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HighburyGoon
16 Sep 2005, 11:07 AM
my favorite Ferrell sketch:

"I am a division manager. I drive a Dodge Stratus"

or

http://www.arches.uga.edu/~boylekb/gouletcar1.jpg


My favorite:

"I'm Neil Diamond, I will smack you in the mouth!"

http://images.usatoday.com/money/index/_photos/2001-11-12-gap-ad-track2.jpg

Followed closely by:

http://shockingbird.com/down/downloads/snl_blue_oyster_cowbell.jpg

HighburyGoon
16 Sep 2005, 11:10 AM
If you get a minute try this:

Go to google.com, type in "miserable failure" then hit "I'm feeling lucky".

arsenalgirl30016
16 Sep 2005, 11:10 AM
My favorite:

"I'm Neil Diamond, I will smack you in the mouth!"

http://images.usatoday.com/money/index/_photos/2001-11-12-gap-ad-track2.jpg

Followed closely by:

http://shockingbird.com/down/downloads/snl_blue_oyster_cowbell.jpg
the whole video for the cowbell is freaking hiliarious! I was crying when I saw it. the combination of Will's joyous cowbell playing and Christopher Walken was hysterical! :D

Achtung
16 Sep 2005, 11:12 AM
the whole video for the cowbell is freaking hiliarious! I was crying when I saw it. the combination of Will's joyous cowbell playing and Christopher Walken was hysterical! :D

"By the way, my name is Bruce Dickinson. Yes, THE Bruce Dickinson."

Achtung
16 Sep 2005, 11:13 AM
If you get a minute try this:

Go to google.com, type in "miserable failure" then hit "I'm feeling lucky".

It's been done. ;)

(I think the first one was "dumb mother********er")

Gunner Phan
16 Sep 2005, 11:16 AM
Were we just part of a menage a trois of pain? :D ;)

mmm. sounds good. I think I will have another.

GriffinGunner
16 Sep 2005, 11:24 AM
the whole video for the cowbell is freaking hiliarious! I was crying when I saw it. the combination of Will's joyous cowbell playing and Christopher Walken was hysterical! :DTruly great stuff!

America: the most powerful nation on the earth, rendered weak as millions of people are rolling over the sound of "More Cowbell!"

Riz
16 Sep 2005, 11:24 AM
mmm. sounds good. I think I will have another.

*spank*

sarabella
16 Sep 2005, 11:32 AM
Did anyone else notice that it's feej's birthday today??

Happy Birthday, feej! Mourinho is a tool! :D

http://www.cougarsflowers.com/birthday%20cake.JPG

Riz
16 Sep 2005, 11:33 AM
Mourinho is a tool! :D

*SPANK*

sarabella
16 Sep 2005, 11:34 AM
*SPANK*
:D I luv u

Gunner Phan
16 Sep 2005, 11:38 AM
I think we should open another thread in the OT in honor of feej's b-day with nothing but pics of J. Alba.

and the nano ipod...;) Happy b-day feej!

arsenalgirl30016
16 Sep 2005, 11:38 AM
:D I luv u
Perfect Birthday Wish for Feej Sarab (well for all of us really-it is the gift that keeps on giving! ;)! Happy Birthday Feej-y!

Bluto11
16 Sep 2005, 11:40 AM
"I'm a division manager! PEOPLE ARE SCARED OF ME!"

Family Dinner Argument

Dad.....Will Ferrell
Daughter.....Sarah Michelle Geller
Mom.....Ana Gasteyer




[ open on suburban family sitting at the dinner table ]

[ family makes a lot of noise with their forks and knives as the eat in disturbing silence ]

Dad: [ breaking silence ] How was school today, dear?

Daughter: Fine.

Mom: Did you have band practice today, or was Mr. Larson still sick?

Daughter: No, he's still sick.

