I was hitting on this chick at the bar, and she wasn't digging it and I showed her a picture of Marek Hamsik and she ended up in my bed the next day... Marek is god amen
Have you heard about the rural legend of the Divine Marek? The great philosopher, the adventurer, the hunter who originates from The Slovak Mountains. His father was a goat farmer, his mother was the average mother. Mateo and his family was very very poor. Marek ate goat cheese for breakfast, lunch and dinner. He drank his mother breast milk every morning. It is no mystery why the great marek has exceptional strength and intellegence. One day marek was kicking his ball made out of stone, at his fathers cows, they went moo, and poo till the sunset. One night in the mountains marek was gathering wood for his father. On the trail to the trees, the great dio reflevmction came into the sky and he talked to him. Marek was scared... He gasped " Who are you" " I am King of the Neopolitoneons, the urban king, the father of scugnizzo's, I hail from the troughs of Bueonos Aires," "Why are you talking to me" marek was scared he was only a boy" " Marek I can not be the king anymore, the world is against me, your the only one I can trust, your exceptional strength is infinitive, a great mind, it must be the calcium in Ya mothers breast milk" "He wanted to run from him" "Marek my son it's okay, trust me, napoli is all love, but you must promise me something, do not trust that Judas that cavani, do not eat that pig pocho, it is dangerous I forbid you, neither can gargano, send him to turkey he is a stupid fool" Marek agreed with his destiny, he went into a cave, with his lantern and carved himself a razor, and his piss to use as facial cream, he shaved the sides of his head where he created the divine Mohawk. Marek said goodbye to his mother and father and as he went he hiked down from eastern Europe through to the mountains of the swiss land, he than swam through the lake boardering the alps through northern italy, he eight fish do get his divine strength, he then went to Turin 20 barberians in turinius attacked marek, but marek was too strong his swordfish headbutt denied them all! He was now in the Roman mountains, he then took on 100 wolves, but as much as they tried, the great Marekiaro evaded them all but it was now where hamsikus made his mark, found his home where he became congruent with himself and soul to the san paolo, defeating all barbians, the lazialus, the the chievus, and the rubentus, he took on Europe against the villarelus, and of course scoring the di am goal in the coppus italius against the rubentus of turinus as he has done many times beforth. Marek is the god, only he is the soon of Maradonus of Buenos Airus, MAREKIARO IS THE LIVING LEGEND, HE IS THE GOD FOREVER!!!
from Josh's picture in the transfer thread lol Hamsik decided that he needed to train for another hour, so he in fact willed it. He turned the time back an hour, as Insigne and Radosevic looked at their watches and watched the time go back.
oh my Marek...my side is killing me from the laughter...this is by far the greatest thread EVER....holy shit...I can't stop...
Gattuso had questioned Hamsik's claim to being a god, saying that Pirlo was a god, to which Hamsik replied "What is he without you and Seedorf at Milan?" to which emotions flared and Gattuso wondered why he could not touch him... it was because he found out then and there... Hamsik is a GOD. amen
It is of much debate amongst the Napoli forums how Walter Mazzarri chooses his starting 11's, some say it is because of male-on-male interaction. Photographic evidence has foretold this, Mazzarri wanted to bench him for Lucarelli if he did not accept his kiss, but Hamsik said "I will be your starter and you will not take me out of the starting line up" and through his magic, Mazzarri did not touch him in the starting line up, and well what is the reason? Hamsik is god. Amen.
..."And the crowd went forth, two by two into the San Paolo Stadium and there they bore witness to a glorious event. It was He who came from afar. The people said unto him, "MAREK! VULIMM' U SCUDETT'!" And He waited for the crowd to silence before raising his hands and announcing unto them, "E ALLOR', U SCUDETT' VE RONG!!!!" To which the crowd exhaulted and the Vesuvius erupted in celebration. The Gospel of the Mohawk. Thanks be to Marek. Amen.
wtf lol I tried to upload elvesuvios first Hamsikshop pic as my icon and its giving me shit lol... hope it works asap
Great story Will now I know you really are part Greek. The Greeks know how to tell stories...you might have a bit of Homer or Plato in your blood