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jjayg
26 Jul 2002, 12:31 PM
Death to Smoochy

joseph pakovits
26 Jul 2002, 12:55 PM
Battlefield Earth?

Ishtar?

Almost anything by Ed Wood?

jmh30
26 Jul 2002, 01:06 PM
Santa With Muscles.

nicodemus
26 Jul 2002, 01:15 PM
I have a few suggestions:

"Chocolat" the one with Johnny Depp and Juliette Binoche. What a sleeper that was. It was infuriating though because so many people told me how great it was. Well it wasn't great, it was terrible, and insufferably long. I try to finish every movie I start, and I finished this one, but it took me 5 days because it was so bad.

"Taste of Cherry" is an Iranian film that won big at Cannes a few years ago. Having seen some great Iranian films, I was excited to see this. It was, and I kid you not, two hours of a guy driving around a landfill outside of Tehran trying to find a vagrant that would bury him after he kills himself. Sometimes there would be five or six minute aerial shots of this guy driving his landcruiser. It would be completely silent except for the tires on the dirt. Some might call that deep, but it was boring beyond belief for a movie that could have had so much depth.

Ed Wood movies are so bad, they are almost good, especially when seen through the eyes of Mystery Science Theatre.

The reason I bash to two above so much is that they were hailed as "great cinema."

GringoTex
26 Jul 2002, 01:41 PM
Originally posted by nicodemus
I have a few suggestions:

"Chocolat"


Agreed.



"Taste of Cherry"


One of the five greatest Iranian films ever.

I would like to add to the worst list:

Anything by Oliver Stone

Kickeroo
26 Jul 2002, 01:56 PM
My vote:

Eraserhead, directed by David" what do mean, you don't get it" Lynch.

What a bore.

nicodemus
26 Jul 2002, 02:09 PM
Originally posted by GringoTex

One of the five greatest Iranian films ever.



That movie isn't a tenth of the movie that "Leila" was for instance. Please tell me what you found so redeeming about "Taste of Cherry."

GringoTex
26 Jul 2002, 02:17 PM
Originally posted by nicodemus


That movie isn't a tenth of the movie that "Leila" was for instance. Please tell me what you found so redeeming about "Taste of Cherry."



Jonathon Rosenbaum, our best critic on Kiarostami, can explain it a lot better than I:

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/click/movie-1085459/reviews.php?critic=columns&sortby=default&page=3&rid=105814

I liked Leila, too.

spejic
26 Jul 2002, 02:24 PM
> Anything by Oliver Stone

The Untouchables was a pretty good popcorn action flic, and of course Natual Born Killers was just awesome.

The worst movie every was "Shock Treatment", the supposed sequal to the terrible "Rocky Horror Picture Show". It is used by Osama Bin Laden to show martyrs what their deaths will destroy. Its stink fills the room in which it is placed. It will rot the wood of the shelf it is placed apon. It emits an aura so evil it takes a team of Catholic priests to control it. It produces boredom so great one viewing will kill 10 French post-modern philosophers. Any VCR used to play it becomes corrupt. Any eye used to see it becomes blind. Any mind used to understand it becomes retarded. And the new actor that plays "Brad" is rather stiff.

whirlwind
26 Jul 2002, 02:34 PM
Originally posted by spejic
[BThe worst movie every was "Shock Treatment", the supposed sequal to the terrible "Rocky Horror Picture Show"...(snip) It emits an aura so evil it takes a team of Catholic priests to control it. [/B]

Actually, the priests couldn't control it, but they did bribe it to keep quiet and not go to the police.

skipshady
26 Jul 2002, 02:35 PM
Originally posted by nicodemus
I have a few suggestions:

"Chocolat" the one with Johnny Depp and Juliette Binoche. What a sleeper that was. It was infuriating though because so many people told me how great it was. Well it wasn't great, it was terrible, and insufferably long. I try to finish every movie I start, and I finished this one, but it took me 5 days because it was so bad.Do your friends work in Miramax's PR deparment? :)

nicodemus
26 Jul 2002, 02:39 PM
Originally posted by skipshady
Do your friends work in Miramax's PR deparment? :)

No I made the mistake of listening to people that I wasn't really friends with (I'm not friends with the folks at Miramax either though :) ) Sometimes when people are just so emphatic about something, you figure its worth a shot. Needless to say, I don't pay attention to what those people say anymore.

nicodemus
26 Jul 2002, 02:43 PM
Originally posted by GringoTex




Jonathon Rosenbaum, our best critic on Kiarostami, can explain it a lot better than I:

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/click/movie-1085459/reviews.php?critic=columns&sortby=default&page=3&rid=105814

I liked Leila, too.

I'm all about "new cinematic language" and all that good stuff, but that one just didn't do it for me. I love Tarkovsky and others he mentioned as ground breakers. Musically, I love John Cage, Iannis Xenakis, Tuur, Tan Dun and everyone else turning music upside down and I love visual artists that paint weird crap, so I certainly don't have an issue with stepping out and doing something new. I think I was so bored with the movie because it was almost awesome. I liked a lot of Rosenbaum had to say, I just don't think Kiarostami achieved it.

Dante
26 Jul 2002, 02:44 PM
Anything by Woody Allen.

Also, any of those stupid teen movies.

Northside Rovers
26 Jul 2002, 02:48 PM
Originally posted by GringoTex
Anything by Oliver Stone

Yeah. Platoon really sucked.

How about Highlander 2?

nicodemus
26 Jul 2002, 02:52 PM
Titanic

Pearl Harbor

and any movie where weather is the main character.

Vampeta
26 Jul 2002, 03:15 PM
C'mon folks, "Chocolat" can't hold a candle
to the sheer awfulness of:

'Manos the Hands of Fate'
'Santa Claus vs. the Martians'
'Robot Monster'
Many Arch Hall, Jr. Movies.
Many Hal Needham flicks.
Ed Wood Jr.

B1
26 Jul 2002, 03:24 PM
Moving with Richard Pryor

Waking Life by Richard Linklatter. I'm a fan of his films, however, this one was just unwatchable. Terrible film, so boring.

Battlefield Earth- someone else mentioned this as well. I loved the book, but stopped watching this film 20 minutes into it.


While most campy monster films are bad, at least they're watchable. Eight Legged Freaks falls into that bad but enjoyable. I don't find those films awful, because they are supposed to be.

otterulz
26 Jul 2002, 03:28 PM
All Bat-Man's except for the first.
Stigmata was pretty terrible.
Star Wars: Episode 1
The Thin Red Line
And I'm sure there are a lot more I can think of.

GringoTex
26 Jul 2002, 03:29 PM
Originally posted by nicodemus
Titanic


Titanic was great if you didn't pay attention to what anybody was saying.

Other worst movies:

Anything by Jeunet, especially "Amelie" which is a French film for Americans who hate French films.