OFFICIAL Outlandish QuakeFan conspiracy theory thread

As we all know, QuakeFan can sometimes put their tinfoil hats on. And by "sometimes," I of course mean "every time they play LA" or any time they encounter any sort of #FirstWorldProblems.

And since their Supporters Shield winners managed to gag like some girl fresh off the bus doing her first deep throat scene in the Valley, to LA no less, wacky conspiracy theories are about to become Northern California's most plentiful natural resource. But to save the readership the trouble of venturing into the Quakes forum to marvel at them, let's hear your suggestions for the outlandish ways in which QuakeFan will suggest that his heroes were nefariously cheated out of victory.

No theory is too crazy, because you know, there's a good shot that one of them will probably write in earnest.

Don't bother waiting for that chub smoker. That fat load of buck-toothed limey dog shit does nothing but drag this classy forum down.

Hopefully, he threw himself down a volcano after seeing Wondolololz step on his own dick last night.

BTW, Quakes '05 is the last time the team won the SupportHose PantyShield, then wilted in the playoffs.

F___ the Quakes, Their Fans, and San Jose and anyone within a 50 mile radius of San Jose.

Last night was proof that God hates Smurfs.

The easy answer is because Garber said the final could not be held in Shit Bucket stadium, and then activated the remote control chip in the ref's brain, and from his MLS HQ chair, controlled Kevin Stott's every move, even to the point of calling ridiculous fouls on Fruitpie Lenhart when he openly attacks OMGonzales on a dead ball play.