Yesterday did a high school boys' regional final in the center, winner goes to state, loser goes home. Had a few nasty challenges in the first few minutes, including one I played advantage on leading to the first goal of the game. Chewed some players out and finished the match with only 1 yellow card, and lots of compliments from both teams. Today, I did a B13 final of a local youth tournament, again in the center. 3 yellow cards. And the coach of the losing team, whose players received 2 of the three thanked me after the game that I was so lenient with his first player to get a caution. The kid fouled the goalkeeper, but injured himself pretty bad in the process. I pulled the yellow, but held it at my side. The coach had to come take the kid off the field. I didn't display the yellow til the kid was up. But I still got good compliments from both teams. And for the record, not a fan of using yellow cards in U13 games, but all 3 were beyond well deserved.
Not the best weekend. Pretty much every center I did got out of control, even though the highest age I did was U-12. First one that got out of control was on Friday, when two babies went into the field, I stopped the game to make sure they didnt get hit, and one of the teams started playing before I blew my whistle, scored despite me blowing the whistle like 50 times for them to stop, and the coach went ballastic on me. Second game was on Saturday. I was working with a brand new AR. In one instance, the ball hits the cross bar, and goes down. I did not see if it went in or not, but I look at the kid and he wasn't moving or making any motions so after looking at him for a good 10 seconds, I kept going. Ball went out of bounds 2 or 3 times, and when I turn around, he has his flag up. I ask him what happened, and he says its a goal. I tell him that play restarted already so I couldn't award it. Was I right or could I still award the goal? Today, I had a coach who was being an asshole from the beginning. It was two teams from the same club playing against each other. Parents and players seemed well behaved at first. He bitched at my AR(my dad) for missing 4 offsides two minutes into the game when there werent even that many offside situations. Then he went ballastic when I awarded an advantage on the other team, and went back and called the foul after they lost posession one second later. Said "I had to make up my mind". I went up to him and told him. "You are the only coach here, so if I kick you out, your team has to forfeit the game. This is your last warning". (I had already gone up to talk to him a couple of times. By then, the players had gotten really chippy, grabbing jerseys and hitting each other badly on every single play, and the well behaved parents were now screaming at the top of their lungs about every single foul/throw in/offsides/etc. This ensued for the rest of the game, and I threw one yellow for each team for pretty bad fouls, but I mainly managed it by talking to the players. It didnt really help though, even though it was a U-11 game. Game ended 5-3, and I got the hell out of there. I realized I should've thrown out the coach much earlier, but hell would've ensued as I wasn't sure if I could end the game if there wasnt a real coach there. The other team's coach, after the game, told me that I should've thrown out a lot of the parents, but truth is that they were being annoying, calling me names and other stuff, but can I really throw out a parent for disagreeing with my calls and calling me names (as long as they aren't racist or offensive)? How do you guys handle unruly parents?
You need to get some help from your assigner or someone in a position of power in the club. None of the garbage that you had to put with should go unpunished. I wouldn't have tolerated one tenth of it.
Dont know howit is in other parts of te country, but here in NJ, the coaches are responsible for the parents. As in, "coach, i need you to get rid off parent x. Rog
No real "best" story. Had three games Saturday: U15 d2 middle, U19 d1 line, U16 d2 line. All of those games went pretty smooth. Today I had a mens open div 1b line at 11:00, then I went back home. Came back for a 5:00 mens open div 3 middle. This is where the fun began. There was a certain mls assessor at the game that came to watch me. Wasn't my best performance, but wasn't bad either. I learned a lot from that game. I also had eight yellows and one violent conduct send off. The two teams were playing for the final playoff spot to play for a div 2 spot next season. This league requires that you write an incident report for all cards (yes, even all eight cautions). I just put two full envelopes of incident reports in the mail box for one game. I'm just glad I finished all of that paper work, so now I get to drive back to College Station in the morning to go to my 4:10 class. The final game was an open mens div 2 line. 2-2 tie, but an old teammate of mine from my competitive youth team was the one send off of the game. There was an incident where a spectator slapped an opponent before a throw-in (open palm slap straight to the face). This was before the send off and was out of no where. It had been a calm match up to that point with only one caution, and you could probably count the foul count on two hands between both teams. Safe to say, I'm happy this weekend is over. Three mens games next Sunday in Houston. Hopefully next weekend will be much better.