[ they continue to eat in silence, banging their knives and forks together as they eat ]

Dad: [ craving attention ] I had a.. funny thing happen today at work. When I left the office, I had trouble unlocking my car. Then I realized I had the wrong set of keys.

Mom: Did somebody take your keys?

Dad: [ annoyed ] Can I finish the story? [ pauses in stern silence ] It turns out that I had accidentally taken Jeff Peabody's keys, and.. he had taken mine. We.. really had a long laugh.

Mom: Mmm, I thought that's who took them..

Dad: Will you ever let me finish a damn story?!

Mom: I-I just assumed that Jeff Peabody -

Dad: I would love to finish one damn story!

Daughter: Your stories are lame, Dad!

Dad: [ angry ] You do not talk to me like that!

Mom: Do not raise your voice!

Shut up!!

Dad: You do not talk to me like that!

Daughter: I cannot believe -

Dad: I am a Division Manager!! That is very important!! That is very important!! You don't talk to me like that!! People are scared of me!!

Daughter: Why would anybody be scared of you! I hate you, you big fat terd!

[ stunned, they continue to eat in awkward, confned silence ]

Mom: I spoke with Paula's mother this afternoon.

Daughter: So?

Mom: I guess Paula's really excited about the sleepover tomorrow night.

Daughter: Oh, shut up, you drunken witch!

[ they return to silence ]

Dad: Did you pick up my dry cleaning?

Mom: Hmm, it's not ready until Thursday.

Dad: I thought you said it'd be ready today?

Mom: No, it's going to be ready Thursday.

Dad: You know, I have that big meeting tomorrow.

Mom: Well, I'm sorry.

Dad: I wish you weren't a liar!

Mom: I didn't lie, Ted.

Dad: I wish you weren't a liar!

Mom: I wish you wouldn't call me a liar!

Dad: Don't raise your voice at me!

Mom: I am not raising my voice!

Dad: You do not talk to me like that!! I work too hard to deal with this stuff!! I work too hard!! I'm a Division Manager in charge of 49 people!! I drive a Dodge Stratus!!

[ their screaming comes to an end, as the agonizing silence returns ]

Mom: Honey, do you want to go to Pottery class with me this weekend?

Daughter: I wish you were dead!

[ awkward silence, a struggle for a normal conversion ]

Dad: I'm gonna take the car into the shop tomorrow.

Daughter: You mean your lame Dodge Stratus?

Dad: You don't talk about my car that way!!

Mom: Dear Lord..

Dad: I drive a Dodge Stratus!! You don't talk about my Dodge Stratus that way!!

Daughter: Shut up!

Dad: You do not talk to your father that way!! I am a Division Manager!! I can do 100 push-ups in twenty minutes!!

Daughter: I'm going to Rob's house! I hate you - both!

[ Daughter storms out of the house ]

[ Dad grabs daughter's plate, and seperates her food between him and Mom ]

Dad: This chicken is delicious.

Mom: It's a recipe from Lipton Cup-a-Soup.

[ fade out ]

Riz
16 Sep 2005, 11:43 AM
:D I luv u

You jus' love my spankings. :D

Gunner Phan
16 Sep 2005, 11:49 AM
You jus' love my spankings. :D

that's hot.

arsenalgirl30016
16 Sep 2005, 01:14 PM
that's hot.
*runs back with the popcorn; looks around for the hotness*
:confused:

:D
where'd everyone go?

Gunner Phan
16 Sep 2005, 01:21 PM
*runs back with the popcorn; looks around for the hotness*
:confused:

:D
where'd everyone go?

I know; I came back with my cat-o-9-tails and no one to....;)

arsenalgirl30016
16 Sep 2005, 01:30 PM
I know; I came back with my cat-o-9-tails and no one to....;)
:eek: ;)

HighburyGoon
16 Sep 2005, 01:36 PM
It's been done. ;)

(I think the first one was "dumb mother********er")

http://www.imagecrown.com/images/dooker/bushvacation.jpg

Gone fishin'!