Club Policies on Parent Coaches

Discussion in 'Youth & HS Soccer' started by Eph4Life, Oct 1, 2012.

  1. Eph4Life

    Eph4Life Member

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2011
    Location:
    USA
    Club:
    Real Madrid
    Hello all-
    Looking for a little guidance here, and if this info is contained in another thread, please direct me there and I will be on my way.
    I am the proud father of a U-9 girl and a U-11 boy. Both are pretty good players, both of their teams are leading their Premier divisions in a fairly competitive area. Both teams are coached by someone who has a child on the team. On my son's team, not only does the Head Coach have a son who plays, but the assistant coach has 2 children who play as well.
    Do some clubs have rules that prohibit coaching your own child after say U-12? The reason I ask is when these kids were littles, they were far and away the best. Now, at U-11 they aren't, but they still play nearly 100% of the game. The other parents collectively are ready to mutiny because now the team could be so much better, and playing these kids the whole game is depriving some of the kids who need to grow and develop of playing time.
    I know confronting the coach will only result in less time for my kid.
    Any thoughts? Thanks.


  2. Bolivianfuego

    Bolivianfuego Your favorite Bolivian

    Joined:
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    Fairfax, Va
    Club:
    Bolivar La Paz
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    Bolivia
    I would say look for another club. If your true goal is to get your kid to develop, find a coach who is willing to do that with your kid.

    Find a team where the coach is a good 'coach' and isn't just about results, or hidden intentions like playing their kid.
  3. SheHateMe

    SheHateMe Member

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    Chicago Fire
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    United States
    No quality club will have parents coaching their own kids, but paid, certified coaches.
    jeremys_dad repped this.
  4. cleansheetbsc

    cleansheetbsc Member+

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    Mar 17, 2004
    Location:
    Albany, NY
    Club:
    --other--
    I only just started playing my son at center midfield :) Pure accidental to find out that he is really good at circulating the ball. He still plays equal minutes as everyone else.
    nicklaino repped this.


  5. nicklaino

    nicklaino Member

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    Feb 14, 2012
    Location:
    Brooklyn, NY
    Club:
    Manchester United FC
    We did not allow it with my club. I am not even sure it is in his sons best interest.

    We had a striker whose father was a wealthy lawyer who loves soccer. He is tge guy who practically redid the Met oval some years ago.

    He was a great guy and he wanted his son to play with our club. He picks up the costs of whole tournaments for his sons team.

    Every player on that team was a very good player including his son.

    There were two strikers with that club who were better then his son.

    So the parents started a revolt against his kid starting at one of the striker positions. In my view they were jealous of his fathers success in life.

    We the coaches at the club never made an issue out if it because all three strikers got equal playing time, and we were beating everyone. Plus we got a lot of money from the father that the parents did not have to pay.

    But the jealous parents kept opening their big mouths. So the player and the parents could not help but hear it.

    So they took their son off our club team and went to another club team.

    Then they wondered why their kids were playing in a lot less tournaments
  6. nicklaino

    nicklaino Member

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    Brooklyn, NY
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    Manchester United FC
    Check out the last Manchester united game forget who they played against Frideal was their keeper. Watch Manchester mid Paul scholes then show your son that games. Scholes distributed the ball unbelievably well. Funny Manchester lost tge game.
  7. bigredfutbol

    bigredfutbol Moderator Staff Member

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    Woodbridge, VA
    Club:
    DC United
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    United States
    Others have already weighed in on this--I agree that it's problematic, but then again in the real world it's tough to get enough people willing to coach who don't have kids playing. It's tough for the coaches kid, and it's a tricky situation.

    You say "confront" the coach; is that a deliberate choice of words? Does that mean that you've tried less confrontational approaches and they've failed, or that you know it wouldn't work? If that's the case, that's a problem.

    What really puts up the alarm flags for me is that you say you KNOW that your kid will get even less playing time if you do so. If that's really the case--if the coach would really punish a player because a parent expressed a concern--that's an even bigger issue than his son getting extra playing time, IMHO.
  8. Eph4Life

    Eph4Life Member

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    Sep 4, 2011
    Location:
    USA
    Club:
    Real Madrid
    Thanks very much everyone. The reason I know there will be repercussions is we have a very talented, freakishly athletic kid who is an amazing goalie, but hates playing the position. The coach asked him to play there and he refused; the boy didn't see the field but for 5 minutes a game. (He is also our best field player).

