Foul and Abusive Language

[taocpa]

Yesterday, I refereed a match between two private schools. Both teams are predominantly African-American players. In the 73rd minute, attacking player is kicked in the ankle and tripped by two defenders (I was in position 5 yards from the play). Defenders go absolutely crazy over the call. I immediately book one for dissent. The second defender I call over to talk to about his dissent. The next thing I hear from the second defender, "That n***** (rhymes with digger) has been fouling me the whole game." Mind you, he is African-American, too. I immediately show red. Coach is white, he goes crazy and demands an explanation. I didn't sugarcoat it. I told him word for word what his player said.
He looks at me with a straight face and says, "That's part of their culture." I told him bluntly I won't accept that from anyone no matter their skin color. Game degenerated from there. We finished the game, I heard comments from players saying "You're dead", etc.

Question: Do we accept these things as part of player's culture? I can't imagine we should or would. I emphatically told the assignor I want that red card to stand. I've always red carded this garbage. I won't tolerate it. Or am I being too harsh?

Punch line: Both schools were Christian schools.

Tom

[Wreave]

Unfortunately, some parents put their kids in Christian schools to try to keep them in line because they're having trouble otherwise. Doesn't always work. You usually get the full spectrum of kids at Christian schools just as anywhere else - some good, some bad, most in between.

You were right on with the card and I would have done the same thing. Race aside, there are a lot of cultural groups in the US that speak with language we won't tolerate on the field. Just because a word might be perceived as acceptable to the culture of a particular group, doesn't make that word appropriate when that group is on the field. For example, you could make the argument that the F word is part of the culture of most high school students, but you're still reaching for your pocket when you hear it.

Out in the parking lot, they can call each other whatever they want.

[Ref Flunkie]

Just to be clear, he said that comment to you quietly or he yelled it out loud for all to hear as you were discussing things?

[taocpa]

Ref Flunkie,

He said it loud enough for me to hear and other players on the field. I can't be certain the fans didn't hear him because these schools play in a municipal park where there are no bleachers. The fans are right there where the action is and he was approximately 10-15 yards from the touchline where a group of parents were standing.

Tom

[Gary V]

Just to be clear, he said that comment to you quietly or he yelled it out loud for all to hear as you were discussing things?That has some merit in making a decision in a USSF game, but I presume this was a NFHS game with zero-tolerance rules. Unless the comment could be heard by no one but the player and the ref, he's gone with a red.

Incidentally, in a USSF game he's gone too. He's already getting a caution for the dissent; the comment could be either a second caution or a straight red.

As for the "You're dead" threats mentioned by the OP - Did you act on these? Those players should have been sent off as well.

[gkeck]

Foul and abusive is one thing. Racial Slur is SO much worse. Think about the reaction of players...a "F... You", insulting of the players, or referees mother, yes, they will all get some response...but a racial slur. That can be the start of major riots..not just on the soccer fields.

Do NOT let this go by..you MUST DEAL WITH IT....

And in a Christian School...the AD and principal would probably be talking suspension...expulsion...from school, not just from a soccer game.

[Law5]

That has some merit in making a decision in a USSF game, but I presume this was a NFHS game with zero-tolerance rules. Unless the comment could be heard by no one but the player and the ref, he's gone with a red.

Incidentally, in a USSF game he's gone too. He's already getting a caution for the dissent; the comment could be either a second caution or a straight red.

As for the "You're dead" threats mentioned by the OP - Did you act on these? Those players should have been sent off as well.

Let's be careful about saying that NFHS has a "zero-tolerance" rule about language. Yes, NFHS rules have a red for use of "insulting, offensive or abusive language or gesture." But NFHS also has a yellow for "any incidental use of vulgar or profane language."
That means that the referee has to make a management decision about whether to use a verbal warning, caution or disqualification in a language incident. We/the schools/NFHS want the games played in a manner befitting the educational role of sports in high school. Players are suppose to be called to account for their actions that step over the line of what's acceptable. "That's their culture" is an excuse, frankly, for behavior that is unacceptable in overall American society. Coming from a coach, it tells you, as a referee, that the coach is not one of the adults here, that he's not in tune with the goals and values of high school sports.
Could you have used a yellow here? Yes, as it was not directed to the person. (Spoken to the referee about an opponent is different than saying it to the opponent, since the latter will inflame a situation in a way that is unacceptable, as opposed to using vulgar language.) Would I have given a red or a yellow? Probably red, if only because of the nuclear power of the N word. Would I have gone red if he said "pecker" instead? No. It all comes down to judgment.
"You're dead," however, is extremely bad, however, and needs to be dealt with at a very high level. In our state, it would be cause for a meeting with at least myself, the school principal, athletic director and coach. This must be reported up through the chain of command immediately.

