My Pro/Rel Thread is Better Than Yours

Discussion in 'MLS: Commissioner - You be The Don' started by crazypete13, Jul 15, 2012.

  1. crazypete13

    crazypete13 Moderator
    Staff Member

    May 7, 2007
    A walk from BMO
    Club:
    Toronto FC
    Yep. Mostly because I think Pro/rel should be done by the most arcane, all encompassing, and stat heavy means possible.

    Due to the fact that we have a geographically challenging situation in the northern half of the North American continent, and that pro/rel by it's very nature needs to include every rung in the Northern North American Soccer pyramid. For this, we require that the following statistical identifiers, home stadium size, regional* population - and something I'll call the LSD%**

    Relegation:
    Hereby, at the end of every season, a calculation of a team's last dozen season performances is prorated to give an overall wining percentage for a rolling twelve year period. If a team boasts a winning percentage below 45%, they are identified as a relegation candidate. The primary point of this would allow for a middling to severe ineptitude window of twelve years prior to the first relegation evaluation point for MLS expansion franchises - with a noted San Jose gap exception for the no-Quakes seasons - as relegation is solely determined by club name alone. Which brings up what is informally known as the Burn-Metrostars exemption, which allows for up to one club re-branding to allow a reset on the initial dozen year period at the time of re-brand.

    Once a relegation candidate is identified, the secondary criteria would be evaluated. Clubs with a LSD% south of 30% would be immediately relegated to whichever league has highest median LSD% (regardless of individual club relegation candidacy) below their current level, should one exist. Failing that, clubs with a LSD% of 30-70% would be dropped a tier, but only if an actual league exists,

    Relegation candidates with an LSD of 70%+ would require an ad hoc judgement from the MLS commissioner, to determine whether NASL is a good-fit for the owner. For lower leagues, this league assessment may be unneeded, and relegation to the immediately lower league is assumed, should it exist. At this point, the stadium size exemption may be applied, for teams with 20 000 plus seats would have their relegation candidacy suspended until the the LSD% dropped below 70% or future seasons' play removes it.

    Promotion:
    Hereby, at the end of every season, for the league champions of all leagues below MLS, a promotion candidate is identified as having a LSD% of 70% or greater, and an ad hoc willingness for the MLS commissioner to have the club join the MLS cartel. For lower leagues this decision will be dependent on whichever league commissioner applies at that level. For teams with LSD% of less than 70%, the next highest level will require a 50% boost to stadium size prior to admittance at the higher level.

    Promotion candidates will also require a certain payment or 'promotion fee' to join MLS, which is calculated prior to admittance into MLS - and may be negotiable***. Promotion to lower leagues may have their own promotion fees or calculation criteria, should they feel a LSD% of a promotion candidate is not a good fit for the league.

    Promotion candidates may decline promotion without cause or prejudice, should they choose.

    *calculated for the largest nearby urban region of the home stadium, as determined by the national census figures of the city/town/hamlet, based on most recent data available to the public.

    ** Local Stadium Density percentage, calculated by totaling all the stadium capacity of identified professional clubs of the regional population area, and divided by the home stadium size.

    ***ensuring the Rochester Rhinos will never promote to MLS.
     
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  2. bunge

    bunge BigSoccer Supporter

    Oct 24, 2000
    Cheese.
     
    crazypete13 repped this.
  3. Achowat

    Achowat Member+

    Mar 21, 2011
    Revere, MA
    Club:
    New England Revolution
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Wait, so the Missouri Azzurri get to ignore their "Wooden Spoon" seasons because they've been renamed to Topeka Benfica? You're out of your mind, man
     
  4. JasonMa

    JasonMa Member+

    Mar 20, 2000
    Arvada, CO
    Club:
    Colorado Rapids
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Tillamook
     
  5. HailtotheKing

    HailtotheKing Member+

    San Antonio FC
    United States
    Dec 1, 2008
    TEXAS
    Club:
    San Antonio Scorpions FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    If I could give rep to the thread name, I would.

    Other than that ....

    *fart*
     
  6. song219

    song219 BigSoccer Supporter

    Apr 5, 2004
    La Norte
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    Vanuatu
    Other than the fact that you forgot to mention that the payment or promotion fee must be in ponies, everything you stated is absolutely correct.
     
  7. crazypete13

    crazypete13 Moderator
    Staff Member

    May 7, 2007
    A walk from BMO
    Club:
    Toronto FC
    Only if that is the first rebrand, if their stint as Kansas City City is factored in and assuming the local beer league will have them, relegation it is.

    I will take this as high praise, especially the raspberry. You, kind sir, are a king among kings.

    Ponies, as well as truckloads of manure, there are over a dozen* SSS in MLS, and it's not like the grass fertilizes itself. Any surplus will be used to prank Seattle.

    *maybe
     
  8. Achowat

    Achowat Member+

    Mar 21, 2011
    Revere, MA
    Club:
    New England Revolution
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I really still don't see how this is relevant, besides making a Relegation-eligible Toronto FC rename themselves to the Toronto IceCats to keep themselves up
     
  9. crazypete13

    crazypete13 Moderator
    Staff Member

    May 7, 2007
    A walk from BMO
    Club:
    Toronto FC
    Exactly, what we need are solid loopholes to allow the moneyed interests, that paid a premium to join MLS, a good way to avoid relegation at all costs. My plan brings this, along with enough wiggle room for promotion when any fat cat wants to join MLS. This is why my plan will succeed, where other, more logical choices are lacking.
     