Well, Celeste, I'll be honest. There are still some things in the tone of what you write that make me uncomfortable, but I also think you have your finger on a real issue here. First, let me suggest that your dad might be the best advice (since he was an eye witness) as to what you might change in your behavior to have your games go differently. It's not trivial, and probably won't happen overnight. But it is absolutely something every referee needs to work on. Keep asking questions and good luck. Second, welcome to "silly season". For those who don't know, we have just finished our "senior" (U15+) USSF youth season here in FL. Most take a break to go play NFHS now, and the U14- take over the USSF schedule. Invariably, at the beginning of that season, there are some adults that find themselves in situations they just cannot handle. I was a league admin for a number of years, and it was actually a running joke on the board. I, myself, abandoned a U14B game this last weekend. It had been 7 years since I had to do that (and, as I look back, it was for almost the exact same reason). The team had 2 coaches. After 10 min, the assistant had gone through "Ask", "Tell" (and, I will admit at least one other tell and a stink-eye). But, at least he eventually got to the spot where he understood that he couldn't open his mouth again without getting dismissed. Then the head coach took his place with the yelling. Again, I did the ask, then a tell. Finally, I told both of them that they had to understand they only had 2 coaches and both had been warned. It seemed to sink in for a while. Looking back, I probably probably should have pulled the trigger much earlier. For example, on their first substitution, they were angry at the player who came off. He sprinted straight to the bench, leaving the field from a crowd of players. Then they started yelling at their player to sprint on. I blew my whistle to stop him enterring and explained that I didn't see anyone leave: "Coach, I need them to leave at midfield so I can tell who is off and who is on." Asst coach reply: "Well, maybe you just need to pay better attention." Hmmmm....this will not end well. Anyway, the inevitable eventually happened. Second half, one of their players gets kicked. I stopped for the foul. "You ok? Need your coach?" "Yeah, but I need off for a minute." So I beckon the coach onto the field. and start backpedalling away from the injured player towards midfield. Coach comes onto the field directly at me. Screaming his head off. Not a care in the world for his injured player. Before he gets close, I blow my whistle and eject him. He continues screaming on his way back to the tech area. Then he calls his team over for a conference. Now his assistant is yelling at me. Fine. I eject the second coach and abandon the game (did I mention they were losing?). Was I the perfect referee? Probably not. But this is 8th grade soccer. And the kids were having a perfectly safe, fair and fun game. The adults messed it up. As a youth referee, you will need a strategy for handling those situations.
Two questions for old referee.. Did you have AR's? And if you did what in god's name were they doing on the subs? And a player being subbed can leave the field wherever he wants according to the Interpretations of the LOTG under Law 3: The player being substituted is not obliged to leave the fi eld of play on the halfway line I know it isnt a big deal, but it is sometimes easier to pick your battles over really important stuff.
Did a couple of U-little games at the military base nearby in the morning Saturday. Had three travel games in the afternoon. 14B, 15B, and 18B. I had the middle on the first. I gave two cautions I really couldn't avoid. One for tripping from the behind going into the PA. Wasn't DOGSO. Too many defenders present. The second was just a reckless studs up challenge. Overall it was a good match. The other two went reasonably well also. Maybe not "Best of", but I have to tell someone. Sunday 15B. The center is a younger guy and the son of one of our senior referees who is AR1. I get the parents (oh joy ). With there kids being 14 y/o and playing travel soccer that they had seen enough soccer to have learned at least some of the basics of the game. Not these gems. Several times the ball would simply make contact with the touchline and a chorus of "IT'S OUT!!!" could be heard. The usual "handball" cries everytime a ball merely passed near an opposing player's arm. Every time something didn't go their way, it was the referee team's fault. The arrogance was what got to me. Just an example: A defender was tracking the ball back toward his own goal. With the top of his knee, he plays it back to his keeper. The away parents yell to their players, "Pressure him, he can't pick it up!!!" I probably should've just kept my mouth shut, but I said, not very loudly, "Oh yes he can." One of the parents heard me and disputed what I had said. I just said, "It must be played with the foot." The reply, "No, only with the head". (Here's the best part.) "You need to read the book. One parent actually threatened the center. He said, in spanish "Arbitro! Se se espera que despues del partido!" (Referee! I'll be waiting for you after the game!) Of course, he was asked to leave. After the match when we went to do the paperwork, a crowd of away team's parents surrounded the area we were in making diparaging remarks to the center. The "gentleman" the was ejected even came back and tried to start a "conversation" asking what he had against latin people. There was no physical assault, but it got so bad we actually called the police. The really strange part was, the away team won the match 1-3 and there were two cautions, both to the home team. (really confused)
Is this required in Florida? It isn't in Utah (at least it wasn't when I was active). Savvy coaches would have there players leave from the nearest boundary to maximize playing time. Of course, these same teams would leave from the center stripe when they were ahead. When I was AR1 if I didn't see a player move toward the center stripe I would look for him elsewhere and when I had eye contact with the CR I would discretely point from about waist high.
