I'm getting angry at my U-11's!

[bora bora]

they dont even try to train, they stand around gossiping("This girl likes that guy who is sooooout of her league") and they crack jokes at the coach and me(assistant) if we stuff up a tiny bit, even though they make plenty of mistakes and we shut up. I would send them for laps, but their parents would get angry at me for hurting their little angels. what should i do to show them that we're the boss, they sit tight, shut the F*&^% up?

[Ray Luca]

they dont even try to train, they stand around gossiping("This girl likes that guy who is sooooout of her league") and they crack jokes at the coach and me(assistant) if we stuff up a tiny bit, even though they make plenty of mistakes and we shut up. I would send them for laps, but their parents would get angry at me for hurting their little angels. what should i do to show them that we're the boss, they sit tight, shut the F*&^% up?

Send that player home and tell her she is going down as missing practice for disrupting practice. I don't know what your rules are but since she missed practice she should not start the game. Give her the least playing time you can.

Also tell her if she misses the game further non playing is in her future.

If she like to hang out in a particular group seperate that groups into other groups don't put them together.

Then hope she quits.

You have to have rules before you start the season and stick to them. Put a lot of time and thought into those rules before you lay them out to the players and the parents.

No free rides for the parents even if they pay. They have duties to do for the team like transportion of player or pick up team stuff. They don't do them the kids lose playing time.

[denver_mugwamp]

they dont even try to train, they stand around gossiping("This girl likes that guy who is sooooout of her league") and they crack jokes at the coach and me(assistant) if we stuff up a tiny bit, even though they make plenty of mistakes and we shut up. I would send them for laps, but their parents would get angry at me for hurting their little angels. what should i do to show them that we're the boss, they sit tight, shut the F*&^% up?

These are U-11's, like 9 and 10 year olds? I assume you were an industrious hard-working little rugrat when you were that age and never goofed off or got distracted? If you're doing this for the money, please find another job. I'm worried that your simmering anger might cause you to do something stupid.

[ScottnATL]

I coach U10 Boys. They don't gossip as much as push and wrestle with each other, and kick away one another's balls when we line up for drills.

I use my whistle to correct them. If they are acting out of line I blow the whistle really loud. They'll all stop and stare at me, then I tell the offender to stop doing what he was doing, and we will not resume practice until he stops. The key though seems to be the whistle. It seems to embarrass them that they had the whistle blown at them, kind of like being called for a penalty.

I've thought about using a card system. If the player gets a red card for repeated infractions he sits out, but I really haven't had to go this far.

[blech]

1. take some responsibility for this as coaches - create a practice plan that minimizes the opportunity for them to stand around gossiping by keeping them moving in drills that they find fun, and then keep switching the drills before they get bored - it won't eliminate the issue entirely, but if you can keep them interested with the soccer portion of the practice, you may be able to control this other portion

2. i also have generally coached boys, so perhaps someone else can comment on this more, but my understanding is that the social part of the interaction is even more important when dealing with girls - the point: you shouldn't try to eliminate the gossiping entirely, because it's part of what they like about being on a team - rather, you should probably be trying to "control" it rather than eliminate it

3. as part of controlling it, you might try to set up times that allow it - as long as they can keep stretching at the same time, you've got a 5-10 minute period for interacting with one another at the start of practice - sounds like they would do it naturally, but if not encourage them (perhaps enlist a spy to encourage them since they don't want to hear which boys you think are hot) to use that time for that purpose - and then perhaps work in another 5 minute break for water rest midway through practice

4. i've also used the singling out approach, either pulling a trouble maker out of the group or punishing the entire group because of the trouble maker, but seem to recall reading/hearing that this tactic works better with boys than girls (that it has the corrective approach desired with boys but is too harsh with girls) - obviously, these gender assumptions are stereotypes, and may not apply to everyone, but there's enough written on it that it probably has some merit and shouldn't be simply disregarded

5. the main thing is to keep it fun for them, so i would urge you not to stop it entirely - the other thing to try to sort out is whether they're all enjoying it, or whether there are some who want to practice and are being held back because of it - if the former, you may want to adjust your expectations - if the latter, perhaps with two coaches you can break them into groups so that everyone gets more of what they want (the hard practice group and the gossip group) - just a thought

