Random Funny Stuff

[jayro75]

i thought this was a laugh riot...

THE REAL DEALS
Wayne Rooney will be Real Madrid's big summer target if Fernando Martin holds on to power at the Bernabeu, according to The Sun. Martin is apparently 'desperate' to appease the club's angry fans, and we all know that Madrid tend to appease their angry fans with the tried and tested technique of buying anything that moves.

From foxsoccer.com

[Toon³]

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a384/BrianGrummert/redvsblue4.jpg

[MtP07]

http://www.onlinegooner.com/images/goonGall/2005_05_laugh_03.jpg

[Teso Dos Bichos]

Must spread, but a genuine 'LOL' moment. :D

[jayro75]

Didn't know where else to stick this...


Vieira chosen as Couric's ‘Today’ successor

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12185893/?GT1=7938

Proves once and for all he's a little bitch...:D

[MtP07]

http://srdoran.com/myspace/26721100636.gif

[Howard Zinn]

REPPED!!! Holy shit, that is funny!! :p :p


I smell a new avatar for you. ;)

[Sapphire]

Vieira chosen as Couric's ‘Today’ successor
I saw that crawl on CNN the other day at the gym, and I was REALLY confused for an embarrassingly long time before I realized.

[Kavster]

http://srdoran.com/myspace/26721100636.gif
http://www.politika.be/forum/images/smilies/extra/comfort.gif

[prymetyme]

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b47/sammyallen049/Snakesonaplane1js.jpg

[prymetyme]

http://www.bigsoccer.com/forum/showthread.php?t=337375

http://www.bigsoccer.com/forum/showthread.php?t=336941


haha

[gazza]

Theived from another board.

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.


ATTORNEY:
What is your date of birth?

WITNESS:
July 18th.

ATTORNEY:
What year?

WITNESS:
Every year.




* * * * *



ATTORNEY:
What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS:
Gucci sweats and Reeboks.




* * * * *



ATTORNEY:
The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS:
Uh, he's twenty-one.




* * * * *



ATTORNEY:
This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS:
Yes.

ATTORNEY:
And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS:
I forget.

ATTORNEY:
You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?




* * * * *



ATTORNEY:
How old is your son, the one living with you?

WITNESS:
Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

ATTORNEY:
How long has he lived with you?

WITNESS:
Forty-five years.




* * * * *



ATTORNEY:
What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS:
He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

ATTORNEY:
And why did that upset you?

WITNESS:
My name is Susan.




* * * * *





ATTORNEY:
Are you sexually active?

WITNESS:
No, I just lie there.




* * * * *



ATTORNEY:
Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?

WITNESS:
We both do.

ATTORNEY:
Voodoo?

WITNESS:
We do.

ATTORNEY:
You do?

WITNESS:
Yes, voodoo.



* * * * *



ATTORNEY:
Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS:
Did you actually pass the bar exam?




* * * * *



ATTORNEY:
Were you present when your picture was Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS:
Would you repeat the question?




* * * * *



ATTORNEY:
So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS:
Yes.

ATTORNEY:
And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS:
Uh....




* * * * *



ATTORNEY:
She had three children, right?

WITNESS:
Yes.

ATTORNEY:
How many were boys?

WITNESS:
None.

ATTORNEY:
Were there any girls?




* * * * *



ATTORNEY:
How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS:
By death.

ATTORNEY:
And by whose death was it terminated?




* * * * *



ATTORNEY:
Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS:
He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY:
Was this a male or a female?




* * * * *



ATTORNEY:
Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS:
No, this is how I dress when I go to work.




* * * * *



ATTORNEY:
Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead
people?

WITNESS:
All my autopsies are performed on dead people.




* * * * *



ATTORNEY:
ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS:
Oral.




* * * * *



ATTORNEY:
Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS:
The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY:
And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS:
No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!




* * * * *



ATTORNEY:
Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS:
Huh?




* * * * *



ATTORNEY:
Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS:
No.

ATTORNEY:
Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS:
No.

ATTORNEY:
Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS:
No.

ATTORNEY:
So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS:
No.

ATTORNEY:
How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS:
Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY:
But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS:
Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

[billyireland]

So I'm sitting here watching Soccer A.M. when they do the '3rd Eye' feature (possibly the best single minute or two of TV on any given week). Basically what '3rd Eye' is, is when viewers spot some really weird/funny stuff and email the show about it, who then show the clip. Anyway, on Sky Sports News when they were reporting the fire at Old Trafford, when they returned to the studios one of the presenters had a donut (or some kind of pastry) on his desk in full view, and slowly moves his hand to cover it liek a child in a classroom. It might be one of those 'hadve to see it' things, but it was abolustely gas... if you get the chance to watch Soccer AM this week... DO! :D

They also showed Fergie getting a 'look' at Clare Tomlinson as she walked by the dugout. Pretty funny stuff.

[MtP07]

Barry Bonds' rookie card...

http://content.collegehumor.com/items/2006/04/collegehumor.1681949.451xAUTO.jpg

[Rakim_22]

Barry Bonds' rookie card...

http://content.collegehumor.com/items/2006/04/collegehumor.1681949.451xAUTO.jpg
Thats wrong on so many levels.

[Teso Dos Bichos]

:d :d

[Dark Savante]

Chelsea match! Oh BABY!

In 12 days its Manchester United for Chelsea!
Filho de ********, vai para caralho I just realized why that tie to Sutherland was so crucial......
If we had won that game and win against Chelsea....oh baby!

Rogersportsnet better show that game...or else I am going to get violent.

Does anyone have the matching tubetop to those panties? I can't put my new Black Seleccao Jersey on my skin;)


Sutherland?


Hey man, leave him be. He's getting his underwear all laid out, looking for that tight tank top. Prolly getting ready to watch a little tv. :hint:freudianslip:hint:


I got interupted...I am now listening to my father vocally abuse my brother. I wonder how come he doesnt hit him like he did to me....?


Your brother doesn't wear thongs with Ronaldo's pic on them??


well then, no wonder we couldn't win, we were up against Jack Bauer himself.

Based on true events.

Names not altered to protect the innocent. :D

[Howard Zinn]

Based on true events.

Names not altered to protect the innocent. :D


REPPED. :p

[Teso Dos Bichos]

http://img507.imageshack.us/img507/7637/41570234shearer203x2706yw.jpg

Sorry Toon...

[Republic of Mancunia]

A free game of strip poker. http://fun.bowmans.com/poker/ (NWS and 18+, obviously)