If they weren't playing footy...

[Val1]

Given that it is international week, and a little slow...

F'rinstance, I have always imagined Thierry Henry as a tennis player. I'd love to have seen him on the court with Roger Federer. Pure poetry. (Actually, that would be a topic for another thread, but Federer may be the most gifted, graceful ahlete on the top of his game right now.)

[dﮥnny]

Graveson as a rugby player.

[king_saladin]

Roy Keane as an inmate

[Stud83]

Cantona as a movie star... Say what? :o

Roy Keane - boxer
Alan Smith - member of a boyband
Julio Baptista - bodyguard
Mourinho - clown

[mritalian1210]

Totti-actor :D

[TarheelJTK]

Roy Keane - some sort of thug
Rooney - pimp with a stable full of old ladies
Michael Owen - jockey
Robert Pires - Olympic champ in diving
Cisse - Hairdresser

[SirManchester]

Cantona as a movie star... Say what? :o

Alan Smith - member of a boyband

You sure about that? I'd put my money on him being one of those Ultimate fighters.

[Excape Goat]

David Seaman -- porno actor and he can use his real name too.

[655321]

Sami Hyypia - stand in for Dolph Lundgren.

[SirManchester]

Hmmm....If Michael Owen is the jockey...he has two great choices for a horse to ride...

Either Ronaldinho or Ruud.....


And he goes with RONALDINHO!! RIDE 'IM BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Hrvat]

David Beckham a well known novelist.

[wufc]

Wayne Rooney as a romance novel cover model

[johan neeskens]

Stevie Gerrard - on the dole

[Danson's Magic Hands]

Stevie Gerrard - on the dole

Francis Jeffers - on the dole
Wayne Rooney - on the dole
Joey Barton - on the dole
Lee Bowyer - on the dole

There may be a pattern emerging here:

I once read a quote by a German coach which basically said that, if football would not exist, X proportion of any squad of players would be jobless, and X proportion would be begging on the streets. They were very definite percentages as well, so he'd obviously applied some in-depth calculations to it. I've been looking for that quote ever since, but to no avail.

[Andy TAUS]

Francis Jeffers - on the dole
Wayne Rooney - on the dole
Joey Barton - on the dole
Lee Bowyer - on the dole

There may be a pattern emerging here:

I once read a quote by a German coach which basically said that, if football would not exist, X proportion of any squad of players would be jobless, and X proportion would be begging on the streets. They were very definite percentages as well, so he'd obviously applied some in-depth calculations to it. I've been looking for that quote ever since, but to no avail.Ted, don't you think a couple would be in jail, instead?

[Danson's Magic Hands]

Ted, don't you think a couple would be in jail, instead?

But between stretches, they would be on the dole.

Wait, what am I saying? As Englishmen, they are the most honourable people on this planet, and would be fine upstanding members of society. Yes, that's it.

[johno]

Zidane: Magician/Escape Artist
Scholes: hitman, he's so bloody ruthless :D
RVN: Financial Advisor - he's got great financial positioning
Sol Campbell: Bouncer
Pires: hairdresser/crossdresser
Saviola: Jockey

[dmar]

Beckham > translator :D
Riise > woodcutter
Gravesen > would play Shrek
Ronaldinho > surfer

[PirateJohn]

David Beckham a well known novelist.Nah, David Beckham would be a pu$$y-whipped husband.

Oh, wait, he already is!

[Speed_Racer]

Some USMNT notables;

Kasey Keller - U-Boat Captain

Brian McBride - War Veteran/Organ Donor

Landon Donovan - Cupid (sorry, possibly an answer for another thread question).

Claudio Reyna - Insurance Agent