I think it's important--vitally so--to point out that match and league context, expectations and other intangibles matter greatly here. I'm sorry, but there just can't be steadfast rules where you are sending players off "regardless" on language. By way of example, yesterday I was the AR on a men's amateur game with a team that was composed exclusively of black players who were of various Caribbean descent. The situation that Wahoo faced occurred quite often. The word was used as part of their language and interaction with each other. No one from the other team was offended or even noticed it was going on. Now, are you saying that you are going to insert yourself and start issuing red cards in a men's game when this is going on? We always hear talk about how we let Irish and British players get away with copious utterances of the word "f****" because it's just part of the culture of their game and it's impossible to police. But we're going to police black players saying the n-word to each other in a banter-like manner with red cards? Good luck with that. Also, to the initial question, Andy has the answer right, quite obviously. But again, I think the answer is in a very neat vacuum that we don't often find ourselves in. If a single player goes off in the way described by the initial poster, Andy's advice is perfect. But I think I've only seen that situation once on a game I've been involved in. Much more commonly, I've seen the situation where a team that is almost homogeneously comprised of one ethnic group or race starts to slowly build the case against the referee with subtle and somewhat ambiguous language. Things like "this happens every year to us in the playoffs, they don't want us to win" or "why aren't you calling that foul against them, referee?" The somewhat common dissent that we get takes on a tone that has veiled accusations of bias. In short, this is where the true insinuations start. It's very difficult to crackdown on without escalating the situation. And, when a really controversial incident (or perceived controversial incident) goes against the team in question, you then get the full-blown accusations of racism. The problem is, if you react immediately with a red card, it has become a self-fulfilling prophecy in the eyes of the team--not just the player you sent off. It's a very dangerous territory for a referee to find himself in and it can spiral out of control very quickly. I would never tell someone not to send a player off when he calls you a racist or accuses you of racism. Please don't read this post in that manner. But I also don't want referees to think these are easy, clean, open-and-shut cases. In many instances, the red card is only the beginning of your troubles when a match reaches a point where this is occurring. So I'd offer the parallel advice of being very cognizant of developing situations and trying to communicate effectively with the most reasonable players on a team so that there's a chance you have an ally or two if things really spiral out-of-control. It's probably worth noting here that the experiences I'm relaying and the advice I'm offering is all relative to the men's amateur level. None of this (or almost none of it) would apply at the youth level--I hope that's obvious but figured I should include the stipulation.
Ah, and that'll get you in trouble in the Six Counties, in certain parts, at least. "When an Orangeman dies his toes turn cold, his bones begin to rattle and the divil takes his soul. The gates of Hell fly open and the divil cries for joy, "I've a nice spot picked out for you, me bold Orange boy."
This seems to happen quite frequently, and my go-to fixer is usually to hold up play at the next stoppage and go to the offender, captain or coach (depending on my mood and what I feel is most necessary) and tell them, "I am not here for you, I am not here for them, I'm not even here for myself. I am here to respect the laws and spirit of this sport we are all lucky enough to be playing, and I absolutely will not stand for any insinuation that I might have some pre-conceived bias, for or against anyone." This usually gets a "I didn't mean nothing, ref" but the stage has been set, and I typically go a little out of my way to be a bit more talkative and supportive of the player who started it, because if I have to toss him for any reason, I want him to know that I did everything I could in my power to keep him in the match, but the laws called for it, and that is that.
I don't work men's soccer. If I did, perhaps I'd have a different perspective, but I doubt it. There are some words that are so offensive they have no place in polite society. That's one of them. I understand that some consider it "cool" to use among themselves, but such a thing flabbergasts me.
I don't know what all of the US is like. But pockets of radical racism are still real where I live. I know racist refs, and I know racist coaches. Both ways, btw. Blacks that hate whites, and whites that hate blacks. Something like this would seriously lead me to consider abandoning a game (out of fear of what's next, if nothing else). After this line has been crossed, what, precisely, is to be gained??? I've been called a racist once. But that was after I sent the guy off. Thank God his coach layed into him when he said it. I can't imagine trying to re-establish command presence after something like that. I worked with a black ref who was called the N word. Again, we sent the player off while his entire team screamed at him. Now, for the day to day, common vulgarity.... Before reffing, basketball was my go-to exercise. Very often the rare white guy on a black court. There is a certain vocabulary that is accepted brother to brother, and no other, if you know what I'm saying. I've encountered that on the soccer field, and I treat it like a foreign language. If I understand it, and find it potentially explosive, I draw a public line so I can deal with repeat offenses. I've never had it go beyond that. As for "boys", don't use it. Even with U10s. All you need is somebody's older brother to take offense.
Sorry, with foul language the community standard takes precedence over your own viewpoint. Suggest you purchase and watch Chapelle's Show for context and desensitization training.
And you think you'd start to "fix" that double standard with your red card? I would suggest you submit an opinion piece to your local newspaper rather than start sending off black soccer players on Sunday afternoons. Neither is going to be effective in changing the phenomenon, but one is going to get you in a lot less trouble and at least allow you to express your feelings. Also, insofar as amateur soccer goes, you could very much make the argument that it is a "community standard." Players don't take offense at the language which opposing teams use amongst themselves. Players don't get upset with the use of the n-word by predominantly black teams, just like they don't get upset at the use of the f-word by predominantly Irish teams, just like they don't get upset at the use of easily translatable foul Spanish words by predominantly Hispanic teams. The list could go on. No one is asking the referee to be the language police when they come out to play on the weekend. That is the community standard.
