely watch baseball, hockey or basketball anymore. Can usually get a pass for the Olympics and the Super Bowl. I can't say that everything I do with my wife instead of watching sports is fun but every relationship is a compromise. If anyone would seriously choose sports over their spouse/girlfriend then that should be evidence that the relationship isn't working. I wish I had more time for pursuing my own interests, but the cost would be too great. In truth, I don't feel like I miss much. (Now if I can get her to soften about watching some of the recorded episodes of "24".)

With regards to Saph, how do we know that her husband isn't a sports/soccer widower and that his absence is the only reason that she had time to devote to our gang of idiots.

[Motterman]

So how do you do it?

Seriously though"

If she loves you, it's up to her to make it work with you, just as much as you need to sacrifice some things for her. I mean, we have maybe 3 match days a week at the most (give or take 1 or 2 with reserve/youth teams, etc.) It's not like United is 24/7 (as much as it could be if you let it) Use some common sense and judgement, try to include her in things that interest you - not just United. If she doesn't care, find out what she enjoys, encourage her to do her own stuff more often - and then use that time for yourself for United, BigSoccer, etc.

I used to go EVERY weekend to the Lucky Bar in DC to watch the United matches. It's easy when you're single. It's an hour there and 1 hour back, add in some pre and post beer and chat, and it's the whole day quite easily. I now go once or twice a month and watch more on PPV or FSC as a compromise. But I do make a point to make it to the bigger matches, cups, etc. and my wife is open to scheduling around these events. This is a HUGE benfit and one of the reasons why she's my wife and not an ex-GF, etc.

[Dark Savante]

lol indeed, let's wait for her to show up and splain herself. *Saph


Agree about the sacrifice, but how do you balance it? Did you reach an agreement or do you react to discontentment?

My time watching Utd is one thing my GF doesn't mind, but this site, and other games, she sees as an insult if I use/watch too much. Which I understand perfectly, hence my intended compromise.

[SirManchester]

I pretty much make my gf understand that football is part of my life and I wouldn't be happy without it even if I was with her only. We're both busy all the time, talk to each other maybe twice three times a week, and see each other once a month. I try to get her into the game and United as much as I can but she just won't understand, but I'm determined to get her to know it.

[Dark Savante]

Seriously though"

If she loves you, it's up to her to make it work with you, just as much as you need to sacrifice some things for her. I mean, we have maybe 3 match days a week at the most (give or take 1 or 2 with reserve/youth teams, etc.) It's not like United is 24/7 (as much as it could be if you let it) Use some common sense and judgement, try to include her in things that interest you - not just United. If she doesn't care, find out what she enjoys, encourage her to do her own stuff more often - and then use that time for yourself for United, BigSoccer, etc.
Kinda answered that in post 5. We're not on the rocks or anything, lol. Just something she's mentioned once or twice now, which she hasn't done before. It's me making 'positive' moves or taking affirmative action.

Does your other half not mind you watching sport, or outside of United do you not watch much?

[Vermont Red]

My time watching Utd is one thing my GF doesn't mind, but this site, and other games, she sees as an insult if I use/watch too much. Which I understand perfectly, hence my intended compromise.

You may not want to hear this, but you could use your current porn time for BigSoccer and other games. As for how to make up the porn time, I can't help you.

[Motterman]

Agree about the sacrifice, but how do you balance it? Did you reach an agreement or do you react to discontentment?

My time watching Utd is one thing my GF doesn't mind, but this site, and other games, she sees as an insult if I use/watch too much. Which I understand perfectly, hence my intended compromise.

You need to discuss this with her. Odds are that she's already been on your ass about it, that's why your making these sudden changes to placate her. Go with that a few days, do some special stuff with her for awhile, show her how much she means to you.... After a week or so, open a dialogue about it to see how she is feeling about it.