[NHRef]

I never had any issue with laps, nor parents objecting. The point was never to run them into the ground, but to make the team STOP doing whatever we were doing and make them run a single lap around the field, make it clear WHY they are running, you don't even need to single anyone out, just a "you guys/girls don't want to listen, fine, run, everyone RIGHT NOW." After 2 or so of these I would sit them all down (while they were out of breath ;) ) and give them the speach: " I am here to teach you to play soccer, you are here to learn to play soccer. If we both do our jobs we will all have lots of fun and learn about the game. However, we will NOT tolerate xxxx behaviour. If this team wants to do xxxxx, then fine with me (us if more than 1 coach), you guys/girls will simply run laps for the enitre practice. And guess what, that actually makes my job easier cause I don't have to plan out drills, I can just bring a book and sit here and watch you run. So pick, RIGHT NOW, how we are going to run this season"

This ALWAYS worked and it was mostly done on U11/12 teams. Do it within hearing distance of the parents so they know what to expect as well.

[bungadiri]

I agree with the sentiment that says a certain amount of disruptive behavior just comes with the u-11 territory. It's worse than pointless to get as mad as you seem to be. Instead of reacting to each specific behavior, start by reconstructing your practices so that they are more active--less standing around means less chance of things going out of control. Emphasize games that teach rather than drills and publicly praise those kids that are doing what you want done. Once you've made it clear what's expected, then you can start sending the genuinely disruptive ones for laps, or whatever. But do it calmly, otherwise it will seem like you're doing it only because you're mad rather than for soccer-based reasons.

[SccrDon]

I don't like using laps as punishment. Running is such an important part of the game that I want them to view it positively and as something that will make them more effective in games.

Situps and pushups work better as punishment. The girls hate them.

I have always coached girls (since I have 2 daughters and no sons). I have found it effective to use the players that want to practice to help manage the few that don't. If a player is running her mouth when I need to talk to the team, I will stop talking and stare at her, and the other girls start staring at her, too. Once she realizes everybody is staring at her and stops talking, I decide whether other punishment is needed. If the problem kid(s) have to do situps and pushups, the rest of the team proceeds to the next activity, and the talkers have to come to me to get their instruction. I haven't had too many repeat offenders.

Good luck! :)

[usscouse]

Some excellent tips here.
http://www.bigsoccer.com/forum/showthread.php?t=140687

[kopiteinkc]

2. i also have generally coached boys, so perhaps someone else can comment on this more, but my understanding is that the social part of the interaction is even more important when dealing with girls - the point: you shouldn't try to eliminate the gossiping entirely, because it's part of what they like about being on a team - rather, you should probably be trying to "control" it rather than eliminate it

I have coached a girls team for 6 years or so now. They are all now 13 or 14.

They do talk a lot more than boys when they are together. As they come from 3 or 4 local middle schools they all have theit "catching up" to do.

As they arrive seems to be the hardest part so 4 or 5 arrive I have start a game of "Keep away" as another group of 4 or 5 arrive i start another game. This gets them warmed up, they continue talking while playing and the latecomers miss out on a game and try to get there earlier next time.

Generally I have friends who just don't stop talking with each other and I put them in different groups.

I have 17 on my roster and that's a lot of chattering. It's got to the point where I joke about it with the girls and asked them who broke up with who this week and act like I sam interested. Of course they never tell me anything either :)

So the key is relax, they are gonna talk no matter what -- so get them into smaller groups and have them play fun soccer related games so they can begin to focus on why they are there.

I have never had a kid do laps, but I have sat one kid down for 5 minutes and asked them to come back and join in once they have learned to keep quiet when I am talking. Worked well and she apologized at the end of practice.

[Z010 Union]

I coach U 11's and the key, like was stated above, is to control the standing around time. For girls, it is not just about athletics but about creating a sporting family. My girls have talked less and less since the whole team has to extra fitness when it happens during instruction. What happens in line for drills or on a mile fitness run is going to happen whether you like it or not.

