(un)Official DC United vs Chicago Fire PRE Match Thread [Banter]

[McOwen]

DC United vs Chicago Fire

• Date & Time :: Saturday, April 24 @ 5:00pm EST (note the unusual time)
• Television :: ESPN2 (live)
• Audio Webcast :: English (http://www.1160wmet.com/), Spanish (http://www.radioamerica.net/), Other Webcasts (http://www.socceraudio.com/)
• Broadband Video Webcast :: None
• PBP AIM Chatroom :: BigSoccerDCU :: Directions Here (http://www.bigsoccer.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=2238175#post2238175)
• Match Previews :: DCUnited.com, MLSNet
• Referee Analysis Thread

• Note 1 • Knave says: "This will be Chicago's 5th match in 2 weeks. It'll be their 7th match in 1 month. They have not scored a goal since their 4-0 win against San Juan Jabloteh on March 24. On Wednesday April 21 they'll play Saprissa for the home leg of the CCC semifinal round. Should they fail to score in that match they'll ride a scoring drought of 630 minutes into our match this weekend."

Pre-Game Banter Translation? They suck donkey balls right now.

• Note 2 •
We are going back into battle my friends who is with me?! (aside from GreatScott...) We already know he doesn't have a ride. :D

News, Analysis, and Serious Discussion... Will be f-ing mocked accordingly.

Flames? (Well they are the Fire... and they are flaming...)

Trolls? Hopefully funny...

[HeadHunter]

Id say "couldn't score in a whorehouse" needs to be chanted all game long.

[Detective40oz]

Well Chicago looked like crap against Dallas at home this past weekend after playing a mid week game against Saprissa, lets see if we can make them look like crap another week after they play the return leg against Saprissa by whooping them up at OUR home :D

How sweet woud it be for us to help the Fire to break the all time MLS scoreless streak???

[McOwen]

Well since my "predictions" went so well vs. the Metrosexuals last week I think I 'll just skip that $hit and get straight to the point...

I'm bringing a really cool girl to this damn game. If I am to stand any chance with her (ok I admit its a stretch as it is but still...) DC United MUST win this game. I can't have a bunch of sad ********ers crying in their beer after the game if I am going to impress :D


On top of this... Everytime we lose to the Fire my pal Begbie gets REALLY f-ed up, gets tossed from the stadium, and goes home to impregnate his unfortunate wife. Luckily we do not lose at home often... But still, it is the principle of the whole thing.

I beg you UNITED. Consider the rest of us. Think of a cause bigger then yourselves. :D

WIN

[Z010 Union]

Between the Fall Down Beasley and Couldn't Score in a Brothel we might not have time to sing Vamos United :eek:


:D

[fatbastard]

I'm bringing a really cool girl to this damn game. Will there be room for her in the trunk with the keg? ;)

The numbness of NJ is wearing off and I'm getting excited about this game. I like that Chicago has a game on Wednesday and will hopefully be tired, too bad it isn't in Costa Rica so they could all get dysentery too. Then they could really play like **********.
I'd like to point out again that Jim Curtain is the ugliest m-fer to play in the MLS since that el pitufo troll played in the Meadowlands. I say Freddy actually runs under his legs and poaches one.
Without Jesse Marsch, this team is garbage and we can beat them.
I bet there will be alot of crap in both locker rooms about Nowak and his old team.
We all laugh at a bright-red football team....

[Red&Black]

i feel a bit banterless because the nasty taste of the 2nd half of saturday continues to haunt me.

i really hate chicago but this one worries me a bit. i find it hard to believe a team with the offensive talent they have will continue to not find the back of the net.

however, they do seem to be playing the worst football in the league at the moment--though i am not entirely clear why.

this is a good chance for us to get back on track. home after a couple of tough road trips (and facing another tough trip next week) is a good way to get well.

the lads ought to be pissed off at the result on saturday, hopefully they'll take it out on chicago's ass...

[EdTheRed]

Well, looks like Chicago is on the verge of "DC United 2000" redux:

They've got a second-year head coach who inherited a well-oiled machine and didn't mess with it too much his first season, but now they face some nagging injuries to key players (both Razov and Ralph, for example), and they lost a couple more key players over the offseason (Bocanegra and Thornton). Teams in MLS are just too evenly matched - you only need to slip a little to fall a long, long way.

I wonder how good Section 8 will look after four years of suckitude? Probably not as good as the barra of Chivas de Chicago will...

[Victory]

Well since my "predictions" went so well vs. the Metrosexuals last week I think I 'll just skip that $hit and get straight to the point...

I'm bringing a really cool girl to this damn game. If I am to stand any chance with her (ok I admit its a stretch as it is but still...) DC United MUST win this game. I can't have a bunch of sad ********ers crying in their beer after the game if I am going to impress :D


On top of this... Everytime we lose to the Fire my pal Begbie gets REALLY f-ed up, gets tossed from the stadium, and goes home to impregnate his unfortunate wife. Luckily we do not lose at home often... But still, it is the principle of the whole thing.

I beg you UNITED. Consider the rest of us. Think of a cause bigger then yourselves. :D

WIN

So we either end up with another McOwen or another Begbie. Sounds like a lose lose situation to me. I am now officially rooting for the draw.