I'm doing a high school boys' play-in game. Winner goes to the playoffs, loser is done. Visitors are from a part of the state where the soccer culture, shall we say, is a bit thin. I'm doing the coin toss and the visitors win. Four captains from their team. One of the players holds his hand over his mouth and whispers to the goalkeeper that they should take the north end of the field first. What? Like the other team is going to influence the decision if they know what you're thinking? Or maybe he was afraid the four captains would split, 2-2, on which end to take, since he didn't ask the others what to do, and I'd let the home team cast the deciding vote????? They lost, 2-0.
Agreed on the LOTG points. My ARs were a couple of 15 yr olds who were working their butts off to be in position for offside decisions (more on that later). This was my on me. This particular substitution took place when play was stopped in front of the team bench, and I was right there. Kid gets yelled at by coach and flies off the field to the safety (?) of his bench. Other kid starts to fly into the jumble (before any "beckoning"). I just tried to sort things out. At this point I was still as polite and friendly as I could be, really. I was just looking for help herding the cats.... And the coach zings me. Actually, I did choose to let it go; precisely in the spirit of "chose your battles". But looking back, the insult was a real danger sign. My ARs actually made 2 very big decisions. One to keep a flag down allowing a break that led to a goal. One to raise a flag to stop a break that looked very promising. Guess which team benefitted in each case? The screamnig that accompanied those incidents led to 2 of the warnings for the coaches. Both were no doubt colored by my "paternal" instincts to protect those kids. When I look back at MY performance on this game, I question some man-management decisions I made with the coaches. If I had done a couple of things differently, I might have been able to keep from tossing both coaches and abandoning. Sure. (Most likely by tossing one earlier.) But that would be me "outplaying" those coaches (something I certainly strive to do). It in no way diminishes the fact that they earned what they got. In a U14 game. And Celeste is likely to encounter similar personalities and coaching "styles" (which is the reason I told the story in the first place).
No. But not enterring before you are beckoned is. And, perhaps that would have been a better way for me to phrase it. But I really didn't want to direct blame at a kid (who, by enterring without permission might have just earned a YC). I was just asking for help from the coach (whose orders the kid was following by hustling onto the field). Ultimately, I'm pretty confident that if I had said: "Coach, I need the sub to remain off the field until I beckon them on" I would have receive a similar comeback.
Had 5 games Saturday. Morning started out really bad. I was on the wrong field (twice - all in the same complex, but it looked stupid since I went to check three sets of nets). I was also wearing an old badge because I couldn't find my current one. Went to put my flag in the air to signal goal on a quick in/out and it flew out of my hands. (My favorite tidbit from that is the coach arguing when he was at midfield and I was right on the goal line. His team won 6-1!) So, second game is U11B and I'm in the center. I gave a kid a caution because his cleat contacted another kids shin. Obviously caution worthy, even at that level. I tried to explain it to him, but words wouldn't form correctly. What came out of my mouth was something to the effect of "Your Thud contacted his..." and then I just stopped and gave up. Of course, the parents were going "he was just going for the ball". No arguments from me there, but he got the player and thats not allowed. Thankfully, things got better after that, and the last game of the day, also U11B was very entertaining - a 6-4 match that was 4-4 with 6 minutes left. Winning team was losing 3-2 at the half. Kids had good energy, and it was one of those games were it was "fun" to be a ref.
I would say that the 2 warnings were at least 1 too many. I have gotten very intolerant of coaches' shouting and dissenting. Remember, they have the right to be in the technical area and give tactical instructions to their team. Nothing more. I'm an older guy, grey hair and all. I figure that, if the coaches are dissenting with me, they must be real bad to a young ref, so I try to stop the dissenting and let them know it has no place in our game. I was centering a U-13B game a month or so ago. One team scores and the opponents coaches go nuts, convinced that they could tell offside near the end line better than the AR, saying AR1 doesn't know what he's doing. I told one of them to leave after he wouldn't stop, then another one chimed in, so he was dismissed, too. The last one left wisely kept quiet the rest of the game. Afterwards, he asked me if he could ask me a question. I smiled and said, "Depends on what it's about." He wondered if I shouldn't warn coaches before the game that I have a low tolerance for dissent. I told him that wasn't the way it worked, that they should go into every game thinking the ref won't put up with dissent, then go from there.
