What is the worst movie ever?

[Ghost]

Gringo,

Read the Rosenbaum review. Interesting. To prove how big a geek I really am, in addition to belonging to an American soccer message board, i also write amateur film reviews on another site. Strangely, I wrote a review of Lord of the Rings where the central principle was precisely that the film, particularly the CGI effects, left nothing to the imagination, resulting in a creative experience that didn't involve the input of the viewer. I believe I compared it to a Soviet propaganda film, dictating to the viewer rather than inviting him to participate.

The problems I had with Taste of Cherry weren't so much the cinematic language as the fact that I found the examination of suicide and suicidal thoughts to be simmplistic, overemotional and underthought. That's been my general perception of Iranian film. The filmmakers seem to be devout humanists, and that can rub you the right way or the wrong way.

On topic -- Batman Forever. Considering that they could waste a ton of film on shooting a scenes 50-60 times, are those really the best line readings Alicia Silverstone could possibly give? ... I'm afraid so.

[evilcrossbar]

I can't believe people complain about "The Thin Red Line" and don't mention Kevin Costner:

The Postman
Water World - Hell even Tank Girl was better than this one.
Actually any thing he's done apart from Bull Durham and that one about the Cuban Missile Crisis.



Anaconda - not even cheesy funny like Ed Wood's movies.

Aliens Resurrection- Was that what it was called? It sucked so bad I erased it from my memory.

The New Jason in Space crap - and I can write this without having seen it!

Though I shouldn't speak ill of the dead, that vampire flick with that Aliyah chick is unmentionable.






BUT, (drumroll please) the WORST MOVIE EVER:

"The Stupids" (Tom Arnold) - Jeesus this was atrocious, there's nothing worse that a comedy that's so bad it makes you want to punch the person sitting next to you for having rented the damn thing.

[spejic]

> Except Stone didn't direct it. Brian DePalma did.

My mistake. For some reason, I have Untouchables and Wall Street permanently connected in my head. No, I did not like Wall Street (Trading Places being a far more realistic portrail of the prople who run financial organizations). But I stand by NBK.

> Khansingh's list

Dude, you have no business on this thread. It is about bad movies, not you trying to impress us by not liking popular movies.

[Dolemite]

oh yeah there's this piece of dung sci fi movie from the late 70s/early 80s called Liquid Sky. if you ever see this movie in a rental place kick the manager in the teeth.

[Unorthodox Yank]

Originally posted by Dante
Anything by Woody Allen.





ummm.... no.

[Dolemite]

Originally posted by Unorthodox Yank




ummm.... no.


even despite your liking leno, i'd have to agree that woody allen has made many great films. and some not so great.

[otterulz]

Originally posted by oman


It has been proven on various threads in this section that only retards dislike The Thin Red Line.

Yeah, who would've expected action in a war movie. Why didn't I expect a slow, boring dialogue like in the Thin Red Line? Oh well, I guess a "retard" like me just can't understand such a smart, deep film like this.

[Ghost]

Originally posted by otterulz


Yeah, who would've expected action in a war movie.

Believing it's a war movie is your first mistake.

[Unorthodox Yank]

Originally posted by Dolemite



even despite your liking leno, i'd have to agree that woody allen has made many great films. and some not so great.

taht is true, but i sont think ANYTHIGN by him qualifies as the worst movie ever.


I LOVE sleeper.

[otterulz]

How bout The Lost World and Jurassic Park 3?

[kenntomasch]

Originally posted by spejic
But I stand by NBK.

As being brilliant, right (I thought that's what you said, but I'm too lazy to go back and check). I'm with you on that. F'd up, but brilliant film. And Wall Street was worthwhile if only for Douglas' speech to the stockholders. A lot of the rest of it was worthless.

As for Travolta's films of the 90's, I thought "Michael" was actually well done. I wouldn't give it an award or anything, but I enjoyed it and thought he did a nice job in that.

[Parkhead_Faithful]

Originally posted by otterulz
How bout The Lost World

If only they had stuck more closely to the book it would have been a classic!

Mine Would have to be Zardoz, an early 70's piece of crap with Sean Connery and a giant flying stone head, only worth watching for the copious amounts of female nudity, inc Charlotte Rampling when she was young and gorgeous.

[evilcrossbar]

Yeah, Zardoz was total crap.

It was almost as bad as "Attack of the killer Tomatoes" (they even made a sequel). It was shite. I know it was supposed to be somewhat of a joke and it was shot on a tiny budget.

But, it wasn't funny like a Monty Python movie, or even MST gross a la "The Toxic Avenger" it just sucked.

[bungadiri]

I’ll see your “Eraserhead” and raise it to “anything by David Lynch”. Every time I watch one the guy’s movies I can feel him breathing down the back of my neck. Plus it pisses me off that he can't imagine a woman who doesn't enjoy her pain mingled with a little sex.

Originally posted by Ghost
...I wrote a review of Lord of the Rings where the central principle was precisely that the film, particularly the CGI effects, left nothing to the imagination, resulting in a creative experience that didn't involve the input of the viewer. I believe I compared it to a Soviet propaganda film, dictating to the viewer rather than inviting him to participate.
I disagree. The special effects are well done without being overpowering. The real landscapes of New Zealand made a much stronger impression on me than the CGI stuff, which seemed serviceable enough not to dismay (by being hokey) but nowhere near as dictatorial as you suggest. As someone who’s lived with his own ideas/images from the book for a long time, I thought the strongest parts of the film were the performances, which were inflected in surprising and enjoyable ways (for example, Gandalf showed flashes of temptation, doubt, and fear that made his struggle against the power of the ring very affecting).

