"Let me start by telling you about the gift you all received yesterday..." There have long been rumors floating around about a video of former CONCACAF President Jack Warner addressing the CFU delegates on the day after his employees handed out $40,000 "gifts" to one and all.
A lot of people didn't believe it; who could possibly be that stupid?
But apparently the real question is: "Who could be that arrogant?" and we all know the answer to that one:
The Telegraph (UK) has obtained a copy of this key piece of evidence which is featured viewing - no word on whether they're selling Sno-Caps or Mike & Ikes in the lobby - in Zurich this week as the Ethics Committee considers the cases of the 15 remaining CFU members who claim they don't know a thing about any money.
My favorite part is just after 5:00 when Franka Pickering of the British Virgin Islands grins and raises her hand when Warner is mentioning delegates who will be glad to take the money off their hands.
Pickering, one of the people whose case is on the table this week, has staunchly denied knowing anything at all about any cash distributions.
Warner is clearly dealing with some backlash here and he's upset. He makes reference to "people running to New York and telling everything", so he's apparently aware that Sealey and Mussenden have already called Blazer.
Whether he knows at this point that Blazer has followed the rules and passed the report to Zurich yet or not, he's clearly concerned and tells everyone that "our business is our business", sort of like "What happens in Port of Spain stays in Port of Spain":
"Don't go and talk about our business outside and believe that you're pious, and holy, and better than anybody else".
Some other highlights:
"When Mohamed Bin Hammam asked to come to the Caribbean he wanted to bring some silver plaques and wooden trophies and bunting and so on, and told me to bring for 30 people would be too much luggage. I told him he did not need to bring anything but if he wanted to bring anything to bring something equivalent to the value of the gift that he brought."
Silver plaques? Wooden trophies? BUNTING?
"I said to him if you bring cash, I don't want you to give cash to anybody, but when you do you can give it to the CFU and the CFU will give it to his members"
So Jack tells him to bring money instead of bunting and trophies, then says he doesn't want him to actually hand it out, he'll do it himself.
Remember how Jack says he's innocent, they have no evidence against him and someday he will return and retake rightful place in FIFA?
"I know there are some people here who believe they are more pious than thou. If you are pious go to a church friends, but the fact is that our business is our business. If there is anybody here who has a conscience and wishes to send back the money I am willing to take the money and give it back to him at any moment."
When he's done incriminating himself and everyone else whose face is clearly visible who has been claiming he wasn't even there - and bear in mind that it is a clear violation of FIFA's Ethics Rules to be aware of this kind of thing and not report it, meaning that just having your face on that video is prima facie evidence of a violation unless you immediately reported it to Blazer - he then goes into a really remarkable attack on Michael Platini and France:
"We have to ensure Platini is not some automatic inheritor of FIFA. Because I tell you if that happens FIFA will become a French province. Forever. The fact is that Platini is being groomed to succeed Mr Blatter and we don't know if it is in our best interests to have a French president, a French general secretary....but in any event I don't think it's in our best interests to do that."
Just after 9 minutes, you can see alleged human being Patrick John, the man who tried to turn his country over to the mafia and the KKK, ask whether Warner himself would consider running for President of FIFA in four years. The young man standing behind John is Daryan Warner.
All of the 15
dead ducks CFU attendees whose case is being decided this week were invited to come to Zurich and be heard in person at FIFA's expense. Most have declined - I'm guessing that Pickering, for example, really doesn't want to have Judge Damaseb read her denial statement back to her - but alternatively can testify by telephone if they prefer.
Decisions will be announced on Friday.
In related news, Sunil Gulati said on Tuesday that the CONCACAF Executive Committee would like to go ahead and give the CFU the FIFA ExCo seat it is rightfully entitled to but they can't until the Lisle Austin lawsuit is resolved.
Whether this is actually the issue or whether they're mostly trying to get the CFU to lean on Austin and force him to abandon the suit is anybody's guess, but the Caribbean is currently without a representative on world football's most important body.
And with a crucial FIFA Executive Committee meeting coming up in a week or so, it's a good time to see if they can use that as leverage to get Austin to stand down so they can book a suite in Zug for Horace Burrell. The suit itself is mostly a legal nuisance - in theory the Bahamian Rent-a-Judge could make a bunch of trouble if he wanted - but it's a complication nonetheless.
In any case, Austin can't go back to the court without having FIFA hit him for it again, only worse. It would seem much better for him to drop the whole thing, but he has yet to do a damned thing which makes any sense, so why start now?