chad
12 Jul 2004, 09:24 PM
1. Accept material gifts from your students, whether it's a bag of candy, pot, or Bears tickets. Do not solicit gifts, but take them if offered.
2. Guy grad students should not sleep with faculty, straight or gay.
3. Do not date other grad students, especially in your discipline. Suppose romance works out -- when job market time comes, you are screwed super-duper-ly. Better to find true love with people in professional schools. They might make money and have flexibility in living locations.
4. Never spend time preparing for class. Neither the students nor the faculty expect you to. Also, if you need to, then you probably aren't smart enough (this excludes necessary evils like labs and problem sets of course. But if, e.g., you need to prepare a lecture on Wittgenstein, you're in a world of trouble if you want to be a philosopher).
5. Say naughty words. The kids eat that up. Or they "turn you in", in which case be sure to mock such tattle-tales in front of all your students. The loser will drop your class at this time and allow you to seem even cooler.
6. If a friend of yours is dating a student, don't worry about the grade you give the kid. You're not expected to give out an A. Why not? Well, because if your friend is smart, he knows rule 7:
7. Hold out for "the hot anal sex" before you sleep with an undergrad. If that's not your bag, just be sure to hold out for something hot. If a student has the guts to go after you, you've already won.
Now, go learn and dissertate!
2. Guy grad students should not sleep with faculty, straight or gay.
3. Do not date other grad students, especially in your discipline. Suppose romance works out -- when job market time comes, you are screwed super-duper-ly. Better to find true love with people in professional schools. They might make money and have flexibility in living locations.
4. Never spend time preparing for class. Neither the students nor the faculty expect you to. Also, if you need to, then you probably aren't smart enough (this excludes necessary evils like labs and problem sets of course. But if, e.g., you need to prepare a lecture on Wittgenstein, you're in a world of trouble if you want to be a philosopher).
5. Say naughty words. The kids eat that up. Or they "turn you in", in which case be sure to mock such tattle-tales in front of all your students. The loser will drop your class at this time and allow you to seem even cooler.
6. If a friend of yours is dating a student, don't worry about the grade you give the kid. You're not expected to give out an A. Why not? Well, because if your friend is smart, he knows rule 7:
7. Hold out for "the hot anal sex" before you sleep with an undergrad. If that's not your bag, just be sure to hold out for something hot. If a student has the guts to go after you, you've already won.
Now, go learn and dissertate!