I'll tell you though, I don't watch nearly as mush Spanish/Italian/German footy as I used to or would like to now. I save most of my "credits" for Manchester United and for the US National Team. Yeah, I can't name more than 5 players on Juventus off the top of my head anymore, but who cares about Juventus anyways, right? :p

[Dark Savante]

lol, we're all posting at the same time here :)

It's like a magic eye.

Answering each others posts in an unorthadox sequence. lol.

Motter, lol@ soccer credits. I think i'll need some of those soon!!

[Dark Savante]

You may not want to hear this, but you could use your current porn time for BigSoccer and other games. As for how to make up the porn time, I can't help you.
LOL. Stay tuned for another thread. ;)

hahah

[Motterman]

Kinda answered that in post 5. We're not on the rocks or anything, lol. Just something she's mentioned once or twice now, which she hasn't done before. It's me making 'positive' moves or taking affirmative action.

Does your other half not mind you watching sport, or outside of United do you not watch much?

Ah... understood about your first point.

My wife loves hockey. I kinda dig it. We're helped that we both don't really like baseball or professional basketball all that much. I watch a little college basketball occasionally, but I'm not mad for it. She doesn't like American football all that much, but she puts up with that, although I don't watch much of that other than the local college and pro teams...

I kinda already cover my soccer viewing in a previous post...

[Vermont Red]

I think Motter and I are saying the same thing, save your credits for what you really want. Most of the "nice to have" goes away.

[Dark Savante]

Tis indeed wierd. I need to say my sorries now...there's a month of footy and hermitism (i hope that's a word) to come in June/July :D

Interesting insights into married life there Motter and VR. ;)

It'll be hard giving up some footy, but it is for the best in the end.

[SirManchester]

I dont think I'll be able to sacrifice all the football I get to watch now for a woman now or in the future. It's been an integral part of my life so far, I mean I blew off my gf numerous times for Bolton, Feyenoord, Fiorentina, and Lyon games.

[Vermont Red]

It'll be hard giving up some footy, but it is for the best in the end.

Be ready for that to stop once you're married.

[Motterman]

Motter, lol@ soccer credits. I think i'll need some of those soon!!

Heh... it's actually not that hard if you talk it over and make some decisions about what's really important to you and to her. You'll work out a compromise and everybody will be happy. It's not rocket science.

As for soccer credits... LOL! Yeah, it kinda works out that way.

If Saturday is Manchester United day, then Friday night and/or part of Sunday is "Jen Time". I will say that getting Achtung to help Mod was REALLY helpful and Jen was happy that I didn't have to spend hours on here after every single game making sure that trolls didn't ruin BigSoccer for everyone. I still do my part, but especially with Billy joining and some of the other help, I don't have that pressure anymore. It's made me happier to, as my life is more full now than before, and I'm no less a fan or supporter now than I was last year...

[Motterman]

Tis indeed wierd. I need to say my sorries now...there's a month of footy and hermitism (i hope that's a word) to come in June/July :D

My wife has never experienced World Cup with me... Now I kinda I wish I had her sign that pre-nup after all. :p

[Dark Savante]

I dont think I'll be able to sacrifice all the football I get to watch now for a woman now or in the future. It's been an integral part of my life so far, I mean I blew off my gf numerous times for Bolton, Feyenoord, Fiorentina, and Lyon games.
There's a big diff between girls you don't care for and one you'll settle down with. You'll find that some things change then, if they didn't it'd mean you don't really care for her. If my GF was a 'throwaway' I'd not change any of my ways, but because she's not, compromise will definitely be a, or the right move.

Motter's compromise credits works well. lolol.

[Dark Savante]

My wife has never experienced World Cup with me... Now I kinda I wish I had her sign that pre-nup after all. :p
LOL, well the last WC my GF wouldn't have noticed cos it was all 6-8am games here and she was unconcious or getting ready for work most of that time, but this time around it's all peak time so that's going to be real tricky. I may take her on holiday before hand to appease her before I lock myself away. LOL

Imagine gollum...the remote will be my precious..