Mexico Completes CONCACAF Coup

In the fullness of time all things become clear.

What started out a few years back as your basic garden variety FIFA tale of greed, avarice and lust has finally been revealed for what it truly was:

A longstanding Mexican plot to take control of CONCACAF.

Years ago, during the waning weeks of the Nixon administration, when cabinet members and other high ranking federal officials were dropping like flies, someone published a theory that the whole Watergate deal was in fact a ruthlessly clever plot to take over the country by the Secretary of Transportation, a guy named Raymond something who, by virtue of his office, something like 13th in line for the Presidency.

So without further ado, allow meto introduce you to the new President of CONCACAF, Justino Compean of Mexico.

In case you're getting the news a bit late today, FIFA's Executive Committee, which began assembling yesterday in Zurich to examine and vote on the latest batch of ludicrous, meaningless "reforms" designed to shut the sponsors and media up so that everyone can get back to stealing money, was the target of another late night raid by the Swiss police.

All the details are not yet known, except that a) the raids were at the behest of US Attorney General Loretta Lynch b) they were executed at the same hotel where the last batch of crooks were rounded up at the last ExCo meeting and c) among those sitting in Swiss jail cells as we speak is Alfredo Hawitt, acting President of CONCACAF.

You'll recall that Hawitt was never actually elected, but assumed the job when his predecessor found himself in a similar position. Maybe even the same cell.

So as they say in sports, "next man up" and in this case that "next man" is former FMF President and current senior CONCACAF ExCo Vice President Justino Compean.

There's no word on the current status of former longtime Chuck Blazer assistant Ted Howard, who has been serving as General Secretary ever since Traffic Sports and NASL President Enrique Sanz, who succeeded Blazer, ended up - well, in jail. With everybody else.

You may recall that CONCACAF was run by a Mexican named Joaquín Soria Terrazas for over 20 years until Jack Warner - whose lawyers convinced a Trinidad judge yesterday to push his extradition appeal into February - and Blazer blindsided everyone by literally walking into the 1990 CONCACAF Congress and announcing that Warner intended to stand for the Presidency.

(As bad as things have occasionally looked for El Tri, this was the most tragic of eras for them as what might have been their best team ever was banned from the 1990 World Cup which didn't prevent Mexican referee Edgardo Codesal from becoming Argentina's Public Enemy #1 for his butchery of the final which featured, among several other controversies, a ludicrous red card shown to an Argentine after a blatant Juergen Klinnsman dive.)

So the Caribbean took over the confederation and Warner began his 20 year kleptocracy, to be succeeded by the somewhat briefer kleptocracy of Jeffrey Webb.

Hawitt has apparently been charged with pretty much the same stuff as Webb, ie. taking million dollar bribes in return for TV rights.

Sadly for the world famous Baur au Lac hotel, being the go-to spot for FIFA arrestees has caused at least one traveler to leave the place a one star Trip Adviser rating:



Presumably Sunil Gulati was sleeping like a baby during the pre dawn raid which nabbed Hawitt and CONMEBOL President Juan Angel Napout. As for Compean, like any good conspiracy maestro, was back home in Mexico. Whether he was following events from a secret underground bunker is currently unknown.

One thing we all do need to hope for is that Compean manages to hold onto the office for a while, since at this point "the next man up" is the utterly corrupt Jamaican "Captain" Horace Burrell.