[bigredfutbol]

If Chicago has anything in them, I'm a little worried as well. Razov and Ralph won't keep misfiring forever.
However, I think Nowak knows how to turn last week's 2nd half letdown into a hard lesson in How to Finish Off Your Damn Enemies. Hope the class was paying attention.

Jim Curtin looks like "The Little Prince" in a "Where Are They Now?" special.

DC United, your mission is clear--destroy the Fire, and make their slide into mediocrity official.

[Cantankerous]

Jim Curtin looks like "The Little Prince" in a "Where Are They Now?" special.
To me he looks like an alien who came out of the human replicator mold a little too early. He looks a bit unformed, for lack of a better word. Good player, though.


DC United, your mission is clear--destroy the Fire, and make their slide into mediocrity official.
I wish this were true, but I fear it is not. I think Chicago is quite dangerous and is just floundering a bit early in the season as it adjusts to the absences (moves/injuries) of some key players. I hope it can manage to flounder for another week.

[Red&Black]

man watching this champions league semi is beginning to get me pissed off about chicago and the game on saturday. deportivo (whom i personally have nothing against nor am in favor of porto) is wearing a red uniform, not terribly unlike that of the pile of crap known as the fire.

i got to thinking how stupid thos red kits look. they look like some kind of kids club or a ********ining halloween costume or something, its just pathetic. then hell half their guys look like they are wearing costumes anyway. for example, you just can't believe that dude curtain is real, you are sure he is the mascot of some minor league baseball team who wondered onto the pitch by mistake.

i've always disliked razov on various levels. he isn't consistent and pouts like a punk half the damn match.

this ralph looks to me to heading for some sort of sophmore slump.

i don't know who the assclown is at keeper, but beating out dj countness is hardly a mark of quality (hmmm, countness, razov, yet more ucla losers any more in the candyapple red).

i gotta figure that when the pressure is on their manager wil fail. he is a career number 2 guy who walked into the softest gig in the league and it appears to be swirling around the commode all around him.

their defense exposed itself in some match i watched recently--new england maybe, oh hell i can't remember.

thank goodness we are playing at home so i don't have to watch on tv and be subjected to that damn chant, their only chant, over and ********in over again...man, can't those idiots get at least one more, for christ's sake, rip off a one of the goddman ones from europe or something. though their whole fan base looks as though it comes from some lesser strata of the gene pool, a rather bizzare haunting effect that seems to cross all known social boundries marking each of them despite their sex, race, gender, class, etc... :eek:

[tmas]

troll played in the Meadowlands.

Which one?

[CHICO13]

I'm bringing a really cool girl to this damn game. If I am to stand any chance with her (ok I admit its a stretch as it is but still...) DC United MUST win this game. I can't have a bunch of sad ********ers crying in their beer after the game if I am going to impress
Remember what I told you about protection son, and I'm not talking about the Barretta under the drivers seat. :cool:

The 2004 Chicago Fire....
They couldn't score in a Womens Prison with a fist full of pardons.

[McOwen]

So we either end up with another McOwen or another Begbie. Sounds like a lose lose situation to me. I am now officially rooting for the draw.

Ahhh.. right through the heart.

Don't worry I have no need for kids. I already have you guys in the Barra to worry about. :D

--Of course if I was Ante Razov I could also just use my personality for birth control... :D

[McOwen]

The 2004 Chicago Fire....
They couldn't score in a Womens Prison with a fist full of pardons.

Hey I think I saw that movie... but wait the girls never actually "held" anything in their hand :D

Here is to DC United playing like a "fist of a team" this Saturday. :D

[jmsdoc]

Id say "couldn't score in a whorehouse" needs to be chanted all game long.


Let's get one thing straight........one does not "score" in a whorehouse. Paying someone for sex is like getting Shaq to grab you by the buttocks and hold you over his head so you can dunk the ball.....then calling yourself MJ.

On the other hand.....what McOwen is attempting to do after the game, given his obvious impediments, is truely heroic!

John

[TEConnor]

Let's get one thing straight........one does not "score" in a whorehouse. Paying someone for sex is like getting Shaq to grab you by the buttocks and hold you over his head so you can dunk the ball.....then calling yourself MJ.

On the other hand.....what McOwen is attempting to do after the game, given his obvious impediments, is truely heroic!

John

Ok, even though you are correct about the scoring in the brothel. Can't we just keep the song? It makes my over-educated, hyper-critical, non-soccer friends laugh, should be good enough for general use.

Tim

[Cantankerous]

Paying someone for sex is like getting Shaq to grab you by the buttocks and hold you over his head so you can dunk the ball.....then calling yourself MJ.
OK, so now I know that if I do one I don't need to do the other.

[mcontento]

I hate the Fire...More than anyone but the ********ers to the North. come Saturday I will be in a frothing rage.

Things I hate about Chicago:

Sears Tower
Bears
Cubs
White Sox
Black Hawks
Da Bulls
Wrigley Field
Soldier Field
O'hare Airport
Midway Airport
Their stupid trains
Deep Dish Pizzas
UNOs
Harry Carey
Chicagoans, including but not exclusive to:
Poles
Eastern Europeans
Mexicans
Whites
Blacks
Browns
Yellows
EVERYONE!

Actually, I'll make this list shorter, I'll jsut say what I like about Chicago:

NOT A GODDAMN THING