Arsenal: Everybody Hates You

[mixmastermatt]

Think of everything you've ever hated in your whole life, times it by ten, and then aim it in a passionate, violent, acidic, screaming rage at Vodafone, Nike, Art Deco, and anything else 'Arse'nal.

O2 you prick!

[Winston Smith]

Happy Christmas to you too Dan!!! :D

Happy New Year Rick! I've been neglecting my replies of late as I've been very busy at work. Good to see this thread's still going though :D .

[Winston Smith]

O2 you prick!

Doh! What an unintentional insult! Sorry, Vodafone's Man Utd, O2's your spazzy kit. How is Hatfield by the way? I went there once, beautiful place, they really know what to do with concrete.

[Winston Smith]

Don't tell me how to think. ********wit.

It's okay Double. This guys a goon (going by his Arsenal obsessed previous posts) which is a shame as I was going to disown him :rolleyes: .

[Winston Smith]

No, I don't live in a fantasy world. At this moment in time Arsenal are more likely to win trophies than Spurs, you would have to be barking mad not to realise that. What keeps Spurs fans going is the knowledge that it won't last forever. Football is a game of luck as much as anything. You appointed Wenger and hit gold, we pray that our new manager will have even greater success. God knows we deserve a bit of success.

Beautiful words, beautifully spoken. Now we finally have. We did what the gooner's couldn't. Roll on Highbury!

[Dave_M]

Doh! What an unintentional insult! Sorry, Vodafone's Man Utd, O2's your spazzy kit.

Given the choice of having a "spazzy kit", or a nice ghey skin tight jobby, I know what id take.... ;)

[Winston Smith]

This thread isn't anywhere near as entertaining now that Arsenal are pretty much out of the picture (realistically) for every trophy.

I almost feel sorry for you guys :( .

[Winston Smith]

:D :p ;) :D

[Motterman]

This was apparently posted on some Spurs fan site, enjoy!

1886: Gooner Stench. Formed from leftovers and crap in South London a good 4 years after Spurs were born, Dial Square as they were originally known played their first match on a field with an open sewer running through the middle – the stench remains an integral part of them to this day

1887: Early end. After being battered 2-1 in the first match between Spurs and Arsenal, Arsenal cried to the ref to get the game abandoned with 15 minutes to play, which it was – although Spurs were the moral winners, and have been ever since.

1913: INVASION OF NORTH LONDON. Henry Norris was a west London estate agent who dreamed of challenging the dominance of Northern and midlands clubs in the English League early in the last century. Norris, who later became mayor of Fulham, a Conservative member of parliament and earned a knighthood as well as a lifetime ban from soccer, believed that if he merged ailing Woolwich Arsenal of south London with Fulham in west London his dream of a London super-club could take shape. But the League blocked his proposals, so he cut his ties with Fulham, gambled all on Arsenal and moved them across the River Thames and north to the wide-open spaces of Highbury. The only trouble with this plan was that the new stadium was close to the established homes of Tottenham three miles north and Clapton Orient, two miles east. Despite Spurs and Orient's protests, the League was powerless to prevent the move and in 1913 the North London rivalry between Arsenal-Spurs began. If Tottenham were upset about Arsenal moving on to their doorstep, they had even more reason to be angry six years later, for Sir Henry wasn't finished with Spurs.

1919: Get Spurs relegated and Arsenal promoted from 6th position - In 1915, when Football ended because of World War One, Chelsea and Spurs had finished bottom of the first division and Arsenal were sixth in Division two. The League planned to expand the first division by two clubs and precedent dictated that the two bottom clubs would stay up and the top two in the second division would join them. Sir Henry had other ideas. To this day the details of exactly what occurred at the league's meeting in March 1919 remains a mystery, but by the end of the day, Arsenal had been voted into the first division and Spurs voted out. Arsenal have never been out of the top flight since.

