That's the only word that comes to mind when we hear the news that The Qatari Whistleblower now says that she made it all up.
Issa Hayatou, Jacques Anouma and Amos Adamu weren't really paid $1.5 million to vote for Qatar. They did it because they love sand.
Disgusting Argentine greedbag and anti Semite Julio Grondona didn't actually get the money to pay off the AFAs' debts.
After eight months of jetting around the globe begging reporters to look at her evidence and listen to her story, even going so far as to appear before the British Parliament to relate her tale of bribery at the highest levels of FIFA, the now-notorious "Whistleblower" - who has now been revealed to be a Qatari woman named Phaedra Al Majid - says, in the word of Emily Litella:
She now says that she "lied about all facts concerning the behaviour and practice of the Qatar 2022 Bid."
"Never, at any time, were any bribes even offered, suggested or paid on behalf of the Qatar 2022 Bid during any time in exchange for votes from Issa Hayatou, Jacques Anouma, and Amos Adamu.
"These allegations were in full a fabrication on my behalf.
"In addition, a research paper entitled: Argentinian Football Crisis which I released to the media had been altered, by myself, to sensationalize the effect."
On the other hand, it's not really her fault. See, all she wanted to do was make a little trouble because she was pissed off about being fired.
Do you want to make a guess as to whose fault all of this really is?
"I believe that the media did in fact know that I was lying and that certain facts, up to now, have been omitted, downplayed, glossed over and/or mis-characterized in an effort to maximize institutional embarrassment to both the Qatar 2022 Bid Committee and members of FIFA's Executive Committee and/or perhaps even for improper political reasons."
Get that? Not only was she lying but the media KNEW she was lying and published her claims anyway, so really it's their fault. She doesn't get around to spelling out just exactly what these "facts" that were omitted and dsiptorted actually were, but no matter.
Al Majid spent most of Sunday doing interviews with European media outlets while sitting in the offices of the Qatari World Cup and under the watchful eye of Qatari media reps and in the presence of bid chairman Hassan Al-Thawadi. She called the Guardian. She called the Beeb. She called SkySports. She punched phone buttons until her fingers bled.
IIn fact, she feels so bad about all of this that she went ahead and LAUNCHED HER OWN WEBSITE entitled, appropriately, "Qatarwhistleblower".
Then she went ahead and opened a Twitter account, which consists of JUST ONE TWEET so that she could apologize some more.
The marvelous thing about it is that this woman is so highly skilled that her statement almost reads like it was professionally done by a team of PR people and lawyers. What a talent.
She feels very bad. She never meant for all of this to happen. She has "no doubt that the country will stage an outstanding, ground-breaking and highly successful World Cup."
Oh and one more thing:
She wants to make sure that you know that she decided to admit to all these lies entirely of her own volition, adding:
"I have not been subject to any form of pressure or been offered any financial inducement".
Why of course not. Whatever would make you think otherwise?