Best story of your week - 2012

Not a soccer story, but I drove with my friend and my sister 600 miles round trip to tiny Kanarraville, Utah on Sunday night to see the annular solar eclipse. Spectacular!

That's pretty cool! I'll make it soccer related. If you keep this in your back pocket, you can use it to explain your "blindness" some time.

I worked Center on a 14B match yesterday. Not very eventful, but toward the end, a smaller player (maybe four feet tall and 70 pounds) was going to goal. A larger player (probably 5' 10") beat him in the challenge and cleared the ball upfield. I turned to follow play toward mid-field, when suddenly, the little guy starts arguing with the larger one and runs up and pushes him. I stopped play, stepped in and pushed them apart. The little guy does it again saying "What you gonna do?" and "Bring it on!" Some of the players came and held off the barking Chiuaua, I showed some plastic, and we finished up.

Did AR1 on a U18B State Cup play-in game as well. Quite physical and very evenly matched. Only one pushing match, and the home coach got himself ejected. CR called a penatly kick, and the coach didn't agree. Before I could react, he was walking out onto the field toward the PA to argue with the referee. I'm not talking about stepping on the field. He was fifteen yards on the field and continuing. I called to him and said, "Coach, don't do this!" The center saw him and told him to leave the field. His reply, "You leave the field!" . The next response was for him to leave the match, and this was in the first half. Regulation ended 3-3, and we went all the way to KFTM. Home team lost when the forth kicker shanked it badly. Ended 2-4. I guess the coach won't get to serve his suspension until next season. Next weekend are the round robins.

I spent the weekend instructing and greeting at our annual Big Training Weekend. Grade 8 course, bridge course, Intermediate Course, Advanced Course, Assignor Course, clinics for referees who are beginners, clinics for experienced referees, on field training and assignors/instructors/assessors meetings. Then went to a MLS game with 20,000 fans and a diving exhibition broke out!

I'm having a hard time figuring out coaches. Where would he LEARN that behavior? Baseball? In baskets, it's a technical, pointy ball it's fifteen yards, and in our game it gets you thrown out. Do they all start with a chip on their shoulders and it only gets bigger?

No, they're just stupid.

If you could see this guy's pedigree, you wouldn't believe he would act like this. He has played and coached at the professional and international level in Bosnia-Herzegovina.

It's ego and agenda.

I had to deal with a coach that played international in Romania. Big pain in the butt.

But they aren't idiots. They are well respected members of the community who act like idiots on the touchline. I had a guy yesterday who I told not to yell at the CR (I was AR1). He told me he could do what he wanted. I told him he was coaching kids and he was NOT to do as he wanted. After the game, he was still seething (and the talk to happened in the first 15 minutes of the match). He came up to be and told me never to speak to him like that again. It is amazing what they think they can say and act like. And if I acted like that on the field, I wouldn't be invited back by my assignor. I pointed out to the coach that he was acting in the manner I had warned him about. Right in front of his team, he was giving the ref an earful. And I referee there every Sunday. It's not like I won't ever see him again.

Every now and then, you run into a guy who has come here from another country and he thinks that, because he did this and played that over there, that he has the right, nay, the duty, to teach these poor benighted Americans how to really play soccer, and that includes berating referees who don't see things his way. Ask, tell, dismiss.

I sometimes think that the average youth coach loses about 20 IQ points and a corresponding amount of maturity as soon as they arrive at the game . . .

Only 20?

I had a coach like that yesterday at State Cup - I told him if I heard anything more from him I'd have him dismissed - and I was 4O on an adjacent field! I already asked the 4O on that field to deal with it, but...

I know this coach indirectly, he is pretty involved in his community, etc. and a good guy off the pitch.

What got him so worked up? That a water break was being taken on the field - while I don't think it was communicated well by the 4O on that field (a 17 year old girl who isn't used to dealing with these kinds of coaches) , it was on orders from the Cup Committee and it was 90-freakin' degrees out there.

But he decided it would be okay to ream out the referee crew for it.

SC semi-final this weekend, U16B, I am AR2. Corner kick on my end.

It's dreadfully hot. Kicker setting up slowly. The inevitable crowd forming slowly in front of the keeper. I see the keeper spit into his right glove. I fully expect him to rub them from grip. But NO. He immediatly proceeds to wipe it on the shirtsleeve of an opponent!?!? My spidey senses are tingling like crazy. I know there's gonna be a fight. I'm about to yell, flag, run onto the field....

Nope, the other kid looks at him and they both just smile. Two, cute, little-boy smiles....like 2 happy pigs rolling in slop. In the middle of what had to be one of the most competitive situations in their young lives, they are acting like Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn. I could not believe my eyes.

At a quiet moment I discretely gestured to the keeper that I had seen it. His eyes got real big. He starts yelling back at me: "No. I'm sorry. I won't do it again." In my head: "Shut up kid, I don't want the world to know this happened."

At half-time, I told the CR to keep an eye on it. But there was really nothing there. Hard to believe, but I'm convinced it was a completely innocent act.

After the game, I had a chance to talk to the keeper.
"Did you know that kid?"
"No. He just told me nice save. I told him it was a good shot."
"Well, don't go wiping your spit on people, OK?"
"Yeah, that was dumb. I wasn't really thinking. Thanks for pointing it out."

I have an acquaintance who is from an Eastern European country. As a coach I have played against his teams for a few years, and in recent years have coached his son as the rosters got larger and the teams consolidated. A former professional player and a very likeable and overall good guy.