1919: Parrot Killers - Spurs embarked on a tour of South America (Argentina & Uruguay) in 1909. The boat journey either way to Argentina was fairly long. One of the distractions provided for the passengers on the way home was a fancy dress competition. It was actually won by two of the Spurs' players dressed as Robinson Crusoe and Man Friday. The ship had a parrot and they had borrowed it as one of their props. As a result the parrot was presented to the club (or the two players) by the ship's captain. And yes it is claimed that the bird died on the day the dirty deed took place in 1919 which saw Arsenal replace Spurs in the first division. It has been suggested in some quarters that this was the origin of the phrase "as sick as a parrot"! Add Parrot murderers to their list of crimes

1923: Get Gillespie Road station renamed - The Gooner scum also managed to get Gillespie Road station renamed to Arsen*l station by some dodgy dealings with London Transport and the local council. A wrong that should be righted as soon as they move to their unconverted rubbish dump at Ashburton Grove.

1924: Druggie cheats – More tales of Gooners up to no good with manager Leslie Knighton admitting giving performance enhancing drugs to his s**t players during their unsuccessful 1924 FA Cup run.

1927: Help Spurs get relegated – Rumours that they did not play their best in certain matches to ensure Spurs were relegated

1929: Justice for the First of the Gooners - Henry Norris – a lifetime ban from Football – too little too late - Sir Henry got his come-uppance. In 1929 the FA banned him from soccer because he constantly flouted their rules and was also suspected of making illegal payments to players. A year after he was banned, Arsenal won the FA Cup for the first time and in 1931 became the first London side to win the Championship. Tottenham, meanwhile, spent most of the 1930s in the second division -- their glory days still in the future

1929: Herbert’s Legacy – Ex Spur Herbert Chapman managed to get some of the Spurs Lilywhite into their kit by making the sleeves white – but his other efforts to weaken Arsenal failed as they won the league a couple of times under his control

1968: Bob Wilson – Oriental spy

1971: George Graham - claimed a goal in some cup final or other that he blatantly did not get anywhere near to touching

1974: Don Howe – Criminally Insane individual

1979: Alan Sunderland - "and you're just a murderer, Sunderland"

1979: Peter Story - jail for running a brothel

1980: Peter Story - jail again, this time for counterfeit gold coins

1981: Kenny Sansom – played for England

1987: Paul Vassen - Drug stuff

1988: Paul Davis - breaking Glenn Cockerill's jaw during a first division game

1989: Paul Merson and Steve Bould are "disciplined by Arsenal" after late night incident at sponsor's function.

1989: Arsenal are fined £20,000 by FA for part in brawl during game against Norwich

1989: Andy Cole - Lightfingers with wallets and stuff in the dressing room apparently

1990: Peter Story - jail again - this time for porn smuggling conviction

1990: Merson, Groves, Winterburn & Richardson sent home from club tour of Singapore following another alleged "late night incident".

1990: Arsenal fined £50,000 by FA and docked two points after Old Trafford brawl. The Club in turn fined manager George Graham two weeks wages after holding him responsible for lack of discipline on the field.

1990: Tony Adams - Jailed on drunk-driving charges.

1991: Paul Merson, Ian Wright and David Seaman charged by FA with misconduct after incidents at end of first division match at Oldham.

1982: Lee Dixon – played for England, and even Adams used to sing “if Dixon plays for England so could I” to him in training

1993: Andy Linaghan makes anti Semitic remarks to Jewish Taxi driver

1993: Ian Wright banned for three games after FA commission upheld charge that he had directed a punch at Tottenham's David Howells during game at White Hart Lane. Commission also fine George Graham £500 for improper remarks to referee Alf Bush after same match.

1994: Paul Merson , probably for a bet or when he was pissed, was sent to drug addiction clinic

1994: David Seamen dumped his Mrs and Kids for some floozy

1994: George Graham's £430,000 bungs first reported

1995: Ray Parlour arrested after punch-up with Hong Kong taxi-driver on a club tour

1995: Graham found guilty by FA inquiry and banned from football for 12 months.

1995: David Hillier charged by police for credit card and luggage theft at airport.

1996: Donkey Adams confesses to his teammates that he is an alcoholic (and
then puts his arm round them telling them they are his best mate).

