Conflict of Interest

[number19]

Should we avoid doing games of people we know? Here's my situation: Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be doing the game of a team on which I know pretty much every girl on a first name basis, one of who is my girlfriend. I talked to my assessor, and he said he was "confident in my ability to do the game fairly." And I plan to, but should it be okay for us to do games like these?

[TReff]

Yes, you should avoid games where you have a personal relationship with a player. But, the urgency depends -- the closer the relationship and the higher level the game, the more problematic the conflict.

You have to decide for yourself whether you can be objective and can handle the very real possibility that one or both teams will feel you blew some calls -- as happens nearly every game.

If you do go ahead, i urge you to do the game only after full disclosure to both coaches. The opposing coach will be justifiably upset if he or she catches on during or after the game, and it will only hurt your reputation. Your "friendly" coach may also have some concerns for the possibility that you will hold players you know to a higher standard; it has been known to happen.

If either objects, don't do the game. It's not worth it. Besides, you may enjoy watching and cheering for your favorite player more than listening and trying to explain your "blown" calls to that same player.

Good luck, from an even newer BigSoccer newbie.

[jc508]

To me, there is a significant problem.

Let's say that your girlfriend pushes an opponent. It is not a neck snapping push, but more than a touch that seems to affect play.

If you call it, your girlfriend may strongly disagree with your call. She may punish you more than any punishment you may give out in the game.

During the match, someone on the team is bound to call you by name. The other team will pick up on this and you will be put in a negative light in their book. When you don't call that push, it will confirm that you are on the other team's side.

Basicly, you are damned if you do and damned if you don't.

If you can easily avoid doing the game, I would. If you can't, you will survive, but you will have peculiar challenges for yourself during the match. Best of luck with it.

[Gary V]

We are not supposed to be assigned games for which we have some relationship to the players or coaches. If that meant anyone who I know, I would be severely limited in how many games I could get. So it's defined as a family member. Our assignor has us list teams with which we have an affiliation. GF/BF should probably also be on that list - but for some people that might change 3 or 4 times during the season!

The other side of the coin is what if you show up at a game to see your family member or significant other, and there is no ref? I learned to always take my ref kit with me to any game my kids were in. The back seat of a minivan makes a serviceable changing area. I would introduce myself to the other coach and offer my services. If the alternatives are we all go home and try to reschedule the game, or each coach refs a half, filling in is a good option. I had one coach say, "We like playing against the XXX - we know there will always be a ref." Obviously this applies to youth games, not the pros.

[HeadHunter]

In my area, the number of people with soccer backgrounds/experience is low and those who also have refereing experience even lower. I ref, coach, and assign (including the games I coach). Do I have a conflict of interest? Yes. However the alternative is to have someone less qualified or no one do some of those jobs. I feel that I'm doing the best thing possible for the game. The only way that I take advantage of my position is to assign my best refs to my games :)

[tmaker]

We are not supposed to be assigned games for which we have some relationship to the players or coaches. If that meant anyone who I know, I would be severely limited in how many games I could get. So it's defined as a family member. Our assignor has us list teams with which we have an affiliation. GF/BF should probably also be on that list - but for some people that might change 3 or 4 times during the season!

The other side of the coin is what if you show up at a game to see your family member or significant other, and there is no ref? I learned to always take my ref kit with me to any game my kids were in. The back seat of a minivan makes a serviceable changing area. I would introduce myself to the other coach and offer my services. If the alternatives are we all go home and try to reschedule the game, or each coach refs a half, filling in is a good option. I had one coach say, "We like playing against the XXX - we know there will always be a ref." Obviously this applies to youth games, not the pros.

So true.

I have reffed a game with my fiancee's brother in it, without knowing this at the time. Was it a conflict of interest? I've also reffed games with my best friend's daughter in the team, having found this out only when I got to the pitch. Was it a conflict of interest?

Conflict of interest is overrated. If as a ref I can't do my job because some one or two of my friends is on a team, then I'm not a ref. In truth, I'm generally busy concentrating on the play at hand, and not so much the players. If I can call the plays properly, the dramatis personae don't make any difference. The real issue here isn't "conflict of interest"--after all, I'm far more interested in my son learning properly how to play soccer and following the laws and spirit of the game than I am interested in him "getting a break" from the ref. The real issue, rather, is the appearance of conflict of interest, and this is a very fuzzy area.

[jacathcart]

Should we avoid doing games of people we know? Here's my situation: Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be doing the game of a team on which I know pretty much every girl on a first name basis, one of who is my girlfriend. I talked to my assessor, and he said he was "confident in my ability to do the game fairly." And I plan to, but should it be okay for us to do games like these?

First, I have to say that the use of the term "dramatis personae" by TMaker is impressive as hell - I hope you are at least an assignor!

If you are reffing U-10 rec you tell the other coach and go have fun. As for older and more competitive games, as some have mentioned, the problem is not that you would give your g/f a break. The problem is that 50% of the people think your call sucks every time you blow the whistle and when the call is against the g/f opponent, the conflict just pours gas on the fire. Not to mention that your g/f will complain bitterly that you over-compensated and failed to protect her from a thorough mugging.

My belief would be that if the game is more than a lower age rec game don't do it.

Jim