Australian cricket selectors...enough said! They are the least intelligent people in Australia and seem to be unable to choose players outside of New South Wales unless they are starring for their state. That is all, as i could go on for quite a while but dont want to bore you all talking about a sport you dont understand.
Low fat Custard. Fuck me. So there I was, getting the post-Crimbo shopping in down at Tesco's and some fat pigdog waddles up to the chiller cabinet and picks out some custard. Fresh, none of your packet stuff for this humdinger. Good old bird, I thought, that's the way. And then it's Low Fat Custard. Low. Fat. Custard. Jesus. Sorry love, but if it's custard you're needing then it's whatever it is you're having it with that you need to be worrying about. It's not going to be lettuce, is it? How about going without custard entirely for a bit? And whatever it was you were going to slather that whole sodding tub of it over, you heaving, sweaty whale? "Ooh, but I don't want to compromise on everything, do I?" Well in that case, you'll stay a big fucking whale then, won't you? That's called having your cake and eating it (which is another thing I hate, it's a totally nonsensical saying, but one thing at a time here) and you, my dear, have clearly had and eaten more than your fair share of cake!! Either buy proper custard and settle back into your eight chins in full contentment within your own acres of skin, or put it down, get some exercise and have a bit of respect for yourself. You want to shove a half-litre tub of sugar, milk and eggs into your fat face, either get on with it or head for the fresh vegetables section. Now! You're blocking the sun! Ooh, that's better. I'm going to eat a gluten-free flapjack now.
And just when you though the Aussies were ripe for the plucking in the next Ashes, the English have gone one better with some painfully unfunny and very public civil war between coach and captain. Both, of course, have since resigned and HMS ECB is looking stereotypically rudderless. The procilivity for self-destruction is eye-crosssingly tragic. There, I have said it, and even mangled the metaphors!
YAY...bout time they started getting rid of Matthew Hayden. I have always liked him as a cricketer, however recently he has become very self-focused, which has caused his game to diminish (dropping catches) and meant that he has not been playing for the team, but for himself. For you Aussies here...one-day squad with most likely XI. S. Marsh B. Haddin R. Ponting (c) M. Clarke (vc) M. Hussey D. Hussey C. White J. Hopes N. Bracken P. Siddle B. Hilfenhaus N. Hauritz S. Tait Hayden axed from one-day squad
