Henry's diary

[loublaze]

03/28/04-matinee- Getting ready to beat the sh** out of L'manchestre. Those idiots are going to to pay a lotta francs for thinking thier better than us! But my good freind louis is playing, oh dear I hope he does not score as our freindship will have to end!!! GASTON! COME HERE AND RUB MY BACK ..OOPS

03/28/04- apres-midi- I feel sick sick SICK!! We should have shown the world we're the better team!! Stupid Louis!! I told him to take it easy on us! Anyway he didn't celebrate so I guess he still cherishes our freindship. I still won't speak with him for months!! And that Lauren is lucky I didn't get the chance to kick his arriere back to Cameroun!!! He's lucky that sneaky Gary Neville saw me...wait a minute, why was he talking with a grin to that reporter!!

03/29/04- Morning- Who the ************ finished my prozac!!!

03/31/04- Louis called me up. Apologised for the goal but i'm not impressed. Too arrogant in my ways. I told him to publicly humiliate the Horse boy Ruud

03/31/04- Evening- Bravo Louis!!! That's my boy for life!! I knew I could count on him. Let's hope he hasn't got Ruud too fired up though. Please God!!
What the....Ruud actually admits i'm a great player!! How dare he!!! We're supposed to keep the trash talk going! He's just killed the momentum. God I hate Ruud. 104 goals in 140-odd games and he sucks so bad! iT'S NOT FAIR!!!

04/02/04 - still furieux at Louis!! Can u believe he had the audacity to call me and tell me the interview was an early April's fools 'gift' and he thinks Ruud is way better than me!!! I will take care of this boy when I see him. Hope Keane doesn't play. He scares me. And if I see that Roy Carroll I don't know wht i'll do. But I can't dissapoint daddy Wenger. He's been so good to me. These fools think I love this club so much but its my daddy who's the main reason I stay. I wanted to move to Real Madrid but he threatened he'd reveal my secret affair with Robert [Pires] oh Robbie I love you!! I hope we offer the ref more money than Chelsea. It's hard to compete with that Russian! I'll leave by summer before they ask me to take money out of my own pocket to help finance Reyes transfer fee! That kid is so weak! I had to get his puny hands off me when I scored. He did provide the assist but i'm God on the pitch. Good luck to these boys when I leave coz the new stadium will leave them all broke!

[Coach_McGuirk]

1. Who the hell is "Gaston"??

2. At least the Neville diary was funny.

3. You should have thrown in at least one "va-va-voom", and perhaps an "omlette du' frommage" to really spice it up. Here's an example:

"3/29/04 - My omlette was very poor today. I must tell le boss to fire the team dietician. And why do I need a dietician? I am the best footballer in the world, so maybe I am the best cook, too. Le boss should have made Lauren run extra laps after training. How could he not see me? Why wasn't he watching me like every other one of the 7 billion people on the planet? They all tune in to see me, why else would they even watch football?"

"3/31/04 - Since Lauren still won't pass, and le boss tells me he can't sell him right now, I worked on passing to myself in training today. I think it was great, but Sol said something about me hogging the ball. Why does Sol not understand that I can just keep the ball, and he can heal his aching groin?"

"4/1/04 - Louis said I am the best. Everybody loves Louis, right? A Fulham fan told me, in the street, that sh!t can spot sh!t, but he was obviously an idiot. I think I will call Nike and tell them that, if the next commercial isn't all about me, I will wear somebody else's boots. Nike should know that people buy their boots only because I wear them"

See, lou, something like that.

[loublaze]

Okay coachie

[Achtung]

2. At least the Neville diary was funny.

Was it really? Hadn't noticed...

[Coach_McGuirk]

Was it really? Hadn't noticed...
BEAUTIFUL deadpan....

You're all class, Achtung. A reputation point to you!

[mixmastermatt]

bonjour!!!

'ello lublaze - i think u av 'ritten a piece of merde!

the neville one was funny and so could of this henry one - i think u n eed more lessons off of coach!

[50 Euro]

"3/31/04 - Since Lauren still won't pass, and le boss tells me he can't sell him right now, I worked on passing to myself in training today."

Didn't know they had Starkick in Europe.

[soccermainiac2003]

hey loublaze,
did you get dumped or something because you've got a lot of time on your hands

[Achtung]

Didn't know they had Starkick in Europe.

Now even Henry can practice hands-free footwork.

[50 Euro]

Now even Henry can practice hands-free footwork.
Starkick could replace that Conor kid and the soccer mom with Henry and Wenger.
Arsene: "Now Thierry can train zee way he wants, without ever having to wait for someone to pass him zee ball!"

[Coach_McGuirk]

Now even Henry can practice hands-free footwork.
But will Henry ever be "Nationally Ranked"???

[Clan]

Um - i don't know whats funnier....the original post, or the Arsenal lads coming in because of the original post.

It's the little things in life etc etc :)

[mixmastermatt]

says the chelsea fan reading an arsenal thread on the man utd boards!

[Coach_McGuirk]

I thought the fact that the talk had turned to the fabulous "Star-Kick" was the real piece of comedic genius.

[Clan]

says the chelsea fan reading an arsenal thread on the man utd boards!


Well spotted there mate - pity you missed the fact that i am the moderator for all English club forums.

Live and learn eh?

[mixmastermatt]

y did u have to come in and reply then?

just look around and make sure evrything is running smoothly!

u dont need to reply - but u still did!

[loublaze]

It's typical of Arse-anal fans to laugh a t their own lame jokes about opposition only to criticise messages not even posted on thier own MB. I recieved even harsher treatment on the BEE BEE CEE site. Dish it out but can't take it up the Arse eh?

[Coach_McGuirk]

I actually thought I helped....