dispatches from the National Review cruise

http://nymag.com/news/features/republican-caribbean-cruise-2012-12/

This article is weaponized schadenfreude. That's the first thing.

But the other thing is that it's a wonderful depiction of the delusions of the true believers. I hope we liberals never get that unplugged from reality. These are the kinds of people who hear the phrase "liberal fascism" without batting an eye. (And probably "atheist Muslim" as well.)

My favorite image is probably of Deroy Murdock discussing the Rolling Stones' "Brown Sugar." Too, too freaky.

The moral of this story appears to be that the smart people in the Republican Party are vastly outnumbered by the dimwits, but it's the dimwits who give the smart people their marching orders.

Glad I skimmed to the end...

On the leeward side of the Nieuw Amsterdam, John Yoo stood next to his mother, Sook Hee Yoo, a small, elegant Korean woman in black-framed glasses. She described herself as nonpolitical, an objective observer. And she had a diagnosis.

“To protect the ego, you have a defense mechanism: denial and projection,” she told me as her son leaned in to hear over the party din. “You deny your problem, saying it’s your fault and not mine. Instead of projection, blaming other people, we have to think of a positive solution. But I didn’t hear that yet.”

“They are still grieving,” she concluded as her son winced and began to break in, fearing she’d gone too far. “I hope not for more than six months. The grieving process should only be six months. If it goes on for more than six months, it could go into a major depression.”

Still, I was hoping the ship would hit an iceberg at times.

Why are Schapes and ITN so hated around here?

Because they're annoying trolls more interested in ranting and spewing talking (long ago refuted) points than actual conversation? Just a guess.

Sook Hee knows of what she speaks. The GOP has become the party of malaise and misery. The party of survivalists, of inflation fearers and immigrant complainers and public-school avoiders. The party of the anti social. The party of nay sayers and we can't do thaters.

And this is America that the GOP wanted. These are Reagan's tax rates, this is Reagan's military, these were the GOP's Mideast wars, this is the GOP's war on drugs, this is the GOP's floating currency and global free trade and NAFTA. The GOP should be delighted. It should be proud about the America that it built.

But nope, it's not. No positive message to offer. Just complaint, fear, anger, more complaint.

Yucko.

You know, I have always been anti-cruise ship. I have spent several vacations laying on multiple beaches, completely relaxed, and making some effort to get a feel for the local lifestyle over the course of a week or two. I realize that even that is a false impression of life on an island, skewed by the resort, etc., but I always try to get into the culture a bit. I watch in amazement as these big ships pull into port, release their tourist hoards on the t-shirt shops and Jimmy Buffet themed-restaurants within a stones throw of the dock only to suck them all back up again within a few hours to head to the next island paradise.

That is just not my thing, but I guess I always understood that there was a real benefit there for the less adventurous traveler who "only likes to unpack once" and can't get enough of the endless buffets. Fair enough. I don't think I will be able to do this, even when I am old and crabby. But my assumption is that even though the typical cruise would be hell on earth for me personally, I did respect the huge smiles and rave reviews I hear from cruisers who swear by the big boats. Having said that, this particular cruise sounds like just about the worst thing I have ever heard in my life. All of the negatives of the typical cruise mixed in with these miserable people? Wow.

The visual of Ralph Reed in lime green pants with a dolphin pattern and a navy shirt with a white collar is just too much to bear. And he was apparently the young, hip guy on the boat.

I was on a cruise once. As good as a cruise can be, in the Baltics in midsummer, landing almost every day in great places like Copenhagen, Oslo, St. Petersburg. Was still boring. Won't ever do one again, not even if 95 years old.

My GF and the other ladies in her family have gone on a "cruse to nowhere" a couple times. Leaves Norfolk, goes out for a day and a half, then turns around and heads back.

I've only been on one (won it at work as an award) at least it stopped to let you off in Nassau - where everyone wanted to braid the ladies hair or sing to you for cash until you walked a half mile to see what was outside of the tourist area, then the folks were all nice and the beer was cheap - and a "private island". It was fun. Not sure I'd do it again, it seems pricey when you don't get it for free - but it didn't make me say I'd never do it again. The two of us did convince the crew in the big bar to put on the home-opener for MLS we were forced to miss instead of baseball like most of the other passengers wanted

I kind of see your point. Allow me to respond.