  10. CCSUltra

    CCSUltra Member+

    Nov 18, 2008
    Cleveland
    Club:
    Hertha BSC Berlin
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Mmmm, that Tillamook cheddar...
     
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  11. Skippysasquirrel

    May 11, 2012
    San Diego, CA
    Club:
    FC Dallas
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I love the title. Not sure the plan holds up. But the title is awesome!
     
  12. chungachanga

    chungachanga Member

    Dec 12, 2011
    if this was a good pro rel thread, it would already have 500 replies by now.
    if you want to make a good pro rel thread, you need to have serious troll talent, or be able to attract them.
     
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  13. crazypete13

    crazypete13 Moderator
    Staff Member

    May 7, 2007
    A walk from BMO
    Club:
    Toronto FC
    Next time I'll go with less satire then.
     
  14. ceezmad

    ceezmad Member+

    Mar 4, 2010
    Chicago
    Club:
    Chicago Red Stars
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Crazypete I am disappointed this is not a pro/rel for Concacaf, were the MLS champion is promoted to Liga de Ascenso MX and the MLS last place has to go pay in the Guatemala league.
     
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  15. song219

    song219 BigSoccer Supporter

    Apr 5, 2004
    La Norte
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    Vanuatu
    You are confusing quantity with quality. Of those threads that have 500 replies, 490 of them are "Pro-rel sucks. No Pro-rel rocks."

    This thread is a brand-new fresh direction in pro-rel threads. It has nuance. :)
     
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  16. Skippysasquirrel

    May 11, 2012
    San Diego, CA
    Club:
    FC Dallas
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    lol well played!
     
  17. chungachanga

    chungachanga Member

    Dec 12, 2011
    what else is there to say. That's what i expect when i open a pro/rel thread. I am disappointed by this one. It has people all relaxed, having fun, and it doesn't mention Europe. If i wanted that, i'd go to a beach.
     
  18. crazypete13

    crazypete13 Moderator
    Staff Member

    May 7, 2007
    A walk from BMO
    Club:
    Toronto FC
    It's bad enough when we get to play in Guatemala for the CCL, so I can't in good conscience relegate my club there (travel alone would kill TFC), even if on most nights they are outclassed by pretty much every team in Guatemala.

    Your Mexican promotion idea is solid - though no way would the Mexican teams agree to play league games with the likes of CDCUSA when relegated.
     
  19. Arsenalkid700

    Arsenalkid700 Member

    Aug 9, 2011
    New York City
    Club:
    Arsenal FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    RELAXED! THIS IS NOT RELAXED MY FRIEND! WE CRAZY! Who cares about fun, pro/rel is not fun, it is business! And why not Europe, Europe is the place to copy. Toronto FC deserve to be relegated while San Antonio and Puerto Rico deserve to be promoted while FC Edmonton is relegated and Orlando and Charlotte deserve promotion. If Europe (England actually) does it than we should to!!!
     
  20. chungachanga

    chungachanga Member

    Dec 12, 2011
    Now we are moving in the right direction!

    In all seriousness, how about reverse promotion? If you win MLS, you go to NASL. Win NASL, go to USL Pro. Lose NASL --> MLS. Lose MLS --> Champions league.
    It would be like Europe in its simplicity, but also American in its ingenuity.
    It would strengthen lower tiers.
    It would give some purpose to teams like Toronto and CUSA.
    It would increase financial parity, because fans and money from winning teams would move towards losing teams after each season.
    Teams wouldn't have to suffer because of mismanagement/bad owners.
    It would ensure financial sanity, because having the cheapest players would be beneficial.
    It would give everyone a better chance to win, because any champion would go down a tier before they can become a dynasty.
    It would improve MLS international image, because it would provide a credible excuse for losing the CCL every year (you faced our worst teams, Galaxy would destroy you all).

    There's no need to over-reward the best teams with CCL spots and such. They are already fine. We need to take care of teams like Toronto before they lose all their fans. That's where pro/rel could be really helpful.
     
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  21. Arsenalkid700

    Arsenalkid700 Member

    Aug 9, 2011
    New York City
    Club:
    Arsenal FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    How about this.

    The MLS Champion gets relegated to the US Development Academy League while the MLS losers are forced to play the San Marino national football team. The loser of that match has to become the slaves of the newly reborn Julius Cjeiuabhsudb (That Roman guy).
     
  22. chungachanga

    chungachanga Member

    Dec 12, 2011
    Slavery is illegal, be rational. We shouldn't waste time on impossible ideas.
     
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  23. Arsenalkid700

    Arsenalkid700 Member

    Aug 9, 2011
    New York City
    Club:
    Arsenal FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Who says there impossible ;)
     
  24. crazypete13

    crazypete13 Moderator
    Staff Member

    May 7, 2007
    A walk from BMO
    Club:
    Toronto FC
    I like this additional slavery component*. I think slavery-as-a-way-to-improve-soccer in Northern North America is something that, logically, truly belongs in a thread about pro/rel. I mean, what other disincentive besides the possibility of being handed a pair of scissors and a one way trip to Hawaii to meet your team's next season task of cutting the all the grass in that State (combined with all of my other arcane limits to pro/rel) that would ensure a team never would never play poorly enough to relegate.

    *not really
     
  25. song219

    song219 BigSoccer Supporter

    Apr 5, 2004
    La Norte
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    Vanuatu
    This is where English as a language fails. This is not equal to demotion because the concept is being rewarded for failure. There is no good English word for this concept. The philosopher Scott Adams came up with the "Dilbert Principle" but it really just deals with a narrow situation.
     

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