panicfc
30 Dec 2004, 12:14 PM
Also lifted from Sarf, but once again with his permission:
===================================
Having slated the team and manager in recent weeks, I thought I'd concentrate my efforts on another area which REALLY annoys me. Yes, it's the WHUFC official website. They peddle tripe from a wide range of sources, mainly our own first team or ex-stars who now feature regularly on radio and TV stations. This tripe is supposed to inspire us, and trick us into not realising exactly how bad we really are.
To prove my point, I did some basic data analysis on news headlines for the five months since August '04. What a load of positivity and upbeat nonsense it really is. Here is a brief summary of my findings:
9 POSITIVES (ALMOST ONE PER DEFEAT):
25/08/2004 PLENTY OF POSITIVES
21/09/2004 MATTIE POSITIVE
08/09/2004 CHRISTIAN POSITIVE
26/10/2004 PARDS POSITIVE
04/10/2004 PETER POSITIVE
19/11/2004 PARDS POSITIVE FOR LIONS CLASH
05/11/2004 NIGEL: WE'RE POSITIVE
17/12/2004 POSITIVE PARDS HEADS FOR PRESTON
09/12/2004 STEVE'S STAYING POSITIVE
9 DELIGHTS (PLUS VARIATIONS, I.E. DELIGHTFUL SURPRISE) :
23/08/2004 MARLON'S DELIGHT
16/08/2004 ANTON'S DELIGHT
04/08/2004 LUKE'S DELIGHTFUL SURPRISE
23/09/2004 ALAN'S DELIGHT AT DRAW
07/10/2004 NIGEL: SURPRISE AND DELIGHT
29/11/2004 ALAN’S COMEBACK DELIGHT
20/11/2004 MAURICIO'S UPTON PARK DELIGHT
19/11/2004 ALAN'S DELIGHT AT TARICCO CAPTURE
07/11/2004 DON'S DELIGHT
8 GOODS (3 FROM TONY GALE):
31/08/2004 TONY: A GOOD DEAL
25/08/2004 RICHARD'S GOOD DAY
18/08/2004 A GOOD BET
16/08/2004 TONY: A GOOD EXPERIENCE
06/09/2004 TONY: A GOOD MOVE
21/10/2004 NIGEL: A GOOD WIN
20/10/2004 ALAN - A GOOD REACTION
19/10/2004 PETER: A GOOD RESPONSE
5 DETERMINED:
27/09/2004 MALKY: BOYS DETERMINED
18/10/2004 LUKE DETERMINED
26/11/2004 DARREN’S DETERMINED DEBUT
05/11/2004 MARK DETERMINED
05/11/2004 ANDY DETERMINED
3 HOPES:
25/10/2004 BOBBY'S HOPE (ONE OF THE TWO HOPES WE HAVE!)
22/10/2004 MALKY'S HOPE
10/12/2004 HAYDEN HOPES TO RETURN
3 UNLUCKYS:
29/08/2004 CHRIS: I WAS UNLUCKY
29/09/2004 KEVIN: WE WERE UNLUCKY
04/11/2004 KEVIN: WE WERE UNLUCKY (HE DON'T STOP BLOODY MOANING!)
2 CONFIDENTS:
20/11/2004 BYWATER'S KEEPING CONFIDENT
02/11/2004 CALUM CONFIDENT (ON RETURNING TO SPURS)
6 AIMS (ALL MISSED, INCIDENTALLY):
06/08/2004 ANDY'S AIM
29/09/2004 PETER'S AIM
18/10/2004 ALAN'S ANNIVERSARY AIM
07/10/2004 SERGEI'S INTERNATIONAL AIM
01/11/2004 ALAN'S AIM
09/12/2004 ALAN'S SECOND HALF AIM
3 BATTLE CRIES:
03/08/2004 BATTLE COMMENCES FOR CHRIS
11/09/2004 LUDO: LET BATTLE COMMENCE
25/10/2004 MALKY'S BATTLE
7 x PLAY UP THE OPPOSITION IN CASE IT ALL GOES WRONG:
19/08/2004 ALAN'S TOUGH WEEK
25/09/2004 NIGEL: IT WAS TOUGH
29/10/2004 ALAN'S TOUGH DECISION
21/10/2004 RUFUS: TOUGH ONE AHEAD
08/10/2004 ANDY'S TOUGH GAME?
11/11/2004 PETER EXPECTS TOUGH TEST
01/12/2004 TONY EXPECTS TOUGH TIE
6 x POINT OUT THE BLEEDIN' OBVIOUS:
17/08/2004 LUKE: HARD WORK AHEAD
04/08/2004 ALAN LOOKS AHEAD
25/09/2004 HAYDEN: IMPORTANT TIME AHEAD
21/10/2004 RUFUS: TOUGH ONE AHEAD
12/10/2004 TIM LOOKS AHEAD
25/09/2004 HAYDEN: IMPORTANT TIME AHEAD
5 x PRESSURE AND RELIEF:
14/09/2004 CALUM: I CAN TAKE PRESSURE
25/10/2004 HAYDEN: PRESSURE OFF
29/08/2004 ADAM'S RELIEF
20/09/2004 LUKE'S RELIEF
17/09/2004 LOMY'S RELIEF
1 x UPBEAT PARDEW
20/09/2004 ALAN UPBEAT (A FEW DAYS BEFORE LOSING TO FOREST!)