1. ALL my posts aren't like this.
2. I engage people who disagree with me.
3. I live in the reality based world.
4. This thread is intended to be funny. I'm not expecting it to launch a good discussion.

I wouldn't compare ITN to schapes. ITN brought the funny from time to time. Schapes is just a bot.

C'mon, puttputt, did you read it? Didn't you think it was pretty funny?

The closest I ever got to a cruise ship is David Foster Wallace's essay, "A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again." DFW took the trip so I don't have to.

"A supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again" is a 90 page essay in the book by the same title. If you do go on the cruise, I suggest you bring that book and read it as prominantly as possible. Or just read it for incentive to fully take charge.

Internet access for $1.25 a minute? Do they at least bring you free drinks while you browse?

damn! I can have phone sex for less than that! (so I've seen on the advertisements, not that I have any direct experience )

my idea of travel is adventure travel. a cruise is the exact opposite of adventure travel. indeed, I don't even think of cruises as travel at all, other than you can check off some places on your list of places you've seen. you're basically bringing the trappings of America with you to every little 3 hour to a day or two stop over. not to mention every mile along the way on the open ocean. that's not travel.

One hour's worth of fees for that Internet service would have bought you 7 1/2 minutes with Suzy Hamilton. Not that you would have needed the full 7 1/2 minutes, of course.

no. I would have been done in less than half that time, foreplay and all - and given Suzy a facial blast too.

Like a regular cruise except the diarrhea comes out of people's mouths and there's a lot more closeted gay men in Brooks Bros. suits

I'd never heard of that essay until I read Alex Pareene's account of going on a "freaking cruise."

I go back and forth about cruises. I've never been on one and I feel like I should do the island-hopping kind at least once, just for the people watching. But I really, really want to go on a cruise to Alaska and to the Anarctic. (Two different cruises, just to be clear.)

It occurs tome I'm mostly talking Caribbean cruises in terms of things I'll forever avoid. A boatride own the Ohio and/or the Mississippi would be awesome, but I can't imagine anyine making money off of those. A Rhine cruise in Europe has its appeal as well. Alaska and Antartica would be a lot closer to something I might like, but I live in fear of 24-hour buffets. It takes a lot of work for me to avoid weighing 300 pounds.

You can island hop without going on a cruise. All you need is a base island and then take puddle jumpers and ferry boats to the other islands. My wife and I went to visit my brother who lived on St. Maarten, a popular cruise boat destination. We stayed a week, renting a villa @ a place called Dawn Beach and we took day trips to three different islands… St. Eustatius, Anguilla, and Saba. Three little Islands all off the beaten path and all three completely different. We drank beer with the locals, saw lots of cool places, ate lobster and jerk from road side stands and we were still do some cheap duty free shopping in Phillipsburg.

I’ve done the Caribbean cruise thing, the all inclusive resort ChrisM described, but this was definitely my favorite Caribbean vacation (and twice the vacation for half the price). On the other hand the idea of a cruise of the Alaskan or Norwegian fjords does sound appealing.

I left out the fjord thing, too, as one that appeals to me. My mother's family came from Norway, so it would be a low-impact way to get in touch with my inner Olaf.

We've never been on a cruise until this year, when we took two around the Caribbean. I guess it all depends on the expectations and for us was a very good experience.

I agree with most here in that the ports are too sanitized and they cater to certain types of tourists, but we enjoyed the food, the pool and specially the pampering while onboard. Service was very good, specially on the first of our cruises. Another highlight was the kids club and since we do not have family in town it was very nice to have some "we time" with the wife. We took a couple of shore excursions too and while they are also artificial, I cannot complain since we all enjoyed them.

Cost wise it was a very good deal and it was comparable to any of our usual outings, but I guess we don't have to factor air tickets (altough parking at the port is awfully expensive). We won't be able to cruise for the next two or threee years (baby arrives in February) but probably we will try to take a few more in the future, Alaska and Greece are in our list.