Am I going to fix the double standard, no. Am I going to send off when I hear offensive language? You bet I am. I am offended by racist language by anyone directed at anyone. I don't use it and I expect it not to be used around me. There's a very bright line between racist language and foul language. You can allow any team to curse at their teammates without having a problem. Now imagine instead that a team of white players wanted to call their teammates by the same racial epitaph that the team of black players are calling their teammates. You'll be lucky to only have a fight on your hands. However, having allowed one team to do it, you couldn't deny the other team the ability to do the same.
That raises what I think is the center point in this discussion. What is racist language? If two friends are talking to each other, and in friendly manner, as they always do, one calls the other the "N" word, is that racist? No bad intent is there, it's between two friends and neither is offended. You may be offended, but you are really eavesdropping, it's not like he yelled it across the field. If the only one offended is you, is it worth the AL red card?
If I hear anything objectionable only because I have stood in an inconvenient place for those speaking, I take no official notice of it but remind those involved the soccer field is not the appropriate venue. However, yes it is always racist. Any word that requires you to check to see what race the person who said it is should always be considered racist.
Leaving aside the point that it's hard to classify the language as "racist" when it's being delivered in a friendly manner between players of the same race, I would state that it's probably a good thing you don't work certain men's league then. Don't mean that as an insult, it's just reality. Because your personal standard would not mesh with certain teams in some very high-level amateur leagues. I don't think I can imagine a quicker way to lose control of a game than to send off a black player for calling his teammate by a word that only you find offensive in the given context. I can almost guarantee that it will not be the last red card you give that day. For you, it seems so. For others, not so much. Saying it is so doesn't make it so. I thought about responding to this quote in detail, but I think I'm going to take a pass on it because it's going to push into a larger sociological/political discussion race, which is someplace I don't want to go. You obviously have your opinions that are unlikely to be altered, so it's not worth furthering the debate. All I'll say is that a strong referee can manage his way out of any of the potential foolishness you're referring to here. And if it can't be managed, then there probably were already bigger problems in the game to begin with.
No offense taken. I fully agree. The environments where such things are accepted are not environments I care to be in. A strong referee can work out of just about any hole. That it would take such a referee to deal with it speaks to how big a problem it really is.
If you add "sometimes" to your statement, I'm on board. Cuz there are other times when the statement would be just nuts. Moreover, in my experience, even if they don't take immediate offense, the gates of hell have been unlocked, if not completely opened. I have never let this (or similar) go un-dealt-with. At a minimum, I've always felt the need to make it known that today's vocabulary has limits, and we're all going to try to live within them. And I've never run across a team that couldn't live with that.
I like the way OldRef phrases that. I think anytime there is language used that could lead us down a bumpy road it's good form to swing by and reset expectations with the player. Makes it easier to crack down on it later if you start to see a problem. We've had many discussions around abusive language and I think context is vital. Being able to judge the reaction of the players and understand what those words mean today are critical to success. If you read up on what the US Supreme Court had said around this over the years I think it provides an interesting angle that we can actually apply to the beautiful game. There is nothing more frustrating to me than to see a referee apply their own interpretation on what is said to an opponent/teammate. Seeing a referee overreact to something that no one else on the field cares about is painful. I knew a referee who had these triggers with specific words (drop an F bomb and you're gone) and phrases. He gave a 2CT for a player saying "you have got to be kidding me!" and it became the precipice that the game plunged over mere moments later.
Yes, this discussion could go in the sociology-anthropology direction, but I also think there is a linguistic direction as well. The N-word can, obviously, be used as an enormous insult. There are similar words that can be used to describe other ethnic groups, although the reaction is, typically, not as violent. For mine, "Mick" can be somebody's name, but it can also be a very derogatory term used by Brits for any Gaelic-Irish male. Essentially, then, a word can have more than one meaning and one of those meanings, but not usually more than one of them, may be an insult. So I suppose one could argue that it is our responsibility as a referee to understand when the N-word, or any other common insult, is used as an insult and when it is not. I would submit that, when used between two African-Americans, it is not usually intended as an insult and has almost the same definition as "dude." Call the game that the players expect and not the one that you think they should play. I once had a discussion with one of my State One Referee's. He'd cautioned a player for calling him a "F...ing Mexican." "Now if he had called you a F...ing Guatamalan, then you would have sent him off!" So, if the player uses the wrong insult for your ethnic group, is it still OFINABUS? Or just stupidity?
Reading some of these posts reminds me that there are a lot of people who lack street smarts. If the referee crew are the only white people on the field and you're going to send someone off for this kind of comment between two black teammates, please don't do it while I'm running your line. Things usually go south quickly if the referee is enforcing standards that the players don't expect, especially when it is accompanied by a red card. A warning may be necessary depending on the setting, but don't go straight to the back pocket when none of the players is batting an eye.
Has anyone else noticed how much Latinos, and mostly teenagers, are using the N word on a regular basis? I have not noticed this with amateurs at all, but during HS, college, and youth games it seems to be more and more common, You're not playing. Who cares what you're offended by. Leave your super sensitivity at the house before you go ref. The point is, when said between teammates, it's NOT racist, it's just a word.
Thinking back on the few times I've heard insinuations of racism, it was never when both teams were of the same ethnic background. The white teams don't do it at all. The black teams, maybe once in forever. But the hispanic teams are very quick with this trigger, and it seems to be their go-to option.
I'm not going to lie, I'm about as non PC as anyone can be but it does matter if he is offended. The card is for offensive and abusive language. It doesn't say anything about who is saying it, where they are saying it or who they are saying it to. If you allow language such as this just because someone is of a certain race then you are creating a double standard that IS racist. Let's not forget that young kids could be at the field as well, and while I know we aren't really supposed to concern ourselves with the fans, you have to have some common sense and police things to a certain extent.