A freakish thing happened the other day...

[blackjack]

So I was playing a HS match, and about 30 seconds in I made a comment to the AR about an offside decision. It was not offensive, and it was not worthy of a yellow card for dissent. But instead of just telling me to hush up, or calling the center over to tag me, he simply threw down his flag and walked over to the bench to sit and pout, saying

"I'm so sick of you f***ing prima donna players, thinking you know so much about the game, pretending you're f***ing experts. Here, you ref. Take the flag. I'm done. No wonder nobody wants to do this ******** anymore!"

So the center stopped the game, talked to him a bit, and eventually he decided to continue. However, he was obviously biased against my team for the rest of the game, and made a complete mockery of me and our coach. What would you do in this situation?? As a center, if you deem an AR's performance unacceptable, can you send him away and go 2-man for the rest of the match?? Suspending the match was not an option because it was a tournament game. I am especially anxious because this guy works in my area all the time, and I am afraid I might land in a similar situation with him as my AR. Any opinions??

[Caesar]

Certainly a referee can relieve an assistant of their duties, but if it's an official assistant he'd better have a good reason for doing so. What with all the expletives (in a HS game, no less) I'd probably chuck him for that alone, let alone the rest of it. Absolutely appalling behaviour.

An assistant throwing a hissy fit like this is pretty unusual. How old were they? Something like this is certainly strange, but there could be a bunch of reasons. Maybe the assistant was having a bad day, maybe they'd just finished a game with players who whinged non-stop. I know the fact that the game had only been going 30 seconds and a player was already starting to whinge would be enough to tick me off to a degree. None of this is condoning what happened, but they're possible reasons.

As for unfairness; although this is disgraceful behaviour, it's not really an indication in itself that there's any bias - merely that the assistant has a pretty short temper (by the sounds of things, although he put on a show there was no caution). Of course, that is by no means to say that they weren't biased. If you truly feel that is the case you should talk to your coach and submit a report to the relevant authourities.

Bad luck on the day, although on the bright side - if the assistant is really that sick of whinging players they probably won't be around for much longer.

[HoldenMan]

I can't really add much to Caeser on this one

What did you say to him, if you don't mind?

[Ref Flunkie]

Being the smart arse that I am, I may have grabbed the flag, gotten on the line, and started to run it (if I was the player). :) I am curious how old this person was. If they are that touchy about being criticized (assuming your description of your manner is true), then as Caesar said, they won't be around for much longer.

I have never ejected my AR before, but I've thought about it in passing.

[blackjack]

He was an older guy, probably 40-50. I told him "if you're gonna put your flag up you've got the ball too and not just the last line."

[njref]

[QUOTE= I told him "if you're gonna put your flag up you've got the ball too and not just the last line."[/QUOTE]

Huh?

Maybe he got mad because he knew you were being critical but he didn't know what you meant.

[blackjack]

He was an older guy, probably 40-50. I told him "if you're gonna put your flag up you've got the ball too and not just the last line."

Sorry. "If you're gonna put your flag up, you've got to watch the ball too and not just the last line."

[Ref Flunkie]

Huh?

Maybe he got mad because he knew you were being critical but he didn't know what you meant.


LOL....smart arse ;). Yeah the guy needs to toughen up a bit.

[whitehound]

Sorry. "If you're gonna put your flag up, you've got to watch the ball too and not just the last line."
Im mad at the guy for not waving the center over and shutting you up. I wouldnt mess with him anymore. But then again you should know there is nothing to be gained from screwing with a reff. It just makes us nervous and we screw up more!

[whitehound]

Sorry. "If you're gonna put your flag up, you've got to watch the ball too and not just the last line."
By the way, a good AR doesnt see much of the game and doesnt watch the ball. They watch the second to last defender and either LISTEN for the touch or watch out of the corner of their eye. EIther way you wont see most of the game.

