What is the worst movie ever?

[bungadiri]

Originally posted by honeychile
Hands down, the worst movie is the home-video that your friends make of their baby being born, and then force you to watch it.

The last time I was given the "opportunity" to see my friends' baby being born, I told them that I wasn't watching any more birth movies unless I get to see the conception tape first.

This post and the discussion following remind me of a film I saw as an undergrad, called "Window, Water, Baby Moving" (shown to us by no less than Jonas Mekas, who was a guest lecturer). This short is a classic of the cinema veritae school, and consists of playful, home-movie-esque footage of a naked young pregnant woman in a bath tub (a round zinc one) who eventually gives (home) birth, all on film. The filmaker does cool stuff like play with the afterbirth, etc. It was made (I think) in late fifties and had people in the art houses passing out in the aisles. Probably not the worst film ever made (I recall being fascinated, but then at that time I'd not yet done the Lamaze thing), but Mekas described a film made by another practitioner of cinema veritae (sorry, don't remember the name) who put his toddler son in front of a camera with a ball and let whatever happened happen. Apparently the kid just crawled off. Interesting to talk about, but probably not much fun to watch.

[bungadiri]

Originally posted by BallStateMiddie
Some of you people and your picks for worst movie ever amaze me. As for me and my house, the only movie I ever walked out of was "City Hall", which unfortunately had Pacino, Cusack, and even Martin Landeau and Danny Aiello supporting.
My wife and I were stuck watching this piece of crap to the end, because we were with people who thought it was "great, really powerful" and actually teared up during Pacino's funeral speech.

Which reminds me:

All That Jazz (have I got the title right? it's the one about Bob Fosse)

[fiddlestick]

Space Camp
Iron Eagle 2
Flash Gordon (minus the Queen soundtrack, it's worthless)
Anything with Ellen Degeneres in it
Big Top Pee Wee
The Air Up There
Earth Girls Are Easy

Jesus there are some bad movies out there.

[DoctorJones24]

Return to Salem's Lot is the only movie I've every walked out of...and it was way back in HS. Went to a matinee with some friends, and about 45 minutes in, we somehow collectively decided to stop wasting out time. And believe me, our time was NOT worth much!

[CG]

The WORST movie ever: Messenger. About a guy who gets his bike stolen and spends the whole movie looking for it(kind of important since he is a bike messenger). It so bad that imdb.com doesn't even have a synopsis of it. The tag line is:For them all that stood between dignity and despair was a bicycle.


http://us.imdb.com/Details?0110498


Also: Robin Hood Men in Tights(only movie I've ever even considered walking out of the theatre on)

[Daniel from Montréal]

Originally posted by pvan4
The WORST movie ever: Messenger. About a guy who gets his bike stolen and spends the whole movie looking for it(kind of important since he is a bike messenger). It so bad that imdb.com doesn't even have a synopsis of it. The tag line is:For them all that stood between dignity and despair was a bicycle.


http://us.imdb.com/Details?0110498

As a reference, this seems like a modern version of "The Bicycle Thief", a landmark movie and general classic in Italian neorealism from 1948.

http://us.imdb.com/Title?0040522

[CrewStadium227]

Originally posted by evilcrossbar
The Postman

....


Aliens Resurrection- Was that what it was called? It sucked so bad I erased it from my memory.



The Postman was based on a really great book. Too bad the botched the movie so badly.

I haven't seen Alien Resurrection. That's the 4th Alien movie. In my book, the third Alien movie was already high on the list of all-time stinkers (perhaps #1). It did such a thorough job a trashing a great franchise that I didn't bother to see the fourth one.

[jmh30]

I still vote for Santa With Muscles.

[Daksims]

G.I. Jane - I'm not sure it's the worst movie ever made, but I sure hate it the most. I left BUD/S a couple of weeks before Demi came to visit. I was hoping for an semi-accurate depiction since they took the trouble to visit. I was totally wrong. I walked out of the movie about three-quarters of the way through.

Off the subject, I heard a funny story about when Demi visited BUD/S from one of my friends who made it through. One of the BUD/S classes (don't remember which one, it was somewhere from 205-210) was doing PT on the grinder while Demi was observing. They were in the middle of an exercise called "Good Morning, Darlings" where you sit on your butt with your back off the ground and your legs elevated and from there you open your legs and close them. Some background before I go further - Due to extreme chafing, SEALs for the most part do not wear underwear. They freeball it. Well, the instructor is up on the podium leading the evolution in these tight tan extremely short shorts (there was a name for them but I forget what they're called) and his ballsack falls out. He just grins at Demi and just keeps going with his ballsack hanging out the whole time. I would have paid to see Demi's reaction. Anyway, I thought it was hilarious.

[irishFS1921]

Stealth Fighter- Ice-T wrote and produced this debacle of a film. probably the worst thing i have ever seen. however there is a scene where two men one looking like sadaam hussien sells three M-16's to a man looking like Billy Joel and they are subsequintly blown up by Ice-T with a sidewinder missile. i cried i was laughing so hard. but every other minute i felt like i was dying.

[fiddlestick]

I can't believe no one has mentioned that absolute disaster Pele was in "Hotshot." That was abyssmal.

[DoctorJones24]

Caught the first 20 minutes of "Reindeer Games" on tv last night.

"And a new contestant enters the arena!"

[otterulz]

The Air Up There starring Kevin Bacon and some tall guy from Africa.

[Smiley321]

As far as David Lynch goes, "The Elephant Man" and "Blue Velvet" were two great movies.

However, his version of "Dune" qualifies as one of the top stinkers (just in being such a huge disappointment) I'd read the book and still found it hard to follow the movie

"Popeye" is my most memorable awful comedy, one of the few times I walked out of the theater early. I still have a grudge against Robin Williams for that one. I waited 45 minutes for something funny, but after 15 I knew it wasn't coming

Also, a stupid Disney rip-off of Star Wars called "The Black Hole" was as pathetic as they come.

These stand out because they had plenty of budget, stars and had aspirations, yet they stunk on ice.

[Doctor Stamen]

I thought the much maligned Waterworld wasn't that bad, but that isn't the point of this thread.

As far as Big budget films go, Titanic stinks of gold plated poo. I may have nominated this already, but to spend so much money, and have Kate Winslet in (for looks alone), the product should be better. They even had Celine Dion doing the song !!!.

Pearl Harbour may be worse, but I haven't seen it. Nor Enemy at the Gates, which is a love story set in Stalingrad I believe (please correct me if I'm wrong). If I am right, it sounds like a Mel Brooks movie, but without the humour.

But you have to see Ator:Fighting Eagle, it's so bad it's painful to watch.

P.S. The Black Hole was shite, and it can disappear up Walt's.................;).

[DoctorJones24]

Originally posted by Doctor Stamen
I thought the much maligned Waterworld wasn't that bad.


Amen

[Chris_Bailey]

I can't believe noone in here has mentioned the all time shittiest film you could ever sit 90 minutes for:


"Bug Buster"



Just watch, really drunk or something...

[hangthadj]

Con Air without a doubt, don't know what possesed me to see it.
Also, The River Wild

[Smiley321]

If you're looking for a lousy movie that's hilarious, "The Incredible Melting Man" ranks up there with Plan 9. The jokes write themselves, you can watch it with friends and everyone will be a comedian.

[phats_away]

frogs
i hate b scifi movies, got dragged into it, and it sucked
it wasn't even funny bad
just bad