Arsenal 2003/04 Season

[sendorange]

http://www.spurscommunity.co.uk/uploads/1052clirut.jpg

[phishy]

GOOOOOOOOOOOOO Burn... pmsl

[The Double]

GOOOOOOOOOOOOO Burn... pmsl

I don't get it, but it probably wasn't funny anyway.

[phishy]

I don't get it, but it probably wasn't funny anyway.

sendorange's passion.. the dallas burn.... COME ON EDDIE JOHNSON.. LOL

[Motterman]

http://www.rednews.info/uplds/arsebottle.gif

[phishy]

MOTTERMAN...

where are you in the league again?? now that truly is comical~

[Motterman]

Scene: The bridge on board the USS Arsenal. Captain Arsene P. Wenger seated at the console.

Capt. Wenger: Steady as she goes.

Lt. Ljungberg: Aye aye, sweetie. I mean Captain. Sorry.

Capt. Wenger: What’s that up ahead? Screens to maximum magnification!

Lt. Ljungberg: Is it Klingons? Oooh! I hate them. Such terrible hair. Yuk!

Capt. Wenger: No, it’s a battleship from the Red United Empire. Battle stations, everyone.

Lt. Campbell: (Wearing a pink apron and carrying a feather duster)
Let’s go and smack their little bottoms!

Lt. Ljungberg: Yeah, better than smacking their noses, you big clumsy girl.

Lt. Campbell: Oh, Captain did you hear that? Shut up Ljungberg you bitch!

Capt. Wenger: That’s enough! Get to work, you two!

S.O. Henry: Mon capitaine! Shall I get changed into my uniform now?

Capt. Wenger: No need, my little gorgeous one. We shall see off these United types without you.

S.O. Henry: But Sir…

Capt. Wenger: No, Thierry. You are too precious to me. You shall be saved for bigger things. Now go rest your pretty head.

S.O. Henry: Oh, OK…va va voom…(Quiet snickering around the bridge. Henry glares at the crew and exits.)

(Suddenly a huge explosion rocks the ship)

Capt. Wenger: What the…?

Lt. Ljungberg: They’re…they’re…ATTACKING us, Sir!

Capt. Wenger: This wasn’t supposed to happen! Where’s Lt. Pires?

Lt. Pires: Over here, Sir.

Capt. Wenger: Jesus Christ, man, fight back!

Lt. Pires: Aye aye, Captain. Activating the Dying Swan Diving Module, now…

(Another massive explosion. The lights go dim)

Lt. Ljungberg: We’re hit Sir! What was it?

Lt. Lemon: Zat voz ein Ginger Photon Torpedo! Gott in Himmel, ve are finished!

Capt. Wenger: Shut up, Lemon! Pires! What’s happening?

Lt. Pires: The Diving Module isn’t working Sir! I’ve even tried it at the Bergkamp setting! Nothing!

Capt. Wenger: Merde! Lt. Campbell, damage assessment please!

Lt. Campbell: Our Spanish WonderBoy Unit has been taken out by another Ginger Photon Torpedo, Sir. And that bitch Ljungberg has broken her hand…

Lt. Ljungberg: (screaming) Go to hell you big ugly cow! It hurts like hell! And how can I model underwear now with my hand in plaster! Oh, just LOOK at it! (starts crying)

Capt. Wenger: Pull yourselves together! Give me emergency power. Deploy the Whinging Vieiratron and call up Henry!

Lt. Pires: But Sir, you said that Henry…

Capt. Wenger: (now standing up and gesticulating angrily) Never mind what I said! Get Henry up here and fast!

(Two minutes later the elevator doors open)

S.O. Henry: Oh, NOW you ask me to get involved. Well, I’m not in the mood any more.

Capt. Wenger: This is not the time Thierry. Get kitted up, we need you.

S.O. Henry: Oh , very well. But I’m telling you I’m going to sulk for EVER afterwards, OK?

Lt. Pires: Sir, the Vieiratron is having no effect! We’re losing power!

Capt. Wenger: That bastard and his filthy band of thugs! (spits on the floor)

Lt. Pires: Who’s that, Sir?