[Alberto]

Yesterday, I refereed a match between two private schools. Both teams are predominantly African-American players. In the 73rd minute, attacking player is kicked in the ankle and tripped by two defenders (I was in position 5 yards from the play). Defenders go absolutely crazy over the call. I immediately book one for dissent. The second defender I call over to talk to about his dissent. The next thing I hear from the second defender, "That n***** (rhymes with digger) has been fouling me the whole game." Mind you, he is African-American, too. I immediately show red. Coach is white, he goes crazy and demands an explanation. I didn't sugarcoat it. I told him word for word what his player said.
He looks at me with a straight face and says, "That's part of their culture." I told him bluntly I won't accept that from anyone no matter their skin color. Game degenerated from there. We finished the game, I heard comments from players saying "You're dead", etc.

Question: Do we accept these things as part of player's culture? I can't imagine we should or would. I emphatically told the assignor I want that red card to stand. I've always red carded this garbage. I won't tolerate it. Or am I being too harsh?

Punch line: Both schools were Christian schools.

Tom

I'm not only troubled by the racial remarks, but more so by the threats. I hope you reported it to the proper authorities. It might have actually been a good idea to have called the police and filed a report. These things must not be allowed to fester.

[Ref Flunkie]

That has some merit in making a decision in a USSF game, but I presume this was a NFHS game with zero-tolerance rules. Unless the comment could be heard by no one but the player and the ref, he's gone with a red.

Incidentally, in a USSF game he's gone too. He's already getting a caution for the dissent; the comment could be either a second caution or a straight red.

As for the "You're dead" threats mentioned by the OP - Did you act on these? Those players should have been sent off as well.

Yeah I'm with ya, and while I understand racial slurs have no part in the game, I have started to learn that you have to understand what is acceptable at certain levels of play.

I am curious what happened with the "You're dead" threats as well.

[taocpa]

I was on the path leading to the parking lot when I heard the "You're dead" comments but I know they were directed at me and my partner. The other team was almost at their bus by this time.

My assignor is contacting the school today. I expect to file a report with them as well. Last night, I came very close to writing a personal letter to the head pastor of the school about the incident, but I am working through my chain of command to resolve the issue.

I am not sure these kids really wanted to play. The coach and players complained about every call. It's been so long since I have seen this level of unsportsmanlike conduct. I admit my adrenaline was pumping and my "Irish" was up, but what I saw was incredibly awful conduct. They say a fish rots from the head down. Well, I hope the coach is forced to take a seat for a game as well.

Tom

[taocpa]

Well, the coach was contacted and his game report came back basically saying that I am a racist because I only carded his team on which every player is black. My partner, according to his report as well, was high on dope.

I wonder why I even bothered getting back into this. This guy is absolutely off his rocker. And since he is also the athletic director, it goes unpunished. The threats, the racist language, the insinuations about me and the other referee.

What a joke.

Tom

[Sean_94]

Usually your first instinct on behavior is correct. I would have reached for red right away. The kids need to learn what is tolerated by the ref, and what is not. Not just any high school, but especially at a Christian school these lessons need to be learned and the coach should have helped, not hurt the situation.
The N-word was used in context to insult the other player, whether or not it is cultural for black people to use it. The context was the other player is an N-word. Red card. We have been conditioned in our society today that the N-word is the worst. So red card is appropriate.
Referees might have different thresholds with language. Recently I heard a 13-14-year-old boy, whom I called for a foul, tell me "you suck" under his breath as he ran past me. I immediately pulled out yellow. The coach asked why the foul was a card, and I told him what he said, and he thanked me because the player is known to have a mouth.
A 13-14 girl recently told me my call was "bull crap" after she committed a simple foul. I immediately went for yellow and told her I wouldn't tolerate her language. She told me it wasn't swearing. I told her as far as I'm concerned it was, and the next remark would be red card. Point is, I drew the line, and the girls knew where it stood. I didn't hear a peep out of her the rest of the match. Her comment was disrespectful toward the ref, that's all that mattered. Yellow card.
Some other refs might have tolerated these comments, and that's fine. But I don't. The kids quickly learn this and clean it up.
I would consider writing your letter to the pastor. But you have to make sure you don't sound like you are getting personal or vindictive with the coach/AD, or being spiteful or taking personal what was said to you ("you're dead," etc.). Since you are going over the head of the coach/AD, it might seem personal, but you have to be sincere.
Express concern for the players' behavior, that as a referee you won't tolerate certain behavior and the kids must know this when they play the game. Their behavior also did not set a very good example, as they were representing the pastor's church. I would think any good pastor would appreciate your concern.
In your letter, treat it as a learning experience for the kids. After all, that's the whole point of high school sports (at least it's supposed to be). Don't make it sound like an opportunity to vent your frustrations about how YOU were treated. This is an opportunity for the kids to learn proper attitude and behavior in certain public settings. In a way, you are in the role of teacher (just as the coaches should be). Foul language is prohibited in your matches.
I think if you approach it the right way, you will earn the respect of the pastor, coach and maybe even the players. The pastor should handle it through the proper means at his church/school, and perhaps the team will clean up their act next time they have you as a ref.

