Food thread/Your Best Meal..drool

You confuse me, Vince?

Thanks @Playboy Red Devil ! I used to always just slap stuff on a plate too but I've become a bit of a pedant for making it look decent these days - it's actually quite easy when you get the knack of it. It helps out though, because inviting a girl around to yours for dinner is an absolute winner (best way being to meet up somewhere in the day, then buy and cook the shit together later on), and the more you impress the more it pays off later on . I don't know why, but it seems to be something women really like, when you can cook well and make it look good on the plate.

I can concur, chicks eat that shit up.

I saw those pictures late at night when I was hungry but couldn't really eat anything as my scheduled meals for the day were already consumed.

I guess I can consider myself lucky that I've still got the metabolism of a 14 year old crack head then!

Haha... I've not heard the term mince used in quite some time. Yeah. I've had it - I don't like it. If you are avoiding meat, avoid meat, this dillydallying with fake meat makes no sense to me. ** not directed at you.

I'm well aware of the horse meat snaffu. It made a minor play on the news here.

I even had an argument with it over my sister. I was arguing that horse meat has been called beef in the past and she, the person with a terminal degree in agriculture thinks she knows everything in general but definitely everything remotely related to her subject (runs in the family) was vehement that there was no chance it was ever called beef.

I was right, but to prove my point, I spent a bit more time with horse meat than I would have liked. Quite a lot more of it is consumed around the world than one might think actually and I don't think I'd want to eat it every day, but I'd try it.

I cook meat balls by pan frying. I usually use bacon grease.

Pah, nothing ********s with curried alligator tail.

You are right, but no reason to stop at the tail - the whole thing is good. We had curry caiman when I was a child, caught in a 'gouti trap. Delicious. I will swear by iguana too.

@Republic of Mancunia ... I just Google everything I cook, to be honest.

300g beef mince, 300g pork mince, 1 egg, 100ml milk, some salt, pepper, dill (or any green shit can work - parsley, etc), and some bread crumbs or crushed cornflakes if you want some crunch. Mash them together in a bowl (I guarantee your hands will be f***ing FREEZING! ), then make them into 2-3 very long sausage-looking things, one at a time. When you get the 'giant sausages' (thin but long) done, fill a glass with water and get a steak knife. Cut off a tiny bit at a time and roll them into balls (run your hands under the tap now and then or the meat starts sticking to them as opposed to forming balls), then do the second and third ones.Dip the knife in the glass of water every now and then, to stop the meat sticking to it. Put them in a baking dish, on plate or whatever for an hour and lob them in the fridge to go firm.

Then when you take them out, put 'that' pan that everyone has that burns everything you put on it, make sure it has no ridges. Put it on top heat on the hottest ring, add oil and let it get hot enough that the oil is beginning to burn (silly hot). Lash on the meatballs, maybe 6 at a time (whatever you can manage) and let them go brown on the outside - DO NOT BOTHER TO COOK THEM THROUGH!! You will burn them too much doing this, just let them go a little brown on each side, maybe 1-2 minutes per batch. Throw them back on a plate with some kitchen paper to get the burned oil/grease off.

Make sure to put the fan on top heat and/or open the window or you will likely set off the smoke alarm!

When they are all done, throw them in the oven at 180 or under the grill for a bit on a baking dish. Should do the trick. It's handy because you don't have to put them straight in, they're grand to leave for several hours or even overnight.

Yours sincerely,
DeliaIreland.

Mince... is meat?

All burgers are made from mince?

I am conflustered?

EDIT: Nevermind, just saw the rest of ROMs post.

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Could not give a feck about horse dna, to be honest. Plenty of cultures eat it as standard, and they have always struck me as cleaner and leaner animals than pigs or cows. It's one of those things... sure kangaroo tastes more or less exactly like steak, but leaner (only if you cook it on the pan, it stinks the house up something rotten - or at least funky).

Crocodile and iguana would be interesting. I never, ever understood why people who eat meats that they are familiar with can sometimes be so worried about a different animal that is certain to have at least a similar texture (I don't mind different textures at all, but can understand why that would worry some people as opposed to say, taste).

I would eat croc in a minute, but never had it.

I thought croc/alligator (which ever it was) tasted pretty bland and it had a weird jelly like texture.

Never had it, so I can't say. but most meats are quite bland to be honest, which is why seasoning, etc is so important and why fillet steak will forever be the king of meats.

Apparently Heston (f'k I love that man!) has proven that this whole 'sealing the flavours' thing is pure bullshit. Don't know if it's true of not, but the's the food/science guy, and it always has seemed to me to be one of the wankier things used by the more pretentious 'celebrity chefs' (like whatshisface on the Knorr stockpot adds, the one that has serial date-rapist written all over him).

