20 Things You Didn't Know About Pascal Cygan

[nafi16]

I dunno if anyone's seen this but it's friggin' hilarious!

1. Pascal Cygan once killed a man. Twice.

2. Muhammed-Ali used to say ‘I’m the Greatest.’ Then he met Pascal Cygan.

3. Pascal Cygan wrestles bears in his spare time, which is why they are an endangered species.

4. One Portuguese world class prospect: £12.25m
One Central defender playing out of position: £2.5m
Watching Pascal Cygan make Cronaldo his bitch: Priceless.

5. Hair has never grown on Pascal Cygan’s body.

6. OJ Simpson only hired Johnnie Cochran because Pascal Cygan was busy.

7. When the leader of the opposition demanded to know how the government planned to fully equip the armed forces following budget cuts, Tony Blair responded by hiring Pascal Cygan.

8. Saddam Hussein did not possess WMDs, just virals of Pascal Cygan’s DNA.

9. Jesus’ prized possession was a shroud he found with Pascal Cygan’s image on it.

10. An asteroid didn’t wipe out the dinosaurs. Pascal Cygan did.

11. Pascal Cygan doesn’t need a partner to enter a three legged race.

12. In 1521, the Pope conferred the title of fidei defensor (defender of the faith) on Pascal Cygan. He sent Henry VIII in his place.

13. Pascal Cygan applies for planning permission before having an erection.

14. The sun really does shine out of Pascal Cygan’s arse.

15. Pascal Cygan taught Medusa.

16. Pascal Cygan stopped the Y2K Millennium Bug just by looking at a computer.

17. The Soviet Union honoured the citizens of the Leningrad who survived the 900 day siege by erecting a statue of Pascal Cygan in the city. It remains there to this day.

18. If you ever have a day where you feel the gods are against, just be glad Pascal Cygan isn’t.

19. God prays to Pascal Cygan.

20. The Terminator was too afraid to say, “I’ll be back” to Pascal Cygan.

ALL HAIL THE BEST LEFT BACK IN THE PREMIERSHIP! lol!

[deeplennon]

21. Pascal Cygan likes to wear a mullet wig and make his wife call him Cescgan.

[surfcam]

Pascal Cygan CAN believe it's not butter.

[PsychedelicCeltic]

Pascal Cygan's soul bears the stamp of Peter Storey and Gus Caesar.

[nafi16]

tribute to the cyganator

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a349/nafi7/keeutc.jpg

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a349/nafi7/cygan.jpg

[xdanx]

I can't even joke about Pascal being anything other than the lovable retard we have all seen mature into a bald forest gump.

I threw up a little when I read this:

ALL HAIL THE BEST LEFT BACK IN THE PREMIERSHIP! lol!

[nafi16]

I can't even joke about Pascal being anything other than the lovable retard we have all seen mature into a bald forest gump.

I threw up a little when I read this:

haaha c'mon man loosen up a bit, oh and btw opta's stats say cygan is (or is around) the best left back this season in the premiership ho ho ho! take that heinze xP

[mixmastermatt]

1. PAscal Cygan built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Pascal met all three bullets with his bald shiny head, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

2. Pascal Cygan recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

3. Pascal Cygan once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

4. Pascal Cygan does not sleep. He waits.

5. Pascal Cygan isn't hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Pascal Cygan.

6. When Pascal Cygan has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he as run out women.

7. It is rumoured that Pascal Cygan once lost a fight to a pirate. this is a false rumour created by Pascal Cygan to lure more pirates to him.

8. Pascal Cygan can touch MC Hammer.

9. Pascal Cygan can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

[mad theory]

1. PAscal Cygan built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Pascal met all three bullets with his bald shiny head, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

2. Pascal Cygan recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

3. Pascal Cygan once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

4. Pascal Cygan does not sleep. He waits.

5. Pascal Cygan isn't hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Pascal Cygan.

6. When Pascal Cygan has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he as run out women.

7. It is rumoured that Pascal Cygan once lost a fight to a pirate. this is a false rumour created by Pascal Cygan to lure more pirates to him.

8. Pascal Cygan can touch MC Hammer.

9. Pascal Cygan can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

The dinosaurs looked at Pascal Cygan the wrong way once. ONCE.

[mad theory]

The dinosaurs looked at Pascal Cygan the wrong way once. ONCE.

heh fact generator is fun.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Pascal Cygan allows to live.

In an average football pitch there are 1,242 objects Pascal Cygan could use to kill you, including the pitch itself.

Pascal Cygan played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.

The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Pascal Cygan punched himself in the face.

Pascal Cygan's hair is too afraid of him to grow.

[yossarian]

Chuck Norris is going to be really angry about this thread.

:D

[Darth Norteño]

Vin Diesel doesn't patrol these boards, does he?

[CTGooner]

Chuck Norris is going to be really angry about this thread.

:D

Fact #23: nafi16 can read Chuck Norris as Cygan.

Please be sure to credit all your sources and show all your work.:rolleyes:

[surfcam]

Crop circles arePascal Cygan's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fcuk down.

[Rewinder]

There is no I in team, but there is an I in Pascal Cigan, f*ck you team.

[arsenalgirl30016]

Contrary to popular belief, Cygan can "get jiggy with it" and "get down on it" at the SAME time........

Now that is true talent!

[NSadhu]

Pascal Cygan is really Lex Luthor, billionaire playboy who master-minded his way into an Arsenal shirt just 'cause he could.

Cygan's sh*t doesn't stink.

The one time Cygan smiled, everyone around him died and went to heaven.

[pookspur]

Pascal Cygan uses his foreskin as a chamois when washing the family car - and it's a '74 Chrysler Newport.

[Mailrenegade]

Pascal Cygan once shared a backline with Igors Stepanovs and Oleg Luzhny...at least in my dreams they did!

[Bighorn]

OJ Simpson is still looking for Pascal Cygan.