Tournament this weekend near my house, good opportunity to reunite with some ref friends and have a good time... Had one match that was between two evenly skilled teams, 4th time they'd played this season and they're one town from each other...I knew I'd have to cover a lot of real estate in this match. For some reason these teams really enjoyed playing in their respective LEFT corners, meaning I had multiple sequences where I'd get deep in one corner, possession would change and I'd have to sprint just to get deep in the OTHER corner. I normally wouldn't get that deep but learned early on in this match when the ref's not nearby, everyone turns into the Hanson Brothers from "Slapshot". After the match I looked at my borrowed Nike heart monitor watch and it read 4.1 miles! On a U14G match! Great match and both coaches appreciated that I left it all on the field for them. Then, on the field where my next game would be, I watched a CR make a gutsy (and correct) passback violation call which was converted into a late-game tying goal, which meant...OVERTIME. Then KFTPM. The final count for PK's was...2-1. Except for one which went right at the GK, well-taken PK's saved by great, young GK's. I got to play ball-boy and aside from the first PK taken which went high, none of us had to move, either went in the goal or was saved. I'm focusing on the positive from the weekend; there were certainly enough parent and coach moments to stretch my game management skills. But, with the end of the season approaching, I'm choosing to focus on the positive. Besides, around here the Colts are sucking up all the negative vibe...
This is something I should be more mindful of, sometimes coaches just need a friendly reminder of boundaries, others it's just helping them make sure they're not late for their next appointment.
This is almost verbatim one of my favorite talks to have with a coach when I feel he/she is getting out of line. Wait for a stoppage. Loud double whistle. Jog to coach. "Coach, it looks like I need to remind you that under the Laws of the Game, you have the right to remain within your technical area and to provide tactical instructions to your team, as long as you behave responsibly, and nothing more. Screaming and yelling at me and/or my AR's is not responsible behavior. If there continues to be a problem, there are other ways for me to deal with it. Are we clear?" Coach invariably continues to try to argue their case. "Coach, I didn't come over for a conversation. I said, 'Are we clear?'" Wait for coach to say yes. Works surprisingly well in most cases.
My stump speech is, "Coach, under the Laws of the Game, you are permitted in the technical area so long as you are providing tactical advice to your team and behaving in a responsible manner. If you can't do that, you can't stay. Thank you." No response from the coach asked for or expected. And I turn and head back to position. While the coach is clearly scratching his head wondering "What the heck did he just say?"
I like that. Sometimes, usually at U10 or below, I tell them that they may provide tactical advice and encouragement, and that "anything else would be irresponsible behavior," and leave them wondering.
So I spoke with my dad and brother (other AR) after the game, and we all concluded that the only thing I could've done was throw out the coach as he was very disrespectful way too many times and got everyone else agitated for no reason. It would've been unfair to the kids as the game would've ended right there, but those kids didn't deserve it anyways. NONE of them. As for the parents, I have no idea who said what, so my only solution would've been to kick every single parent out. I like what you guys have posted, and will definetely add it to my repetoire
"I'm not sure who made that remark, so here are the options: either you leave or this whole sideline leaves. Your choice."
NFHS JV. Dual. My partner is a USSF 3. 10 minutes into the game, he is well positioned as the ball is pinging around the PA on his end. I am maybe 35-40 yds from goal. Clearest DOGSO-H in the history of the world, right in front of him. He whistles and then looks at me in horror. Under FHSAA DOGSO-H is a blue card. He doesn't have one! As I jog forward, stifling my giggles, the kid who "saved" the goal is being congratulated by some of his teammates. I show him the blue card and say: "Denying an obvious goal scoring opportunity by handling". He looks at me and says: "What's that mean?" "You have to go off" "OK, no problem." I walk him over to the bench: "DOGSO Handling, coach" "What's that?" "Denying an obvious goal scoring opportunity. He's out for the game." "You're kidding me. Can I substitute for him?" "No" "And you're giving them a PK, TOO? That's really harsh." Variations on this conversation continued at every opportunity for the next 20 min. Seems I am the only person in the stadium to have ever seen a blue card (or heard of DOGSO for that matter). Half-time is a veritable lecture on NFHS misconduct penalties and the FHSAA modifications. 10 min into the second half, there is a breakaway on my end. Defender is chasing the attacker for 20 yards. He decides to wait to foul him 1 step after he enters the PA. I'm about 5 yards away when this happens. As I reach for my book, I'm thinking about game temperature (very cool), score (they are already losing 3-0), they are down to 10 men (and could hardly understand why), and mostly that in FL reds are accompanied by FINES to the athelte. I decide that one of the "Ds" is missing and pull a yellow. As I walk the carded player to the bench, his coach is already complaining that I am giving a PK. "It was outside the box." "No, coach. It was in. Unsporting behavior for a tactical foul. Are you subbing?" "Oh, I can sub for him?" "Yes. It's just a yellow." "Oh, OK. That's better." My partner is now the one giggling at me. He whispers in my ear: "That was a red." "Of course." "OK. Good decision." [giggles]