1996:Nigel Winterburn under investigation by the FA after the police reported him to match officials for making inflammatory gestures towards rival supporters in the wheelchair section

1996: Ian Wright (again) on an FA Misconduct charge for calling Sheffield Wednesday manager David Pleat a pervert.

1996: Arsenal players involved in half-time scuffle with Coventry players in the tunnel & Ian Wright smashes and badly breaks Coventry goalkeeper Steve Ogrizivic's nose

1996. Unfounded & completely untrue rumours circulated about Arsène Wenger being a paedophile! which he most certainly is not.

1998: From the repulsive JVC, they are now sponsored by the Italian word for shite, Sega. Apparently “Arsenal” means something disgusting in most languages

1998: Dutch winger Glenn Helder attempted suicide after becoming a compulsive gambler whilst at Scumbury

1999: Despite "New" Arsenal, they still have the worst disciplinary record in the league

1999: Ian Wright Chicken tonight advert

1999: Graham Rix - Old Gooner instincts die hard, as he joins the rest of his former team mates inside for a spot of under age sex

1999: Sheffield United in the Cup scandal - Typical example of their cheating ethos. It was the 5th round, it was 1-1. A Sheff United striker had gone down after a Grimandi challenge and the ball was cleared, eventually coming through to the United keeper and, as Bergkamp closed in, the keeper cleared into touch so his teammate could receive treatment. There followed a break while the United man got treatment, and was substituted. Parlour then took the throw, but rather than give it back to United, as almost all honourable sportsmen will do, he threw it to Kanu who passed it to Overmars who scored the winner. Evil and wicked

2000: Patrick Viera sent off twice in the space of 2 games for violent conduct.

2000: Arsène Wenger charged with charged with threatening behaviour and physical intimidation of fourth official Paul Taylor

2001: Ray Parlour illegal parking of a caravan

2001: Sol Campbell using a public toilet

2001: Monkey Keown assault charge during a game with Leeds

2001: Viera sent off to 8th time – although to be fair he was having a go at Dennis Wise

2001: Silvinho sold for possessing too much flair, Stepanovs, Grimandi, Luzhny breathe a sigh of relief

2001: Monkey Keown pretends to be elbowed to get Hasselbaink sent off

2001: Viera - cheats to win a penalty against Shalke

2001: Gooner Bin Laden – The world most wanted man is revealed as a Gooner

2001: Pires – caught spitting at Kevin Muscat during a France match

2001: Planning permission for New Scumbury – Years after the Gillespie Road station naming fiasco, the Goons are in league with Islington Council to get planning permission to move to the council rubbish dump. No hint of wrong doing at all as the stadium gets the go-ahead despite:

- Safety concerns at the North end of the complex,

- Real jobs replaced by McJobs as 1,000’s of jobs at risk as the incumbent business have to move

- Transportation problems already present on matchdays to double with the increased capacity (assuming they can fill it)

- SSSI Gillespie Park to be ruined by Bovine Goons going too and from the match.

2002: Goon Prince – Well known Goon Prince Harold has done his level best to make the rest of the goons proud of him by having an underage drink & drugs problem. All he needs now is to develop a gambling problem (which should not be too difficult considering him relatives) and he’ll be a ringer for a young Merson.

2002: Ticket investigation – Parlour was at the centre of an investigation as to how his complimentary tickets ended up in the hands of touts. Police were alerted by the increased number of caravans within the vicinity of the stadium.

2002: Mockney Twat – Jamie Oliver confirmed as a gooner – all those people you really hated – all goons!

2002: Puddin Alert – Semen lets England down against Brazil in the World Cup

2002: Start as you mean to go on – Diving Ashley Cole gets a Birmingham player sent off. Goons win against 10 men

2002: Puddin Alert (2) – Semen & Rsol lets England down against Macedonia in the European Championships

2002: Start as you mean to go on (2) – Diving Ashley Cole gets Davies sent off at Scumbury

2002/03: Much cheating and evil stuff as ever!

