Party like it's 1991

So who's excited about the Women's World Cup!

*crickets*

Aw, come on. It's got action and rivalries and disappointments and thrills! What do you say - Women's World Cup, everybody!

*tumbleweeds*

*wolf howling in the distance*

Look, people. The US needs your support, and so when this tournament starts, I expect you all to be....

...a week ago? What the hell do you mean, a week ago? That would mean the entire first stage is almost...

...oh, my heavens. How are we doing?

"At least we're not Canada"? That doesn't tell me anything. That could be men, women, youth, MLS teams, hockey riots - be more specific.

Okay, I admit it, I've been watching. And probably so have you, if only to see Equatorial Guinea's comic relief.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HljRPmyjJXo"]YouTube - ‪Best hand ball ever, uncalled penalty (Australia v Equatorial Guinea)!‬‏[/ame]

I was going to say that as the women's game grows in popularity (internationally, that is - in America, the women's publicity has stalled quite badly), the skill and intensity will increase, and the game will improve across the board...and last to improve will be refereeing, for the same reasons that refereeing is the last to improve in the men's game.

Then you see something like this, and you realize there's no other explanation except Devo was right, entropy cancels out evolution and "Idiocracy" was a documentary of the future.

We interrupt this program for a Muppet News Flash!

Whyever the ******** not, I wonder?

And then there's Marta. I apologize for the execrable quality, but you get the gist of Marta's foul on the first goal - plus, it's the only clip I've seen that shows the entire sequence was set up by a horrible foul in the Brazilian defense.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZuBTAmYl08"]YouTube - ‪Brazil vs Norway 3-0 All Goals (Womens World Cup 2011)‬‏[/ame]

Wow, that looks like it was shot by a cellphone pointed at a standard def monitor, what kind of half-assed organization puts out such low quality work - oh, but of course.

Brazil didn't need to cheat to win, but why take any chances? Weirdly, this means that the women of Brazil have achieved something in soccer the men never have - a victory over Norway.

And the US? Well, we've been playing the sort of teams that traditionally have featured in the background of Mia Hamm posters. The good news is that the US has had five different goalscorers - which is a polite way of saying Abby Wambach and Amy Surplus - sorry, Amy Rodriguez - have not lived up to expectations. At least Wambach got a pretty assist against North Korea.

I think the US are serious, serious underdogs against either Brazil or Germany (or both, since it looks like beating both will be required to win the tournament) - and I'm only partially saying that based on a commercial where Hope Solo says she plays her best when people don't believe in her.

Hey, it's better to look good than look crappy, and Heather O'Reilly's goal would have been amazing against any opponent. I assume you've seen it.

The US still doesn't have a great chance, but at least they don't look like the scrubs that jobbed to Mexico and squeaked by Italy to be the last team to qualify. Not everything about the Women's World Cup is devolving, thankfully.

....by the way, how weird was it to see Kristine Lilly in the stands? It only just hit me when they showed her that this was the first Women's World Cup without Lilly on the roster...ever.

....by the way, has someone taken Megan Rapinoe aside and told her what "Born in the USA" is actually about?

....by the way, nice singing voice, Megan. You should get a day job, then not quit it.