To kick this off, start a practice with a meeting with players and parents. Explain your goals and expectations. Girls who are repeated offenders should be sent off to sit with their parents and explain why they are paying for her to sit down.

[JohnR]

Our U11 boys coach took care of this in a hurry. "What the ******** are you doing? This isn't a ********ing playground. Shut your ass up if you ever want to play again."

Then he wouldn't play 'em if they persist.

Works great on a high-level boys team. After 3 weeks, they were sheep, and damned happy sheep at that. The Lord loveth a firm hand.

Wouldn't work on a lower-level team. Maybe not with girls of any level, either. Girls are weird, they don't always end up loving you when you curse at them. Don't know why that is so, but it is.

[bora bora]

thanks for all your advice, but because we play in a church league, all players have to get playing time, or we get in trouble, and may be fired. and no, im not doing this for money, i just think it is rude for them not to listen a tiny bit. i dont mind them talking, i do mind them being rude and disrespectful

[bora bora]

ps fired as in getting banned from coaching or playing in the league

[BTFOOM]

thanks for all your advice, but because we play in a church league, all players have to get playing time, or we get in trouble, and may be fired. and no, im not doing this for money, i just think it is rude for them not to listen a tiny bit. i dont mind them talking, i do mind them being rude and disrespectful

OK, that's good info. I coach a girls U-10 team (travel). These girls really want to play and get better (and I still have some problems as you describe).

I would suggest that before your next training session, get the girls together (with their parents if they won't pay attention) and ask them what they want from the team. For many girls, the social aspect is very important. If the don't care that much about the game itself, you may want to re-evaluate what you want out of it.

If they want to be (at least fairly) serious, then explain to them they can talk, giggle, etc during water breaks (I keep them to 1 minute - firm). When I'm talking, noone else is. If they don't listen, I make them do 'Down/Ups' (everyone lays down on their stomachs and jumps up when I say up, they also have so say something like 'I love soccer' etc). They can do this a few times if need be.

As far as training sessions go, make sure to have a plan that keeps them busy. Remember to avoid the 3 L's (Laps, Lectures, Lines). Keep the pace crisp. It may take a week or two, but stick with it. They will get the point.

Lastly, if there are one or two who still won't listen, explain to them AND their parents that playing time will be reduced for girls who don't pay attention. Nothing gets kids/parents attention like having all the rest of the subs going in and they just stand there with you.

Good Luck. Please let me know how this turns out (especially if you find somethiing that works well).

[JayJay4Pres]

If you have ever been around any preteen-teen girls in a group, you know they will gossip. Like others have said, don't try to force them to be quiet. I was an asst. for a U6 coed team, they never listen. Use your whistle. It's meant to be an attention getter. otherwise officials would just say foul during a game. Most importantly, if you want to keep your job, control your temper. I know it's frustraiting to have people not listen to you(Being a ref you learn no one wants to hear you)...but with young girls, you'll never get them to listen if your just constantly yelling at them to stop. If your team has a captain, talk to her about becoming a true leader. Let her tell the others when to stop talking and get to work. Anytime your talking they should be quiet, so they know what drill is coming up...but why not during streching or warm ups? the parents shouldn't get mad at you for running their girls, and a lap for behavior is a good idea, it won't kill them(unless they have REALLY bad ashthma) so don't be afraid. The U6 team I helped with did quite a bit of running. It's a great tool.

Good luck.

[RonP811]

Coaching girls is very different than coaching boys. My club's mantra on this is to train them like boys but treat them like girls. The social component is far more important to girls than it is to boys. You have recognize this or you'll lose the team. That doesn'tmean you have to let your girls goof off all practice, but something that I've seen work is to allow the chatter during stretching and even encourage it by having you engage in the playful banter. Then you say, OK we've had our fun now it's time to work. If there is too much chatter going on in practice, maybe that means there is too much standing around. Use drills in which there is constant movement. Also change the drills frequently to avoid boredom (which reuslts in more chatting). In my opinion, the key to effective coaching is to trick your players. I am constantly trying to find or invent drills that are fun. By tricking them I mean a good drill is where I think I think they're learning something and the kids think they're having fun. My goal is to have them learn while having fun. A kid who is having fun (and I don't mean goofing around) will be motivated to get better.