As part of my brief study into regular data patterns found in the WHUFC tripe archive, I thought it'd be interesting to discover exactly WHO peddles the MOST tripe. You'll be shocked to see who's number 1:
ALAN PARDEW 52
PETER GRANT 22
TONY'S GALE and COTTEE 20
CHRIS POWELL 17
MATTHEW ETHERINGTON 17
LUKE CHADWICK 16
STEVE LOMAS 14
SERGEI REBROV 13
MALKY MACKAY 12
NIGEL REO-COKER 12
ANTON FERDINAND 10
BOBBY ZAMORA 9
CARL FLETCHER 9
ADAM NOWLAND 8
CALUM DAVIDSON 8
MARLON PEARHEAD 8
RUFUS BREVETT 8
TEDDY SHERINGHAM 8
HAYDEN MULLINS 6
JAMES WALKER 6
ANDY MELVILLE 5
DON HUTCHISON 5
KEVIN KEEN 5
STEPHEN BYWATER 5
CHRISTIAN DAILLY 4
DARREN FLETCHER 3
JOBI MCANUFF 3
MARK NOBLE 3
RICHARD GARCIA 3
TRENT MCLENEHAN 3
ELLIOT WARD 2
GAVIN WILLIAMS 2
LUDO MIKLOSKO 2
MAURICCIO TARICCO 2
GEORGE PARRIS 1
GREG PEARSON 1
HANNU TIHIHIHIHINEN 1
MARK WARD 1
MICHAEL CARRICK 1
MOSES ASHIOKIDOKI 1
RIO FERDINAND 1
THOMAS REPKA 1
YOUSSEF SOFIANE 1
So a grand total of 94 quotes in half a season from Pardew, Grant, Cottee and Gale combined. That's a lot of tripe in anyone's language.
You'd be interested to know that none of the following words appeared in ANY headline:
TERRIBLE
BAD
AWFUL
DIABOLICAL
FRUSTRATED
FRUSTRATING
UNACCEPTABLE
DIRE
W*NKERS
F*(KWITS
F*(KWIT
Interesting eh? Maybe not!!!
Sarf
===================================
Having slated the team and manager in recent weeks, I thought I'd concentrate my efforts on another area which REALLY annoys me. Yes, it's the WHUFC official website. They peddle tripe from a wide range of sources, mainly our own first team or ex-stars who now feature regularly on radio and TV stations. This tripe is supposed to inspire us, and trick us into not realising exactly how bad we really are.
To prove my point, I did some basic data analysis on news headlines for the five months since August '04. What a load of positivity and upbeat nonsense it really is. Here is a brief summary of my findings:
9 POSITIVES (ALMOST ONE PER DEFEAT):
25/08/2004 PLENTY OF POSITIVES
21/09/2004 MATTIE POSITIVE
08/09/2004 CHRISTIAN POSITIVE
26/10/2004 PARDS POSITIVE
04/10/2004 PETER POSITIVE
19/11/2004 PARDS POSITIVE FOR LIONS CLASH
05/11/2004 NIGEL: WE'RE POSITIVE
17/12/2004 POSITIVE PARDS HEADS FOR PRESTON
09/12/2004 STEVE'S STAYING POSITIVE
9 DELIGHTS (PLUS VARIATIONS, I.E. DELIGHTFUL SURPRISE) :
23/08/2004 MARLON'S DELIGHT
16/08/2004 ANTON'S DELIGHT
04/08/2004 LUKE'S DELIGHTFUL SURPRISE
23/09/2004 ALAN'S DELIGHT AT DRAW
07/10/2004 NIGEL: SURPRISE AND DELIGHT
29/11/2004 ALAN’S COMEBACK DELIGHT
20/11/2004 MAURICIO'S UPTON PARK DELIGHT
19/11/2004 ALAN'S DELIGHT AT TARICCO CAPTURE
07/11/2004 DON'S DELIGHT
8 GOODS (3 FROM TONY GALE):
31/08/2004 TONY: A GOOD DEAL
25/08/2004 RICHARD'S GOOD DAY
18/08/2004 A GOOD BET
16/08/2004 TONY: A GOOD EXPERIENCE
06/09/2004 TONY: A GOOD MOVE
21/10/2004 NIGEL: A GOOD WIN
20/10/2004 ALAN - A GOOD REACTION
19/10/2004 PETER: A GOOD RESPONSE
5 DETERMINED:
27/09/2004 MALKY: BOYS DETERMINED
18/10/2004 LUKE DETERMINED
26/11/2004 DARREN’S DETERMINED DEBUT
05/11/2004 MARK DETERMINED
05/11/2004 ANDY DETERMINED
3 HOPES:
25/10/2004 BOBBY'S HOPE (ONE OF THE TWO HOPES WE HAVE!)