    The coach is definitely a hothead, but he is an exceptional trainer. The practices are well run, everything with a ball, no lines, no waiting and the kids in the program are good kids (except for the Coach's kids). My son's skills are improving, it is the Game time decision making and substitution patterns that are driving everyone crazy.
    I mean, game days are torture to watch as far as the blatant favoritism.

    Thanks again guys.
  9. cleansheetbsc

    cleansheetbsc Member+

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    Spurs - they also have that Dempsey guy.
    Thanks. I only saw the last frantic 30 minutes on Saturday - while prepping for my kid's practice. The match had broken down a bit by then.
    It was on repeat last night on FSC or MSG. You are correct, Scholes was masterful. Spurs was missing Scott Parker, who is my fave midfield distributor. Set the DVR to record the match on Friday morning. Might get the team together to watch that match. Despite the blah that Manyoo attacked and defended with, they moved the ball around really, really well.
  10. nicklaino

    nicklaino Member

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    Manchester United FC
    Dempsey had the winning goal
  11. chinaglia

    chinaglia Member

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    Jan 25, 1999
    Location:
    Florence, SC USA
    Club:
    Motherwell FC
    Country:
    United States
    Rec teams = okay for parent coaches
    U6 - U8 = okay for parent coaches
    U9 and above = paid, licensed coaches
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  12. Fanatical Monk

    Fanatical Monk Member+

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    I purposely stopped coaching my older son even though I was more much qualified than the coaches who did do it the last 2 seasons. He was far and away my best player, but I didn't want the appearance of favoritism to others. So I did the hard thing and stepped aside. It ended up being best for all really. Surpised some of these parents hang on to it so hard.

    He's now with a club in our city (not the closest, but the best for his development in my view). He came in and has worked his way from the u11 "b" team as a 9yo with Sept birthday to now getting calls up to the 12's as well. I could never, ever have done that for him as a coach because of the appearance to other parents.
    Eph4Life repped this.
  13. VolklP19

    VolklP19 Member

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    Jun 23, 2010
    Location:
    Illinois
    Yeah - who the hell is saying that this is premier soccer?

    Come on...

    u9 Premier - that's the first problem.

    Can I be the first one who says his player (u7) has a coach that won't let her play u16 because we both agree that she's not good enough?
    A star for any of you who get this sarcasm :)
  14. rhrh

    rhrh Member

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    Club:
    AC Milan
    It does depend on a few things. Age of the kids and competitiveness of the team matter. How the coach treats his own kid compared to others matters.

    If the club is not competitive, I don't think it matters, and if parents don't like that they get cut a deal in fees because a volunteer coaches the team, they should leave.

    If the club is competitive, it gets more difficult. The most competitive clubs pay their coaches, and for a parent coach to be paid, they must have top credentials where it is only coincidental that their child plays for the team. It goes without saying that it is likely a paid parent coach's son or daughter would likely be a starter on the team, and parents have to deal with the potential of favoritism, or the reverse - him sitting his son when he should have kept him in, to not upset other parents.

    It can work, but rarely does. When I coached my son, he got treated worse than other players, especially because he was improving a lot and others were not working on their own so staying still. I am glad I do not coach him any more, but he may end up on the team of a paid parent coach, and we are fine with that because the coach is outstanding with ALL players and does not give his son any special treatment.

    Any club with volunteer coaches is immediately suspect, whether it is a parent or another relative of a player, or even stranger, a random volunteer.
    SheHateMe repped this.
  15. us#1by2006

    us#1by2006 Member

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    Jun 21, 2002
    A parent coaching can be a difficult situation. I have seen and experienced from both sides. This thread misses the nuances I have seen.

    For example, do people realize that knowledgeable paid trainers have children too or is it just assumed that DOCs are sterile? I've seen development academy clubs with players who are children of the coaches involved. And these coaches are extremely knowledgable and experienced. And the players are pretty damn good too.

    As several posts have noted, the parent sideline becomes especially political when the coach has a child on the team. Bad things can happen. They don't always happen, but the possibility is certainly there by either poor decisions by the coach or poor decisions by the other parents.