Capt. Wenger: The Warlord Fergie. He is the most evil man in the entire Universe! This is typical of his dirty tactics.

(Another gigantic explosion and the USS Arsenal shudders and goes dark)

Lt. Lemon: I TOLD you ve vos finished…

The entire crew: (in muffled voices from under piles of rubble) Shut up Lemon!

(On the screens a giant head appears. It is the Warlord Fergie, smiling evilly.)

[Motterman]

FOLLOWING RECENT RESULTS YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED TO THE ARSENAL END OF SEASON DINNER DANCE

(being held early due to unforeseen circumstances)

Menu

Main course:

Humble pie
Frogs Legs
Jens Lehmans catch of the day

Dessert:

Hard Cheese
Sour Grapes

Wine:

L’urine de Wenger, Carrington 2003
(a hard-to-swallow sample vintage)

Guest speakers:

Claudio Ranieri
Sir Alex Ferguson (treble winner)

Please note that the club’s European Tour scheduled for April and May has been cancelled.

Guests are also kindly asked to bring their own bottle as we appear to have lost ours.

[phishy]

poor attempt at humour~

[juice013]

FOLLOWING RECENT RESULTS YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED TO THE ARSENAL END OF SEASON DINNER DANCE

(being held early due to unforeseen circumstances)

Menu

Main course:

Humble pie
Frogs Legs
Jens Lehmans catch of the day

Dessert:

Hard Cheese
Sour Grapes

Wine:

L’urine de Wenger, Carrington 2003
(a hard-to-swallow sample vintage)

Guest speakers:

Claudio Ranieri
Sir Alex Ferguson (treble winner)

Please note that the club’s European Tour scheduled for April and May has been cancelled.

Guests are also kindly asked to bring their own bottle as we appear to have lost ours.

Yawn. You need a hobby or something. Or some friends. Or some rope and a tree.

[Motterman]

Yawn. You need a hobby or something. Or some friends. Or some rope and a tree.

Whereas your contributions bring so much more illumination, yeah? :rolleyes:

[juice013]

Whereas your contributions bring so much more illumination, yeah? :rolleyes:

When I have nothing to say, you know what I do? I DON'T SAY ANYTHING. You should try it out sometime.

[Motterman]

When I have nothing to say, you know what I do? I DON'T SAY ANYTHING. You should try it out sometime.

Well, now I know where to point people when I want to show them irony. Thanks.

[goonerob]

I may as well put this in here as well, there could be people who are ABU, who have not seen it yet.

http://www.laughfc.co.uk/stories/story.php?id=665

[Lanesra]

Yep they are funny, they were funny when we posted them about Man u a while back, mind you something even funnier could happen at your next home game, wouldn't be the first time though, that was in '71 so here's hoping.

If it doesn't happen there it'll probabally happen the week after, as for the trebble, we never said we were going to do it, that was the hemeroid press, so I suppose it's ony going to be the League for us, what a disasterous season. :)

[Motterman]

Fan falls asleep at Arsenal game:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tees/3638151.stm

Adrian Carr was convicted of being drunk in a sporting arena, during a game against Arsenal.

He was given a two-year conditional discharge and ordered to pay £150 costs by magistrates in Teesside in February.

On Monday, the conviction and sentence were overturned at Teesside Crown Court, by Judge Michael Taylor.

Mr Carr, 28, of Caithness Road, Middlesbrough, had denied one charge of being drunk in a sporting arena.

Judge Taylor, who was sitting with two magistrates, said: "It is the right of every Englishman at a football match to fall asleep if they want to.

[mixmastermatt]

wots the world coming to when fans fall aslepp at arsenal games - i dread to think what would of happened if he had seen manure play!

[Its only Ray Parlour]

Fan falls asleep at Arsenal game:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tees/3638151.stm

You also neglected to mention that Arsenal won the match 4-0. Boring Boring Arsenal.

[goonerob]

P38L0

[sokkerluver]

Come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!
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Come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!
Come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!
Come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!
Come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!
Come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!
Come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!
Come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!
Come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!
Come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!
Come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!
Come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!
Come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!come On U Gunners!!!!