Just taking some wind out of your sails . Nah, but I know what you mean and yeah, it seems to help hold them together and gives a better 'chewier' texture with a bit of crispiness on the outside.

You can always make a giant batch, put most in tupper ware (like the shit you get from an Indian, run it through the dishwasher and there's a lunchbox for you; the plastic one, not the foil tin) and it's fine to take out and microwave for 2mins to defrost at any time before seering as well. Saves the hassle/wait of putting them in the fridge for an hour.

It is all about Cool Ranch Doritos Locos at Taco Smell, specifically the Supreme. Fack it is $3 dollars each at downtown San Francisco and I got six of it. I never thought my effin bill at TB would be $21 dollars. Eff my girl got a bowl and she only paid less $5 for her damn meal. However that $21 was worth it. I was so damn hungry.

Second one looks really good!

Another worth a go that I usually try to make for work, but I don't really follow the ins-and-outs of dieting much so add/remove whatever you want. No real measurements, so imagine this as filling a lunchbox:

About 1/3 of the lunchbox/bowl with pasta (I usually go withpenne/sprialli), boiled then ran under water to go cold. Add about 2tsp pesto, then get a fistful of nuts (I use peanuts, work great), crushed with the back of a wooden spoon and mixed in as well.

1-2 chicken fillets, grilled or baked or whatever whole, and shredded. Amazed I never knew how to make shredded meats, it's really easy! Just let it chill, stick a fork in one side, gently brush another for along it width-ways until you can see the fibres, then tear down more aggressively. Clear the fork every now and then because it gets clotted in there. Also removing the skin makes it easier, if possible. Mix this into the pasta.

Get some lettuce/rocket/spinach - of whatever green shit you prefer, I like those three most. Put a 'bed' of it on top of the pasta/chicken.

2-3 rashers (won't work for the Americans as well, with your fatty bacon ). Cut it into really thin strips length-ways, then hold them all together in strips and cut into tiny, tiny pieces. Or buy it in bits already, but you tend to pay more and I am a bit paranoid that they use the shittiest meat for that stuff. Then set the pan to top heat on the hottest ring, add some oil, leave it until some smoke is coming up and ass the bacon bits, always stirring. Only cook for about 2-3 mins, it should be good and crispy, with some bits a little brown. Drain on kitchen paper, and sprinkle over the top.

Get some cherry tomatoes (they need to be ripe!), cut in half and put over the top again. You can dive standard tomatoes if you prefer, but I prefer cherry tomatoes.

This final bit is love-it-or-hate-it: 1-2 poached eggs. They are really easy to do, funny enough - just needs a little preparation. Get the smallest pot in the house, fill it about 10% with vinegar, then another 40% with boiling water. Get a bowl and fill it with some ice-cubes and water (or pop it in the freezer at the very start of cooking, if no ice-cubes). Get about 6-pieces of kitchen paper and layer. Crack an egg into a tiny cup of some sort, and stir the f*** out of the water/vinegar in the pot at medium/high heat. When you get a 'whirlpool' in the middle of the pot, quickly pop in the egg (the smaller the pot, the more concentrated the whirlpool) - aim for the middle, so it clumps together. The whirlpool will whip the white around the yolk to keep it soft, and the vinegar will make it coagulate and hold together. No vinegar is the main reason people are perplexed as to why their attempts at poached eggs they wind up with gloopy white water. Leave in for about 4 minutes, carefully move to the ice-water for 1-2 minutes to stop it from cooking internally, then on the paper to drain the water, and then on to the very top of everything else. Only poach one at a time!!

In total:
Pasta/pesto/(pea)nut/shredded chicken mix, topped with...
Salad/lettuce/spinach mix, topped with...
Chopped cherry tomatoes and tiny crispy bacon bits, (optionally) topped with...
Poached egg.

It is unreal with some Caesar dressing, but if that's not in line with your diet the egg yolk also oozes out as a kind of sauce and works surprisingly well with everything else. Doesn't take too much to fill, but I don't have a big appetite at all and have gone through nearly 2kg of this at once before without being too hungry beforehand!

Handy thing is you can make a LOAD of the pasta/pesto/nut/chicken mix in advance as well as the bacon (kept separate to keep the bacon crispy), and the poached eggs a bit in advance too since it is all a little bit finnicky/time consuming (but can be done passively while watching some football on the weekend, etc), with the lettuce bits kept in a bag obviously. Then it only takes 5 minutes to slap together and add the tomato (don't do them before, or they go dry and tasteless).

Don't forget Google is your friend .

https://www.google.ie/webhp?sourcei...G4&fp=4e4be31b8b40938e&ion=1&biw=1024&bih=505