Senselessly Piling On

Yes, it's absolutely true that I would like nothing better than to pound out a few paras on the ugly incident in Houston in the wee hours of Monday morning. I mean, how cheap and tawdry would it be of me to comment on the fact that three Toronto FC players - Miguel Aceval, Luis Silva and Nick Soolsma - found themselves in a 2:45 AM street fight outside the prosaically named "Club Escobar".

(Note to Paul Mariner: many teams have been known to institute something called a "curfew". Might need to look into that)

Or that Aceval - described by police as "highly intoxicated" and "belligerent" - was being arrested when Silva "tried to get involved", ended up cursing at the cops and then running away when he was told he was under arrest.

Somewhat embarrassingly, he only made it about a block before the donut squad caught up with him, wrestled him to the ground and slapped on the handcuffs.

(Note to Paul Mariner: Really? Caught from behind by a redneck carrying 30 pounds of equipment? If your midfielders can't outrun Buford T. Justice maybe you need new ones. Just a thought.)

All three were eventually arrested for public intoxication, processed, booked and slapped in a cell. Fortunately, someone was able to reach Julian de Guzman - as a DP he's the guy most likely to have some cash around - who came down and bailed them out.

(Note to MLS: Edson Buddle got pulled over for Driving While Black one time with a couple of beers under his belt and ended up doing six months of league-mandated rehab. So what do these guys get? Five years in lockdown at Betty Ford?)

Oh sure, I could easily post the mug shots which are now up on the net but would that be fair? I mean, let's be honest: nobody looks their best at 5 AM after a long night of drinking, chasing skanks ("That's right, baby, I'm a professional soccer player. Wanna see my balls? HAHAHAHAHA") and getting slapped around by the cops.

It just wouldn't be fair, and I won't do it.

Kicking guys - or an entire 1-10 MLS team - when they're down just isn't right.

For the same reason, I am not going to be writing about something I've noticed over the last couple of weeks which keeps reminding me of some comments I read someplace; can't recall who it was exactly who said them but they went something like this:

“It’s fine if you’re a female and you want to be a super-fan. Clearly go for it, that’s your choice. But there is something to be said for how appealing that might be to the other sex. Having a woman that’s such a fan, like painting your face....I don’t know how many males would be into that.

“It’s great that...there are a lot of women in the stands, it’s great, but for the guy who wants maybe a serious relationship...if you’re such a die-hard, I don’t know, it comes a point that it is a bit of a turn-off…”

I see what he means.

Total turnoff.