The Offside Rule Explained For Girls

[Dave_M]

Ok girls it's dead simple:

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop
assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which
you must have.

The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them
with desire.

Both of you have forgotten your purses.

It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had
no money to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop
and sees your dilemma.

She prepares to throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other
shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper
and,*whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper,
catch the purse and buy the shoes.

Always remembering that until the purse had *actually been thrown* it
would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper.

Dear Girls - you have just learned the offside rule. It's that simple

[goonsquad]

Ok girls it's dead simple:

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop
assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which
you must have.

The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them
with desire.

Both of you have forgotten your purses.

It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had
no money to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop
and sees your dilemma.

She prepares to throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other
shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper
and,*whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper,
catch the purse and buy the shoes.

Always remembering that until the purse had *actually been thrown* it
would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper.

Dear Girls - you have just learned the offside rule. It's that simple


Hilarious! Isn't that from a book that explains football to women in more familiar terms? I remember seeing it reviewed somewhere, maybe 442?

[Dave_M]

Hilarious! Isn't that from a book that explains football to women in more familiar terms? I remember seeing it reviewed somewhere, maybe 442?

Quite possibly. Friend of mine emailed me the abovequtoe - he didnt reference the source though *shrug*

[arsenalgirl30016]

Wow thanks Dave but I always thought that it involved sea salt and mustard...... :rolleyes: ;)

[Red Agave]

Most girls I know seem to understand the offside rule just fine. It's the blokes, well more specifically the referees and their assistants, who seem to be ********ing clueless. :p

[billyho96]

Ok girls it's dead simple:

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop
assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which
you must have.

The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them
with desire.

Both of you have forgotten your purses.

It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had
no money to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop
and sees your dilemma.

She prepares to throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other
shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper
and,*whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper,
catch the purse and buy the shoes.

Always remembering that until the purse had *actually been thrown* it
would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper.

Dear Girls - you have just learned the offside rule. It's that simple

Dave, do you need some shoes. I once had an ex-wife that complained of the "shoe flu" which could be cured by buying new shoes.

I'm going to have to precribe one trip to Niketown for you Dave. You may need a follow-up visit the next day.

[Dave_M]

Wow thanks Dave but I always thought that it involved sea salt and mustard


Yeah but without ketchup and pepper you only get half the lesson...

Most girls I know seem to understand the offside rule just fine.


You obviously mix in superior circles than I.


It's the blokes, well more specifically the referees and their assistants, who seem to be ********ing clueless. :p

Touche

[Dave_M]

I'm going to have to precribe one trip to Niketown for you Dave. You may need a follow-up visit the next day.

What are you trying to do kill me!

Never have liked Nike trainers. Too gaudy. Much prefer Reebok - and then its just plan old Reebok Classics. White with a stripe - nice and simple.

But I also know bugger all about fashion soooo :D

[arsenalgirl30016]

[quote=Dave_M]
You obviously mix in superior circles than I.


Yea the superior circle of women that watch football...... :p

[Red Agave]

[quote=Dave_M]
You obviously mix in superior circles than I.


Yea the superior circle of women that watch football...... :p


You tell him girl!:D

[KevTheGooner]

What are you trying to do kill me!

Never have liked Nike trainers. Too gaudy. Much prefer Reebok - and then its just plan old Reebok Classics. White with a stripe - nice and simple.

But I also know bugger all about fashion soooo :D


Sorry Dave, no trainers here. Sneakers or tennis shoes only. ;)

[n4100]

[quote=Dave_M]
You obviously mix in superior circles than I.


Yea the superior circle of women that watch football...... :p
Wait a minute, Dave interacts with women that watch footie...when us Yanks bring our gfs over! He might not know what he's saying to them, but he does talk to'em.

[Dave_M]

[QUOTE=arsenalgirl30016]
Wait a minute, Dave interacts with women that watch footie...when us Yanks bring our gfs over! He might not know what he's saying to them, but he does talk to'em.

I am on a mission to offend ever BS members girlfriends. So far ive managed:

BillyHo
BigHorn
N4100

Gotta catch em all. Then you go for the end of level boss - Rick B's g/f. The prize is no more tickets

I need to get out more :o

[HighburyGoon]

[QUOTE=n4100]

I am on a mission to offend ever BS members girlfriends. So far ive managed:

BillyHo
BigHorn
N4100

Gotta catch em all. Then you go for the end of level boss - Rick B's g/f. The prize is no more tickets

I need to get out more :o

http://img236.imageshack.us/img236/4468/shinobi6wo.jpg

Dave_M is: Goonobi!

[surfcam]

Yeah but without ketchup and pepper you only get half the lesson...


Ketchup, mustard, salt and pepper. What a horrible marinade!;) :D

[surfcam]

[QUOTE=n4100]

I am on a mission to offend ever BS members girlfriends. So far ive managed:

BillyHo
BigHorn
N4100

Gotta catch em all. Then you go for the end of level boss - Rick B's g/f. The prize is no more tickets

I need to get out more :o

You didn't bother Leigh. Of course, after hanging out with Old Street all night, you'd have to do something pretty dramatic! She did give you a weird look though when you went into the second part of "We'll be runnin round Tottenham...":D

[n4100]

[QUOTE=n4100]

I am on a mission to offend ever BS members girlfriends. So far ive managed:

BillyHo
BigHorn
N4100

Gotta catch em all. Then you go for the end of level boss - Rick B's g/f. The prize is no more tickets

I need to get out more :o
You didn't offend Reg, she thought you were hilarious. She wants to come back with me in March, but she doesn't have the money...and I don't have enough to spot her.

[Rashida]

Wow thanks Dave but I always thought that it involved sea salt and mustard...... :rolleyes: ;)

Hahaha!

Repped.
:D

[arsenalgirl30016]

[QUOTE=Dave_M]

You didn't bother Leigh. Of course, after hanging out with Old Street all night, you'd have to do something pretty dramatic! She did give you a weird look though when you went into the second part of "We'll be runnin round Tottenham...":D
And for the record Dave you did not offend me either! :D

[Dave_M]

You didn't bother Leigh.
You didn't offend Reg
And for the record Dave you did not offend me either

I evidently need to try harder. :)

Been a few after match drink ups this year that I have "memory black spots" in, and I always assume to worse. To be honest im actually a little relieved :)

Apparently Antifan is over soon, as is Dan. Im thinking its gonna be another doozy.

Was saying to Rick and Nick after the Boro game that it might be an idea for the British contingent to hit America as some stage in the future....