QUOTE]Originally posted by Ghost
On topic -- Batman Forever. Considering that they could waste a ton of film on shooting a scenes 50-60 times, are those really the best line readings Alicia Silverstone could possibly give? ... I'm afraid so. [/QUOTE]
NOBODY was good in this film. The director seemed to think he was the only person to whom it's occurred that Batman and Robin might be the original ambiguously gay duo. The women were there to satisfy the investors, apparently.

[DoctorJones24]

Originally posted by Ghost
Gringo,

Read the Rosenbaum review. Interesting. To prove how big a geek I really am, in addition to belonging to an American soccer message board, i also write amateur film reviews on another site. Strangely, I wrote a review of Lord of the Rings where the central principle was precisely that the film, particularly the CGI effects, left nothing to the imagination, resulting in a creative experience that didn't involve the input of the viewer. I believe I compared it to a Soviet propaganda film, dictating to the viewer rather than inviting him to participate.



I only became hip to Rosenbaum in the last year or so, based on comments from Gringo and Dr. Wankler, and I've continued to read him ever since. However, Rosenbaum is fascinating to read and a great writer, but next to useless as a judge of film quality. He takes his own narrow agenda and views every film through that prism. It is an interesting writing challenge to try to blend the two very distinct genres of academic film criticism and movie reviewing; but ultimately it remains just that: an interesting experiment.

By the way, it's funny how this thread quickly jumped from "worst movie ever" to "best movie to slam so that I can sound intellectual." So we end up with Chocolat, Amelie, LOTR, all Woody Allen and Oliver Stone, Crouching Tiger, even Titanic. Sure, any one of these movies may be personally insulting to a given viewer for very specific and individual reasons, (and I suppose that is the type of rhetoric that is natural to internet message boards: me, me, me, me, me, me, me!) but claiming any of them are the "worst ever" is hyperbole of a tall order.

I guess that is only to be expected, since most of the movies that could really challenge for this title are straight to video shlock. So it's not much fun to say, "Howling V" is the worst movie ever, when noone will have any reference for it. Either that, or the thread would have ended as soon as someone brought up, "3000 Miles to Graceland," at which point we would have just declared a winner and gone home.

In any case, Ghost, I think your use of the word "strange" to describe your analysis of LOTR was right on. ;) To me, you way overstate the impact of CGI effects on the (lack of) imagination. The whole world of Middle Earth that the film inhabits represents a major task for the viewer's imagnination to engage and fill in the million blank spots of detail, from the cultural backgrounds of the various races to the off-screen stuff that is always just outside the frame of the camera lens. According to your logic, "The Blair Witch Project" would pretty much represent the height of film making, no? Actually, an extreme form of your argument would seem to suggest that films should not even be made, as they all naturally provide an image instead of forcing the viewer to create for him/herself. This is not a new critique of the medium; nor does it gibe with any of the many studies in the active role viewers play in responding to image-texts.

[otterulz]

Originally posted by bungadiri

NOBODY was good in this film. The director seemed to think he was the only person to whom it's occurred that Batman and Robin might be the original ambiguously gay duo. The women were there to satisfy the investors, apparently.

The old dude who plays Alfred seems to get the job done in each and every single Bat-Man movie. He portrays the old English butler role very well.

[DoctorJones24]

Originally posted by bungadiri
I’ll see your “Eraserhead” and raise it to “anything by David Lynch”. Every time I watch one the guy’s movies I can feel him breathing down the back of my neck. Plus it pisses me off that he can't imagine a woman who doesn't enjoy her pain mingled with a little sex.



Check out "The Straight Story" before you write him off entirely. I've never been a Lynch fan, but this one blew me away.

As for the 4th Batman movie, I can't believe so many people somehow missed EVERY critic and EVERY "friend who'd seen it already and must therefore have hated it," telling them to stay away. Don't you folks have trusty "crap filters?" With ticket/popcorn prices going through the roofs, these are a must. My brother, as a comics collector, saw it early in its run, and declared, "It's now one of my goals in life to stop as many people from seeing that movie as I can." That was enough for me.

[oman]

I snoozed in The Straight Story.

Lynch's Blue Velvet was one of the greatest surprises in movie's I'd ever seen. I can't believe anyone couldn't have been giddy while watching this the first time. Masterful use of color. Masterful juxtoposition of horror and comedy. And just too XXXXing weird.

I'm also a big fan of the style of Dune, although I probably like it more just because Lynch was just the wrong guy to make a big studio picture.

The first 10 or so episodes of Twin Peaks are simply as good as any TV ever. Ever.

Sure, Eraserhead is somewhat "film schoolish", but Lynch has creepy down.

As weird as Lynch's stuff is, he always has a scene or two that justifies the cost of admission. And that keeps him out of the "worst movies" category by far.

[topcow]

Originally posted by Khansingh

Shakespeare in Love



What? why? I liked it.

maybe you said it out of spite, like if I would to claim "Orgazmo" is the worst movie ever made.

But I am not going to, the worst movie ever made is most likely made my Joel Shitmacher.

[obie]

"Anything by Oliver Stone / Woody Allen / David Lynch" is such a tired form of trolling that it's not even worth defending anymore.