NOT BLOODY LIKELY
Week 6 in MLS started off a bit early for me, couldn't get around to the Wednesday & Friday matches, lots of travel and the Oklahoma Highway Patrol frowns upon me blogging & driving on the turnpike. We won’t pretend that I would have correctly picked the score of the Vancouver/Columbus or Colorado/Dallas games. Vancouver/Columbus wouldn't have been a bad pick for a draw but who saw Dallas being on the business end of the season’s first Blow Out Comb and it would have been Colorado & the Mustaches del Pablo delivering it? Not me. Though one has to wonder how much of it was a combination of Pablo being in the box above or Pareja’s team looking past Colorado. Either way, an embarrassing loss.
I’m trying to find a positive in this gray and rainy Saturday. The Chicago (Dumpster) Fire is idle this weekend, which means they can’t win, but on the bright side, they can’t draw or lose either. So, there is a silver lining. Now, on to the meat of this weekend’s matches.
No real feeling for this game that New England should win after starting to find their game over the last three games. Columbus has scored a few of late, and gave up a few as well. Entertainment value should be enough out of New England to make it worth the watch. Revolution 2 | 1 Columbus
Greg Cohen checks in with what should become an organic and unforced rivalry in MLS between Philly & NYCFC. Sadly for DOOPFAN, the Union have lost almost as many games as City have played and with both teams at what should be full strength, expect NYCFC to push the Union defense to the brink and break through at least twice. Entertainment Value: High with Villa toying with a defense that Chicago made look bad. Union 1 | 4 NYCFC
Two teams that have found their form, though with the late wins by DC, the question is how much of those 6 points is due to their perseverance and how much is due to their opponents ability to meltdown. These teams, regardless of the current rosters, don’t like each other and the entertainment value of those matches is always high, regardless of the score or the lack of scoring. Bill Hamid has been playing too well for too long and Bradley Wright-Phillips should bring him back to earth. DC 1 | 3 Red Bulls
If there is a match to miss today, it’s Montreal v. Houston. Montreal may be storming their way to the CONCACAF Champions League Final, but they have been pedestrian at best in league play. Houston, hasn’t been any better. Entertainment value: Nil – Houston Nil | Nil Montreal – My attention span: Nil
The exact opposite of the Houston | Montreal match – SKC & RSL – as both have found winning form on their last two matches. There will be plenty of saves, plenty of break aways & plenty of near & wide/high misses, but should be tons of open plan and watchable soccer, even if there is a draw. RSL should be able to find the winner with the Rimando’s goalkeeping keeping Sporting out of the net just enough to get the win. Sporting 2 | 3 Real Salt lake
San Jose are a decidedly average team, but they have Chris Wondolowski, who can and will score goals. Vancouver are a fast team that will waste a dozen or more chances but will get two or three goals on any defense that isn’t fast. Entertainment value: Above average if Vancouver and/or Wondo have any say in the matter. San Jose 2 | 2 Vancouver.
4/12/15 – Portland Timbers vs. Orlando City SC – 5:00 PM ET – ESPN2
Speed and tenacity are the weapons Portland will have on display versus Orlando’s skill and defense that has been solid up until stoppage time of their last two losses. Brawler vs. Boxer and the boxer usually wins these either straight up or on decision, but there are no decisions, only draws. And while this should be an entertaining match, you will have to wait on the goals and they will only come via either quick moments of brilliance or punished mistakes. Portland 1 | 2 Orlando City
4/12/15 – LA Galaxy vs. Seattle Sounders – 7:00 PM ET – Fox Sports 1
Los Angeles are missing Landon Donovan probably a bit more than they thought they would, as it wasn’t just his brilliance, but he made everyone better and kept pressure off of their suspect defense. Without that constant threat, LA haven’t performed like reigning champions, and Steven Gerrard isn’t likely to help with that. Oba & Clint should have a field day with LA in LA’s house. LA 1 | 3 Seattle
As always, should you find your life running low on snark and schadenfreude, join us down in the Week 6 MLS PBP Thread on BigSoccer and cope with your own misery by enjoying the misery of others.