2003: Reg Hollis – Serially Dull TV copper admits he is a goon to no-one’s surprise

2003: Prostitute Pennant – Step mum of young goon is a £60 hooker according to the People newspaper

2003: Beast is a Gooner – One of the ugliest women ever to lumber around the planet, Eastenders Sonia Jackson has admitted she is goon which is hardly surprising.

2003: Sex offender Goon – Goon youth team player Marcus Artry jailed for 9 years for sex attacks, inc on minors

2004: Sad Man – Record new signing Reyes declares “I am the saddest man” on hearing he is going to be a Goon and tries to fit in by scoring a spectacular own goal Dixon would be proud of to knock the Goons out of the League Cup in his first game

2004: Cheating Goons and the non penalty – For the first time in history a referee changes a decision because of player protests and it comes as no surprise to see that the goons are the beneficiaries against Fulham

2004: Graham Stack on Rape charge – Another Goon in trouble with the old bill

[The Double]

2004: Sad Man – Record new signing Reyes declares “I am the saddest man” on hearing he is going to be a Goon and tries to fit in by scoring a spectacular own goal Dixon would be proud of to knock the Goons out of the League Cup in his first game

Beautiful.

[Winston Smith]

No disrespect to Motterman, but that's been on my sig list for ages. It's from Jim Duggan's Topspurs site. Click on Arsenal Forum below and it'll take you to that site. Lots of other funny stuff. If you're Spurs...

[mad theory]

it's old, i read it from winstons sig last year.

spurs suffer from a inferior complexity when it involves arsenal.

[babyduck85]

Seriously speaking, once this season is over, it's going to be Chelsea that everyone hates... and it'll probably stay that way for as long as they have RA and more importantly, JM...

So it won't matter anymore if more people hate ManUre or us now, cuz Chelsea will win everything and we'll all be screaming "Sugar daddy!" to console ourselves... Meanwhile the beautiful game will slowly die (in England anyway)

Gee, I'm being a bit melodramatic, huh? Must be cuz I just found out the friend I was supposed to hang out with RIGHT NOW was admitted into the hospital this morning... :( :( :(

[Winston Smith]

I already hate Chelsea. I just HATE Arsenal whereas Chelsea are like an annoying twat at a party you can't get away from (who seems to think you're his rival :rolleyes: ).

Christ last night, hanging round with a bunch of goons on Highbury corner trying to keep a straight face (great result). Only to hear we lost to f-king Bolton. Then all the goons said 'See, we're all in the same boat lads!' and all the yids and goons started hugging which made me feel physically ill and tainted.

Then, to cap the night off, I had to play agony aunt to some poor lost goon going 'you see [sniff] we were never supposed to be there at the top. We played above our game. We're not like Man Utd, we're the same as you boys, we couldn't blow £300 mil on a squad, [even though they've spent £130 mil :rolleyes: ] we're not commercial like Man Utd and f-king Chelsea [LOL!]. I just want football to be like it used to be without this domination.' Jumpers for goalposts etc. etc.

Absolutely hilarious, this time last year when no one could beat the scum where were the whinging gooners then? Oh yes, I remember, moaning about how the press never accept them and no one liked them.


Same old Arsenal,
Always Whinging!

[Motterman]

http://gallery.euphorics.net/uploads/united/97265374wenger.jpg

hehe...

[The Double]

http://gallery.euphorics.net/uploads/united/97265374wenger.jpg

hehe...

A friend of mine wears that shirt all of the time. Wenger is such a kid-toucher.

[Winston Smith]

I want that T shirt.

[Catfish]

A friend of mine wears that shirt all of the time. Wenger is such a kid-toucher.

Are you kidding me? This has to be a slanderous rumor, right?

[The Double]

Are you kidding me? This has to be a slanderous rumor, right?

Hah.

[mis-e-one]

Are you kidding me? This has to be a slanderous rumor, right?

Of course it's slanderous. I doubt any Spurs fan (the people who started the rumour) could ever substantiate such a claim.

Calling a rival manager a paedophile simply because you hate the team he manages is rather low IMO. That's taking football rivalry too far!