San Jose Earthquakes: One Trick Pony

[Topper]

This is a sad tale. A tale of a team that MLS felt sorry for, and gave them "you suck" allocations year after year, like foodstamps to the poor. Then the league gave them the Baby Jesus of American soccer, who shined like the child prodigy he was. Lately, however, the shining is off the young man's rapidly balding head, and the weight of the team's suckiness is taking its toll on "Perfect Landin' " Donovan. Evidence you ask? Let's take Saturday's game in which the impotent, hopeless, incredible-combination-of-aged/experienced-youthful/invigorated-fused-with-100%-Grade "A" Suck, DC United, kicked the piss out of the Earthquakes. Donovan provided the only 2 goals of the match for the AssCakes, and without the Boy Bound for Germany, the Earthquakes are destined to return to their baseline submediocrity. The more likely scenario, however, is that MLS will pull the plug on professional soccer in Sad Jose altogether, which is fitting since Bay Area fans, all 16 of them, seemingly don't even give a crap enough to show up to watch a championship caliber team.

The oh-so-brief glory days of the ClashQuakes are over, and if Saturday's result doesn't offer evidence of such, let's look at this:

2002 Champions Cup: early exit to Mexican team

2002 US Open Cup: Galaxy's bitch, even in "Fort Yallop", :rolleyes: better known as MLS's AYSO field. Third time that LA has punked San Jose out of the tournament.

2002 Western Conference: (pending) loses to LA

2002 Supporters Cup: (pending) loses to LA

2002 MLS Cup: San Jose bows out in 1st round of playoffs. LA goes on to win (finally). Donovan and Tristin pack bags and hop on plane to Germany, giggling about "mile high club" as they board.

Topper

xxx ooo

[Topper]

http://www.mlsnet.com/content/02/pow0903ruiz.html

...One more reason why the Galaxy is making bitches of you all....

:p

Topper

xxx ooo

[ruudboy]

We were in the same boat this time last year, and you know the rest my Southern foe, and the Galaxatives are far from being even considered a champion hopeful.

[Wizardscharter]

Originally posted by Topper
http://www.mlsnet.com/content/02/pow0903ruiz.html

...One more reason why the Galaxy is making bitches of you all....
LA has spit series against 7 of 9 teams in the league. Only Chicago hasn't beaten LA. That's not anywhere near "making bitches of you all". More like, "one bad game away from another long plane ride home".

You should have deleted the listing of who has won the PotW this year. It just points out that almost every team in the league has had MORE players win it than LA has had (1-Ruiz).

LA's just an elbow away from being dc.

[Eric B]

Originally posted by wizardscharter
LA has spit series against 7 of 9 teams in the league. Only Chicago hasn't beaten LA. That's not anywhere near "making bitches of you all". More like, "one bad game away from another long plane ride home".

Haven't been paying attention to results from the last two months, have you?

You should have deleted the listing of who has won the PotW this year. It just points out that almost every team in the league has had MORE players win it than LA has had (1-Ruiz).

And yet, none of them have a better record than the Galaxy. How odd...

[Topper]

Originally posted by ruudboy
.....the Galaxatives are far from being even considered a champion hopeful.

Of course, LA is only tied for first place, yet they're "far from being even considered a champion hopeful".

ruudboy, please end the Glue Sniff-a-thon.

:rolleyes:

Topper

[Topper]

And yet there is an almost eerie bond between the two. Although they had their sibling arguments, Landon has such faith in Tristan that he has told her if he ever brings home a girlfriend she -doesn't approve of, he will break up the next day.

"I don't know if you can print this," Landon says, "but when she had her period, my stomach ached all night."

This is not an "almost eerie bond"

This is a "********ing sick, grotesque eerie bond".

But I'm sure that's quite acceptable in the Bay Area.

:rolleyes:

Topper

[ruudboy]

You had the best record last year, and what happened?

We still get to play a couple of more times, i like my chances, you guys are King of choke, right?

[Dan Loney]

Originally posted by ruudboy
You had the best record last year, and what happened?Yeah, Fusion Fan, what happened?

[ruudboy]

Well 9-11 happened and the Blue Blacks put it your mouth and took a picture, how could you forget!

[Topper]

Originally posted by ruudboy
Well 9-11 happened and the Blue Blacks put it your mouth and took a picture, how could you forget!

Are those the same Blue Blacks that ankle-grabbed for the Poloroid in the USOC and Champions Cup in 2002?

Right.

[ruudboy]

No, not at all, who were those guys?

[Dan Loney]

Originally posted by ruudboy
Well 9-11 happened and the Blue Blacks put it your mouth and took a picture, how could you forget! I keep forgetting, 9/11 was all about the Earthquakes.

"Blue Blacks"?

[TommyMack]

Are you claiming that 9/11 was responsible for San Jose winning only by a Golden Goal in SECOND OVERTIME?

Yo, lay off the shrooms or you're gonna let the evildoers win.

Tommy Mack

PS: I'd like to remind you that 99% of the porn you buy comes from Los Angeles. Don't piss us off or you'll only have the "bra ads" from the JC Penny catalog.

[Garcia]

Originally posted by MommyMack
PS: I'd like to remind you that 99% of the porn you buy comes from Los Angeles. Don't piss us off Self-inflected momsmack?

[HalaMadrid]

If the Quakes blow their at-one-time considerable lead over the rest of the league, will they blame it on Landon Donovan's menstural pains?

[TommyMack]

No, Garcia. It's all about your father in this one.


Besides, for a porno to involve my mom would involve a healthy dose of necrophilia... so are you saying that's what you're into? Sick, man. Sick. But if it works for ya...

Tommy Mack

[Topper]

Oh Sh!t. Garcia is on my thread.

It's like finding out that your house has termites.

:p

Topper

:D

[SwissGCZ]

Originally posted by Garcia
Self-inflected momsmack?
How nice of you to drop by. Did you put the Mexican posters back in their strollers in your absence?

[SwissGCZ]

Originally posted by TommySchmuck

Besides, for a porno to involve my mom would involve a healthy dose of necrophilia... so are you saying that's what you're into? Sick, man. Sick. But if it works for ya...

Welcome to the rivalry board...

Get ready for Garcia to lay your mom. Dead? No matter, he will skull-******** the bitch.
Originally posted by Topper

Oh Sh!t. Garcia is on my thread.

It's like finding out that your house has termites.

Don't talk like that about your dad.

http://www.boomspeed.com/gczfan/swat.jpg

RivalG - Mi culo me pica en estos pantalones