    My net.....ideally the situation should be avoided by both clubs and parents. There are times when it is possible to have a successful situation....but there is always the possibility the situation will blow up.
  16. BUSA Bulldog

    BUSA Bulldog Member

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    New England Revolution
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    or both. I am living proof.
    Don't let administrators off the hook, though. They have responsibilities in this situation - to either avoid it or help solve it.
  17. rhrh

    rhrh Member

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    Club:
    AC Milan
    My son's club solved it by having the parent coach an assistant for his son's team, and they named another coach the head coach. The parent coaches a younger team as a head coach, but is an assistant for two U16B teams including his son's. Being a paid coach with a significant resume and record is important.

    And yes, parents who do not coach can have a huge negative effect. I'd rather my son be coached by a parent coach than by a non-parent coach, even paid, who panders to certain parents. Because of this, we are happy my son is on a B team (still going to many college showcases etc., in top twenty of the state and rising) instead of the A team (in top 3 in our state) which is fraught with controversy and cliques, and with 22 on the roster, is going to get worse not better politics wise.

    A captive audience is what we have to be for HS soccer, we don't want to pay for the privilege to be subject to biased coaches, whether because of blood or money.
  18. VolklP19

    VolklP19 Member

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    Location:
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    IMO u6-u8 is where they can pick up the right fundementals.

    I would go with a paid coach at that level as well so long as the player wanted to play at that level and had fun and it was NOT the goal of just the parent.

    Has to be the right reasons - has to be about the child.
    bigredfutbol repped this.
  19. Mirzam

    Mirzam Member

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    Arsenal FC
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    England
    I completely agree. My son started with paid coaches at U6, in an academy style program which totally de-emphasized games. Of course he had several parent coaches along the way, some okay, others not so much. But we never relied on them for technical training.
    bigredfutbol repped this.
  20. VolklP19

    VolklP19 Member

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    Right on!
  21. us#1by2006

    us#1by2006 Member

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    I have found that I cannot distinguish the quality of technical training by whether the trainer has bred or not. It is 2012, and there are some extremely knowledgeable parents out there. One down our street has a cap (yea, one of those caps that I have verified). He has forgotten more than the 24 year old kid who is collecting $35/hour running training for the local club will know.

    I have also found that in my area you cannot assess the quality of a coach by whether he is paid or not.

    I think the ideal environment for coaching is an orphanage. It removes the problems caused by any of the parents.

    The bottom line is there is a potential for problems any way you slice it.
  22. nicklaino

    nicklaino Member

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    Location:
    Brooklyn, NY
    Club:
    Manchester United FC
    Can someone tell me what are the qualifications of a paid coach who coaches under 6? Please don't leave any of their qualifications out because you think I should know the most basic ones.
  23. Mirzam

    Mirzam Member

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    I would be happy to, here is his resume taken directly from my son's former U6 coach's facility's website, I have removed his name and the team (now disbanded) he coached, but a quick google search will probably locate him:

    Coach was the Head Coach for the xxxxxxx U-23 PDL/USL Soccer Team for the past 10 years. xxxx led the franchise to a 121-46-19 record and two National Championships games in both 2002 and 2006. xxxx also coached the (name of collage) men’s soccer team for 7 years and led them to a National Championship in 2006.

    Coach has coached and placed over 50 past players into professional contracts both in the MLS and several internationally. Most recently, two of his former players, Robbie Findley and Clarence Goodson, both played in South Africa for the USA World Cup team.

    Coach started his playing career at age 5 in Sea Girt, NJ. He went on to captain his High School team to the school’s first ever state championship. xxxxx graduated from Randolph-Macon College in 1984. As a player he was awarded all south, all American, and captain of his team.

    Coach possesses a USSF National Soccer License and a NSCAA Regional Diploma. He has also coached for many of the local youth soccer clubs.
  24. nicklaino

    nicklaino Member

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    Thanks man how old is he, what does he charge for your son to play, what USSF license those he have and does he have kids of his own in or not in the program.
  25. nicklaino

    nicklaino Member

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    Location:
    Brooklyn, NY
    Club:
    Manchester United FC
    Instead of waiting for a reply I hate the thought of a coach getting paid to coach little kids. He can't do anything for the love of the game? Is he poor and has to take money to coach the little guys so he can put food on the table. If the money ran out would he quit doing then team.

    I think to be a good coach of little kids you should have some kids of your own. I don't mean on the team I mean to really know what kids are like and how to treat them as people.

    The older coaches with our club after they have done under 19. They go back and start coaching the little guys because it is a nice change of pace for them and it is big time fun.

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