The Revolution Will Not Be Televised (next week)

[Darth Norteño]

You will not be able to stay home, DC.
You will not be able to phone in, drag on and drop out.
You will not be able to lose this game at home and skip out for beer with the Barras because
The Revolution will not be televised.

The Revolution will not be televised,
The Revolution will not be brought to you by MLS sponsors in its entirety without commercial interruption.
The Revolution will not show you pictures of Steve Nicol blowing a plastic horn and leading a charge by Joe Franchino, Rusty Pierce and Jay Heaps to eat crab legs confiscated from an Eastern Market sanctuary.
The Revolution will not be televised.

The Revolution will not be brought to you by the American Broadcasting Company and will not star Lorrie Fair and Eric Wynalda, or Rob Stone and Marcelo Balboa.
The Revolution will not give their fans reason to cheer.
The Revolution will not get rid of their score deficit.
The Revolution will not make Nicol look 5 pounds thinner because
The Revolution will not be televised, brother.

There will be no pictures of you and Shalrie Joseph chasing the ball down the wing on the dead run, or trying to slide a low cross through the penalty area. ABC will not be able to predict the winner at 75:30 or report from the touchlines.
The Revolution will not be televised.

There will be no pictures of pigs shooting down crosses in an open net.
There will be no pictures of pigs shooting down crosses in an open net.
There will be no pictures of Jose Cancela being run out of LA on the bus, with a brand-new trophy.
There will be no slow-motion or still-life of Taylor Twellman strolling through Carson in a red, white and blue Championship T-shirt that has been printed for just the proper occasion.

Green Celtics, the Boston Red Sox, and New England Patriots will continue to be so damned relevant, and people will no longer care if Sean Wheelock finally got down with Alexi Lalas on MLS Wrap, because black jerseys will be on the pitch looking for a brighter day.
The Revolution will not be televised.

There will be no highlights on the Boston eleven-o'clock news and no pictures of hairy-armed womanly midfielders and Jack Jewsbury blowing his nose. The theme song will not be written by Lost Prophets or Yellowcard, nor sung by Paulina Rubio, Third Eye Blind, Christina Aguilera, Justin Guarini or Ashlee Simpson.
The Revolution will not be televised.

The Revolution will not be right back after a message about white change jerseys, white touchlines or white people in Boston. You will not have to worry about the dive in your area, a tackle at your legs or the jackass with the yellow shirt. The Revolution will not go better with Sierra Mist. The Revolution will not fight hard and will cry like girls. The Revolution will put DC in the title game.

The Revolution will not be televised,
will not be televised,
will not be televised,
will not be televised,
The Revolution will only be a rerun, brother.
Because DC will UNITE.




(That took me a while, but I figured it was appropriate for the forthcoming game...complete with new av.)

[NattyBo]

So uh, if it will not be televised, what about us poor suckers AT the game who are taping it? ;)

[Darth Norteño]

So uh, if it will not be televised, what about us poor suckers AT the game who are taping it? ;)

That's why Gil Scott-Heron never said anything about the revolution not being DVR'd and bootlegged. :D

[Bootsy Collins]

You will not be able to stay home, DC.
You will not be able to phone in, drag on and drop out.
You will not be able to lose this game at home and skip out for beer with the Barras because
The Revolution will not be televised.

< snip >

(That took me a while, but I figured it was appropriate for the forthcoming game...complete with new av.)

I've seen people do stuff with this song before, but never as well. Seriously. This was so very good that I had to try to add on to the same theme. Nowhere near as good as yours, but . . .

DC Won The Match, sung by an anonymous Revs player
(taken from Gil Scott-Heron's "Whitey on the Moon")

Those guys in black just scored again,
and DC won the match.
All their shots keep goin' in,
and DC won the match.
Nicol don't know what to do,
and DC won the match.
The Midnight Riders've never been so blue,
and DC won the match.

Jaime's playing turned out our lights,
and DC won the match.
No good passing, no scoring, no fight,
and DC won the match.
Twellman's shooting got so poor,
and DC won the match.
Might as well've started Joe-Max Moore,
and DC won the match.

Matt Reis can't get off the deck,
Alecko makin' me a nervous wreck,
Jay Heaps simply isn't tough,
and as if all that crap wasn't enough,
those guys in black just scored again,
and DC won the match.
All their shots keep goin' in,
and DC won the match.
With all that rep we give to Ralston,
and DC won the match,
how come we win no Cups in Boston?
Hmmm. DC won the match!
You know, I jus'bout had my fill
of DC won the match.
I guess I'll spend the wintertime
cold forgettin'
How DC won the match.

[Darth Norteño]

Hahaha, very nice. The Ralston rhyme is money. :D

[Pints]

So uh, if it will not be televised, what about us poor suckers AT the game who are taping it? ;)


Actually it is televised FSW. Though this is no excuse nto to come to the Conference Finals (not you Natty I am SURE you will be there ;)

Sat Nov 06 04:00PM Pacific
Sat Nov 06 05:00PM Mountain
Sat Nov 06 06:00PM Central
Sat Nov 06 07:00PM Eastern
Length: 2 hr 30 min LIVE
FOX Sports World (US)
Major League Soccer (MLS) - EAST Semifinal
Washington DC vs New England

[BBBulldog]

blah I was hoping it's on Comcast

Comcast > FSW

[Darth Norteño]

Somehow I think the humor of this thread has been lost on all but Bootsy.

[LN - Dougg]

Somehow I think the humor of this thread has been lost on all but Bootsy.

To quote the Washington Post..

"When you don't get it... you don't get it..."

[Bootsy Collins]

Somehow I think the humor of this thread has been lost on all but Bootsy.

Well, sadly, neither are they very famous songs 35 years later, nor he a famous performer. Very sadly.

[delo_pata]

Somehow I think the humor of this thread has been lost on all but Bootsy.

Nah, I'm old enough to have gotten it right away, too. The first post and the Whitey on the Moon post were absolutely brilliant!

[Pints]

Nah we got it, I just thought you were doing a connection between the lyrics and the fact that at an earlier time the match wasn't going to be televised. I thought you were straddling two horses. Killing two birds with one creative stone.

[Darth Norteño]

Well, yeah, but I figured everybody knew it would be on FSW. I was just saying that they're not gonna be televised on the MLS Cup. :D

[MikeLastort2]

Somehow I think the humor of this thread has been lost on all but Bootsy.Ahem.

There's at least one other person who got it.

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000002WAW.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

[BBBulldog]

Somehow I think the humor of this thread has been lost on all but Bootsy.

we got it, we just derailed it :p

[Darth Norteño]

Hahaha, what did I tell ya? I even had the banner to prove it! :D