22/10/2004 MALKY'S HOPE
10/12/2004 HAYDEN HOPES TO RETURN
3 UNLUCKYS:
29/08/2004 CHRIS: I WAS UNLUCKY
29/09/2004 KEVIN: WE WERE UNLUCKY
04/11/2004 KEVIN: WE WERE UNLUCKY (HE DON'T STOP BLOODY MOANING!)
2 CONFIDENTS:
20/11/2004 BYWATER'S KEEPING CONFIDENT
02/11/2004 CALUM CONFIDENT (ON RETURNING TO SPURS)
6 AIMS (ALL MISSED, INCIDENTALLY):
06/08/2004 ANDY'S AIM
29/09/2004 PETER'S AIM
18/10/2004 ALAN'S ANNIVERSARY AIM
07/10/2004 SERGEI'S INTERNATIONAL AIM
01/11/2004 ALAN'S AIM
09/12/2004 ALAN'S SECOND HALF AIM
3 BATTLE CRIES:
03/08/2004 BATTLE COMMENCES FOR CHRIS
11/09/2004 LUDO: LET BATTLE COMMENCE
25/10/2004 MALKY'S BATTLE
7 x PLAY UP THE OPPOSITION IN CASE IT ALL GOES WRONG:
19/08/2004 ALAN'S TOUGH WEEK
25/09/2004 NIGEL: IT WAS TOUGH
29/10/2004 ALAN'S TOUGH DECISION
21/10/2004 RUFUS: TOUGH ONE AHEAD
08/10/2004 ANDY'S TOUGH GAME?
11/11/2004 PETER EXPECTS TOUGH TEST
01/12/2004 TONY EXPECTS TOUGH TIE
6 x POINT OUT THE BLEEDIN' OBVIOUS:
17/08/2004 LUKE: HARD WORK AHEAD
04/08/2004 ALAN LOOKS AHEAD
25/09/2004 HAYDEN: IMPORTANT TIME AHEAD
21/10/2004 RUFUS: TOUGH ONE AHEAD
12/10/2004 TIM LOOKS AHEAD
25/09/2004 HAYDEN: IMPORTANT TIME AHEAD
5 x PRESSURE AND RELIEF:
14/09/2004 CALUM: I CAN TAKE PRESSURE
25/10/2004 HAYDEN: PRESSURE OFF
29/08/2004 ADAM'S RELIEF
20/09/2004 LUKE'S RELIEF
17/09/2004 LOMY'S RELIEF
1 x UPBEAT PARDEW
20/09/2004 ALAN UPBEAT (A FEW DAYS BEFORE LOSING TO FOREST!)
As part of my brief study into regular data patterns found in the WHUFC tripe archive, I thought it'd be interesting to discover exactly WHO peddles the MOST tripe. You'll be shocked to see who's number 1:
ALAN PARDEW 52
PETER GRANT 22
TONY'S GALE and COTTEE 20
CHRIS POWELL 17
MATTHEW ETHERINGTON 17
LUKE CHADWICK 16
STEVE LOMAS 14
SERGEI REBROV 13
MALKY MACKAY 12
NIGEL REO-COKER 12
ANTON FERDINAND 10
BOBBY ZAMORA 9
CARL FLETCHER 9
ADAM NOWLAND 8
CALUM DAVIDSON 8
MARLON PEARHEAD 8
RUFUS BREVETT 8
TEDDY SHERINGHAM 8
HAYDEN MULLINS 6
JAMES WALKER 6
ANDY MELVILLE 5
DON HUTCHISON 5
KEVIN KEEN 5
STEPHEN BYWATER 5
CHRISTIAN DAILLY 4
DARREN FLETCHER 3
JOBI MCANUFF 3
MARK NOBLE 3
RICHARD GARCIA 3
TRENT MCLENEHAN 3
ELLIOT WARD 2
GAVIN WILLIAMS 2
LUDO MIKLOSKO 2
MAURICCIO TARICCO 2
GEORGE PARRIS 1
GREG PEARSON 1
HANNU TIHIHIHIHINEN 1
MARK WARD 1
MICHAEL CARRICK 1
MOSES ASHIOKIDOKI 1
RIO FERDINAND 1
THOMAS REPKA 1
YOUSSEF SOFIANE 1
So a grand total of 94 quotes in half a season from Pardew, Grant, Cottee and Gale combined. That's a lot of tripe in anyone's language.
You'd be interested to know that none of the following words appeared in ANY headline:
TERRIBLE
BAD
AWFUL
DIABOLICAL
FRUSTRATED
FRUSTRATING
UNACCEPTABLE
DIRE
W*NKERS
F*(KWITS
F*(KWIT
Interesting eh? Maybe not!!!
Sarf