In response to the FIFA Ethics Committee ruling that banned him from international football for a period of one year, former CONCACAF President-for-a-Day Lisle Austin of Barbados was apparently concerned that he still had not yet convinced enough people that he's completely insane, so he issued a statement which is so full of bluster, bullshit and utter nonsense that it begs for a formal Fisking:
FIFA's desperate attempt to suspend me...
No, see, it's not a "desperate attempt to suspend you"; they were, in fact, entirely successful at suspending you.
... through its kangaroo court...
No fair stealing Bin Hammams' material.
In any case, there is a real shortage of marsupials on the Ethics Committee. Just a group of men whose personal and professional reputations are universally considered impeccable.
If you think otherwise, grow a pair and start naming names; tell us that Justice Damaseb is Sepp Blatters' butt boy, or that Robert Torres, who is the Chief Justice of his countrys' Supreme Court is on the take or...well, you get the idea.
Put up or shut up.
.... affirms that it believes my rights to judicial due process are inferior to its interests of sweeping under the rug any attempt to bring transparency to the football world....
The Committee invited you to appear, bringing along all the lawyers you cared to - Bin Hammam sent five to his hearing - and you had every opportunity to make whatever case you wanted.
The problem, Lisle, isn't that you didn't get to present your case; rather, it's that you HAVE no case:
1) FIFA rules say that you will be suspended if you take a Federation dispute to an "ordinary court".
2) You took your Federation dispute to an "ordinary court".
3) You were suspended.
It's not at all complicated and has nothing to do with this ludicrous "transparency" bullshit which, I would just note in passing, you somehow never mentioned at any time during your 25 years of service as Jack Warners' toadie-in-chief.
FIFA's present leadership has once again shown that it is a corrupt cabal of arrogance and cronyism,
So tell me, Lisle; who did the Barbados Federation vote for on June 3?
administered by individuals who continue to act outside the rule of law,
Jack Warner, Jack Warner, Jack Warner
seeking to destroy anyone who dares to question the existing regime.
When is it exactly that you "questioned the existing regime"? All you did was try to fire a CONCACAF employess despite not having the authority to do so and when your ExCo said that you couldn't you went scurrying to the nearest judge sitting on a street corner with a "Will Adjudicate for Cash" sign around his neck..
The hearing was yet another attempt to marginalize and silence calls for reform and transparency in FIFA's lucrative dominance over the game of football.
"Reform and transparency" "Reform and transparency" Awwwk! Polly want a cracker!
Fact is, you yourself have been sucking madly at the FIFA teat for decades. When you send FIFA and CONCACAF a check repaying all the money you've pocketed from football over the last couple of decades maybe someone will take you seriously.
I call on those who have already raised their honest voices
You mean, like Chuck Blazer? Justice Damaseb? Anton Sealey? Fred Lunn? Robert Torres?
– and those who have watched silently in fear
You mean all those CFU feds who, for years and years, quaked with terror whenever you or Jack called them up and demanded something?
-- to stand with me and demand accountability and good governance of world football, and an end to the dishonestly and greed that threatens to destroy the game we so love.
Says Jack Warners' Number Two man.
I will continue my action in the Bahamian court.
Dear Sweet Lord, let this be true. That way we'll never have to worry about you being in charge of anything football related ever again.
I must fight for what is right and have no doubt that ultimately fairness and truth will prevail.
I know that football fans everywhere share your hope that "fairness and truth will prevail" because that will mean that dirtbags like you will have been banished forever.