But from a different culture, in a devasted country from which he moved here and had to start from scratch with a wife and several kids. As a member of the disciplinary committee I had to confront him and punish him for his on-field behavior toward referees, including multiple instances of running onto the field to confront youth referees about their officiating. He expressed no remorse whatsoever about holding even youth referees accountable, in his way, for anything he thought they did incorrectly. It was like trying to convince Jesus that he should not turn the other cheek.

These folks are not stupid, criminal, or anything of the kind. They just have a different way of looking at things you and I do. Do what you need to do to manage the match, but please keep that in mind in working with them.

You've got to be shitting me. Send him back to Europe then.

He has been told several times as you say to adjust his behavior because the way he does things is not acceptable in this country. Just like I would give the thumbs up in certain countries he must adapt. Not even attempting to adapt to a countries social mores is in my opinion disrespectful.

He's fully aware of the consequences of running onto the field to confront a referee and yet he continues to do it. That is stupidity.

I had a much less drastic scenario this weekend, but with the coach ending up in the same place (anywhere but here).

Called a clear penalty when an attacking player was tripped by a defender just after a second defender had cleared the ball from the penalty area. It doesn't look good, but there's no question and my AR is signaling at the same time I blow the whistle. As I'm running through the PA en route to the goal line, I notice the defending team's coach running down the sideline. He stayed off the field, but made it down the line as far as the PA. I begin walking toward him, signaling for him to return to his technical area. Ask, ask, ask, tell, tell, tell. No movement. I end up face to face with him, telling him again to move. He wants an explanation for the PK - I tell him it was a trip and that he needs to get back to the PA. He decides to continue arguing. I advise him that he needs to find another coach. He initially said "I'm not leaving," but that quickly changed when I said, "well, the game's over, then." Three other coaches showed up a few minutes later and the defending team ended up winning 3-0 after the PK flew over the bar. Funniest part is that, aside from calling across the field to him while on my way to where he was standing, neither of us raised our voices. It was the most civil dismissal I've ever been a part of. Also the first time in many, many years that I've asked a coach to leave. I guess I just don't have the tolerance for it like I used to.

Worked 8 games this past weekend. Started with a three game local parochial league game, non-sanctioned 7th and 8th grader co-ed. I have the middle on the last game 9:00 PM start on a Friday. Get a head's up from the person running the tournament about the white team's coach, I tell em no problem, I'll handle anything that comes up. It's the guy and same team from the first game where there was almost a post-game fight because of this guy. Oh boy. 10 minutes in and one of his players makes an attempt on a ball with a high kick. When I say high-kick I mean his foot went above my head and came down and caught the opponent in the shoulder. Easy (pink) yellow card. Wasn't malicious and wasn't a hot match at that point. White coach is screaming from 60 yards away. I hit the whistle, tell everyone I'll be right back don't start. Jog to the sideline and start with the "safe" sign (used in baseball) and get him quiet. I explain the yellow, the fact that it could be red and that he is officially warned and another peep and I'll dismiss him, am I clear? After repeating 'am I clear' three time, I finally get an acknowledgement. One small word from him at the start of the second half and I return a look. Five minutes later and a play an advantage for his team at midfield right in front of him. He say's "yeah ref, you didn't see that. I know you're blind". Whistle, "hold the throw. Coach, you're dismissed. You have two minutes to leave the field of play or I abandon the game". His team is down 2-0. Once he's gone, his team starts playing, crowd calms down, kids get under control and they come back and it's 2-2 end of regulation. Overtime doesn't see a winner. KFTM. White team loses 4-2 on kicks. Other than the coach, it was a nice game.

Did 2 U18 middles in a tournament on Sunday in a competitive tourney. The first was non-event worthy but a nice smooth game and 5-6 sets of parents from both teams tell me that is was the best officiated match they've seen in a while and they like games like that. From both teams. I was pretty shocked.

The 2nd U18 middle was the most fun I've had in a long time. White travel team from 3 hours away vs local blue team. Both are middle D1 teams. Pretty good play. White goes down 3-0 and are about to give up and several of them are saying WTH, why are we even playing this and are ready to just drive back home at half time. 1 YC that was more for protecting my AR than anything in the first half. 2nd half starts and white grabs a goal 2 mins in (it was a beauty too). 5 mins later and I call a PK for white. First attempt is saved and comes right back out and then the guy finishes it. 3-2. Game gets a little heated. Two hispanic players (one from each team) start jabbing at each other with words as they are running up the field. I hear some "colorful" words in spanish and loudly proclaim - "hey, I may not speak spanish, but I know enough to know that you two aren't that's not nice. cut it out". Laughs all around and the mood lightens. White goes ahead 4-3 on a couple of breakaways and I call a pretty soft penalty for Blue if I must be honest. They convert. 4-4 with less than 5 to go. I get a sense of wow, what a game - only justified that it ends tied. White scores two very quick goals with three to play and win 6-4.

Hand shakes all around and everyone leaves happy. I was even going to not count the 1 card I gave until I get a game sheet already completed from the team's manager where the card was given. Very good weekend all around.

Nice stories. But for heaven's sake, don't be "last week's ref" and "not count" cards -- if you don't think it should "count," don't give it in the first place. If otherwise competent refs play the game of not turning in cards, no wonder coaches come and ask that question.

Last game of the tourney, and meaningless to boot. I'll probably never see that kid again and it won't change his behavior, but I know why to keep the card and turn it in. In hind-sight I'm glad it got recorded.

We are going in the wrong direction here kids. Report the score. Report the cards. This is what you are being paid to do. Let others (not you) worry about standings and league punishments.

S T O P. . . . . T H I S.

Or stubbornness... ...just saying.