[PirateJohn]

My partner, according to his report as well, was high on dope.If I'm not mistaken, this is libel.

[Statesman]

taocpa, I suggest you go over his head and file a formal complaint with the governing association. If that doesn't work, go for a lawsuit. Heck, you could contact the local news over something of this nature.

You have options, don't allow youself to be a victim!

[uniteo]

If I'm not mistaken, this is libel.

Unless he were high, or the coach had reasonable information to that end, then yes, it would be libelous.

I'd write to the head of the school.

[Wreave]

At a U14 game I was CRing Tuesday evening, one team had completely dominated the other team (score ended 10-0 with eight different players scoring). In the second half, the down team got a breakaway past the pushed-up defense and was driving the ball into the other half of the field. I was running hard to catch up as I had been pretty close to the opposite PA when the ball turned and went through, and I heard a player behind me say, "Holy S***". I looked back as I ran, expecting to see multiple players there and not know who to speak to, but there was only one guy right behind me.

He had said it quietly, I might have been the only other person who heard him, and it wasn't directed at me. So I just said, "Watch the language, son." To which he responded defensively, "I said, 'Oh my gosh!'"

<Sigh>

So then I had to stop play when the ball went out for a throw-in and say, "Son, when the referee speaks to you, you may respond 'yes' or 'yes sir', do you understand?" Player: "Yes sir." Me: "Watch the language." Player: "Yes sir."

No more problems...

[SA14mars]

Bi-lingual games are also important to note. It really looks bad when a referee doesn't card a player for saying something in spanish (or any other language for that matter) that he or she would have carded the player for if it had been said in english. Don't necessiarly need to be fluent, but know the guist of the explicatives and how serious each one is.

[Ref Flunkie]

Bi-lingual games are also important to note. It really looks bad when a referee doesn't card a player for saying something in spanish (or any other language for that matter) that he or she would have carded the player for if it had been said in english. Don't necessiarly need to be fluent, but know the guist of the explicatives and how serious each one is.

I would have to know about 10 languages in my area for that to happen :).

[gkeck]

Just happened to tune into the last 30 minutes of Oprah. Discussing racism, and use of the N word. Oprah felt strongly that the word is a "racially charged, demeaning term", no matter who says it.

Some of the black men on the program did say that they use the word towards each other, some in an endearing manner.

No doubt that this needs to go to the top administrator in the school.

[ur_land]

There's also this book (which I have not yet read)

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0375713719/qid=1128702594/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/103-9082193-2662266?v=glance&s=books


From Publishers Weekly
The word is paradigmatically ugly, racist and inflammatory. But is it different when Ice Cube uses it in a song than when, during the O.J. Simpson trial, Mark Fuhrman was accused of saying it? What about when Lenny Bruce uses it to "defang" it by sheer repetition? Or when Mark Twain uses it in The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn to make an antiracist statement? Kennedy, a professor at Harvard Law School and noted legal scholar, has produced an insightful and highly provocative book that raises vital questions about the relationship between language, politics, social norms and how society and culture confront racism. Drawing on a wide range of historical, legal and cultural instances Harry S. Truman calling Adam Clayton Powell "that damned ************ preacher"; Title VII court cases in which the use of the word was proof of condoning a "racially hostile work environment"; Quentin Tarantino's liberal use of the word in his films Kennedy repeatedly shows not only the complicated cultural history of the word, but how its meaning, intent and even substance change in context. Smart, well argued and never afraid of facing serious, difficult and painful questions in an unflinching and unsentimental manner, this is an important work of cultural and political criticism. As Kennedy notes in closing: "For bad or for good, ************ is... destined to remain with us for the foreseeable future a reminder of the ironies and dilemmas, the tragedies and glories, of the American experience." (Jan. 22)Forecast: This may be the book that reignites larger debates over race eclipsed by September 11. Look for a bestselling run and huge talk show and magazine coverage as the Afghanistan news cycle continues to slow; the book had already been the subject of two New York Times stories by early January.