[Ref Flunkie]

By the way, a good AR doesnt see much of the game and doesnt watch the ball. They watch the second to last defender and either LISTEN for the touch or watch out of the corner of their eye. EIther way you wont see most of the game.


I think our players point (I could be wrong) is that the ball also is considered in offside and if the player is behind the ball, he is onside. That would be my impression if I heard that comment.

[Red Star]

Sorry. "If you're gonna put your flag up, you've got to watch the ball too and not just the last line."

I think that if you are talking to the AR like this AFTER ONLY 30 SECONDS you deserved worse than you got. What exactly do you expect when you insult people, flowers and smiles?

The point is that your actions do not occur in a vacum, you should expect a reaction.

[Ref Flunkie]

It allllllllll depends how it was said. He should have expected a reaction, such as "You play, I'll referee...", etc. However, an AR going to pout on the bench is not a reaction that should be expected :)

[blackjack]

Yes, I understand that my comments were a bit out of line for such an early point in the game. However, as a player AND a referee, I am able to see both sides of the issue. It's true I shouldn't have said anything, but if I were reffing I certainly would have just given the player a verbal warning and moved on. That's the problem with being a player/ref, I feel like since I see both sides I can be more justified in dissenting as a player. That gets me in trouble quite frequently. :cool:

[BC_Ref]

It allllllllll depends how it was said. He should have expected a reaction, such as "You play, I'll referee...", etc. However, an AR going to pout on the bench is not a reaction that should be expected :)

Pouting on the bench is not acceptable. When I'm acting as CR, I'll protect my assistants - I'll deal with coaches as and when needed. But this behaviour was bizarre.

Although I've encountered one AR who I've come close to dismissing at half for sheer lack of effort. He essentially was acting as a club AR - didn't bother consistently staying with the 2nd last defender. This was blinding obvious a number of times when I was trying to find him and had to look behind me (relative to the play) instead of in front.

[chrisrun]

Yes, I understand that my comments were a bit out of line for such an early point in the game. However, as a player AND a referee, I am able to see both sides of the issue. It's true I shouldn't have said anything, but if I were reffing I certainly would have just given the player a verbal warning and moved on. That's the problem with being a player/ref, I feel like since I see both sides I can be more justified in dissenting as a player. That gets me in trouble quite frequently. :cool:

Hey, everybody has a bad day. Who knows what happened with this AR before the game. Maybe he just got fired from his job and was just ready to snap at the first thing anyone said. Who knows...

Should he have snapped at that comment? No. Was it professional? No. Is reffing this guy's livelyhood? I doubt it. It was just a HS AR having a bad day. His judgement and demeaner were obviously influenced by factors outside the soccer game. Hopefully he'll bounce back...

[whitehound]

Yes, I understand that my comments were a bit out of line for such an early point in the game. However, as a player AND a referee, I am able to see both sides of the issue. It's true I shouldn't have said anything, but if I were reffing I certainly would have just given the player a verbal warning and moved on. That's the problem with being a player/ref, I feel like since I see both sides I can be more justified in dissenting as a player. That gets me in trouble quite frequently. :cool:I got more red cards when I played then I care to admit. But after becomeing a referee and tasting the wine myself I am one of the most forgving players you will find. I know it is hard in the heat of the moment but think about how you would feel in his shoes at the time. CHances are, you are going to say "I would do better then him" but dont let that affect your conduct. If you have a very quiet, respectfull, educated word with a reff he might listen....if you smart off and are the least offensive he is probably not going to listen no matter how right you are.

[ProfZodiac]

Being the smart arse that I am, I may have grabbed the flag, gotten on the line, and started to run it (if I was the player). :) I am curious how old this person was. If they are that touchy about being criticized (assuming your description of your manner is true), then as Caesar said, they won't be around for much longer.

I have never ejected my AR before, but I've thought about it in passing.
I'd've picked up the flag too, but after my first season refereeing, my mouth was always shut on the field.

I've tossed an AR, but he was a club AR who was pretty clearly disgruntled.