[spartanpele]

I would say the best thing to do is call for a team meeting with the players and parents there. (This is what you should have done at the beginning of the season). Hand out team rules and expectations that involves both the parents and the players. Go over the rules one by one.
(1) When the coach talks, all players are to be quiet and listen. No exceptions.
(2) All players are to be respectful to the coaches, the opponents, the referees, and teammates.
(3) Attitude equals the bench. Talking back to the coach will not be allowed and any player showing attitude will see their playing time decreased.
(4) Any player who isn't willing to give 110% while at practice will be sent home. Any player sent home 3x during the season will be removed from the team. A parents meeting will be arranged to discuss the situation.
(5) Play hard, play smart, play as a team...and most importantly...have fun!

Make it clear to the parents and players that there has been far too much goofing off and attitude shown lately at practices. Don't single out players during the meeting. Ask the parents if any of them object to the players doing extra pushups, situps, knee to chest jumps, leg raisers, laps, sprints as a form of punishment to the players if they don't listen. (Odds are nobody will object.) If a parent objects (which of course will embarrass that girl) ask the parent what form of discipline they would prefer (being sent home?, picking up rocks from the field after practice?, having to write a report on manners?)

After the meeting, thank the players and parents...then get right to work with your practice.

Keep your practices challenging and moving. The more down time you have (setting up cones, handing out pinneys), the more the kids will chat. Tell the girls...and I would start calling them ladies instead of girls. Tell the ladies you don't have any problem with them chatting before practice, after practice, while doing warmup stretches, cool down stretches, or while you're doing setup, but once you say, "ok, lets get started", you expect quiet....and remember to enforce..."when coach talks, everyone is to be quiet and listen". Now that you have the backing of the parents, if the kids misbehave, pick your poison for them.

But keep the practices moving and challenging for them. If you aren't confident doing the skills in front of the girls, bring up a volunteer (one of the better players...or better yet...one of the yakkers), and have them demonstrate. I've always found that the best way to keep the chatters quiet is to involve them in the demonstrations....or...if you know they could do a good job...make them captains and put them in charge of helping to quiet the other yakkers.

Best of luck...!!

[blitzzfc]

I agree with the sentiment that says a certain amount of disruptive behavior just comes with the u-11 territory. It's worse than pointless to get as mad as you seem to be. Instead of reacting to each specific behavior, start by reconstructing your practices so that they are more active--less standing around means less chance of things going out of control. Emphasize games that teach rather than drills and publicly praise those kids that are doing what you want done. Once you've made it clear what's expected, then you can start sending the genuinely disruptive ones for laps, or whatever. But do it calmly, otherwise it will seem like you're doing it only because you're mad rather than for soccer-based reasons.
Well said. It's so important for coaches to keep their composure. We must set a good example for the children.

[blitzzfc]

Coaching girls is very different than coaching boys. My club's mantra on this is to train them like boys but treat them like girls. The social component is far more important to girls than it is to boys. You have recognize this or you'll lose the team. That doesn'tmean you have to let your girls goof off all practice, but something that I've seen work is to allow the chatter during stretching and even encourage it by having you engage in the playful banter. Then you say, OK we've had our fun now it's time to work. If there is too much chatter going on in practice, maybe that means there is too much standing around. Use drills in which there is constant movement. Also change the drills frequently to avoid boredom (which reuslts in more chatting). In my opinion, the key to effective coaching is to trick your players. I am constantly trying to find or invent drills that are fun. By tricking them I mean a good drill is where I think I think they're learning something and the kids think they're having fun. My goal is to have them learn while having fun. A kid who is having fun (and I don't mean goofing around) will be motivated to get better.
I don't think it's just limited to girls. My boys U14 side is as chatty as my girls U13s; in fact, they crack more jokes during training than the ladies. I think it just depends on the day and the mood of the kids. When they are like this, I just have to find unique ways to teach them. Sometimes, I'll just joke with them for a bit, then pull the team aside for a quick chat. Then, we'll recap what we're learning and get back to business. Anytime is time for a teaching moment.