Austin Heading to New York "To Assume My Duties"

Bahamian Supreme Court Justice Steven Isaacs, described by some as "controversial" and by others as "a bribe taking fool" has ruled that CONCACAF collectively and Alfredo Hawit, Justino Campeon, Sunil Gulati and Ariel Alvarado individually, are in contempt of court by denying Lisle "Respect My Authority" Austin control over the Confederation.

As a result of CONCACAF's "disobedience" of the terms of Isaac's previous order,
dated 10 June, 2011, Austin says Isaacs has turned the legal reins of the organization over to him and that he "will begin to assume my responsibilities at CONCACAF's offices in New York at a specified time in the very near future".

"The organization cannot interfere with my ability to perform my duties as Acting President. It is my intention to lead CONCACAF into an era of transparency, accountability and reform" he said.

I swear to God, Chuck Blazer needs to hire a film crew so that we can all share in the frivolity. It just wouldn't be fair of him to keep it to himself.

Furthermore, if anyone tries to stop him from taking over the offices in New York's Trump Tower, he says he will - wait for it - "consider further legal action".

Most likely a ruling from his new pet judge ordering that Austin be made King of France.

Austin says he needs access to CONCACAF financial records so that he can conduct a "forensic accounting review" of all of CONCACAF's financial operations for the past five years.

He says he will consider "more legal action" (OH NOES!) if anyone opposes him.

"There are indications of questionable financial activities and CONCACAF - and association football - cannot advance until a full and transparent examination of the organization is complete," he said.

(In case you were wondering, this is a red herring he has been tossing out since Day 1 in order to make it appear that he's on a crusade for truth and justice. It's just noise.)

"I plan on engaging with all CONCACAF stakeholders, including our corporate sponsors, to join me in this process. If groups or individuals choose to stand in the way, I will again be forced to take matters to the courts."

What Austin doesn't say is what he thinks it is about THIS particular order that makes it different from the LAST order - from the same crooked judge - that's suddenly going to send Blazer running out into the streets.

Furthermore, it's unclear where Austin would get the authority - were he actually made President of CONCACAF, which he never, ever will be - to do a damned thing.

The confederation statues are clear: the Executive Committee runs the organization. The President has virtually no specific authority aside from chairing meetings.

And this leaves aside the fact that, due to his being under suspension and investigation by FIFA he's not even allowed to set foot in the CONCACAF offices, Austins' personal opinion that CONCACAF is not a part of FIFA notwithstanding.

Perhaps the biggest mystery of all is how a man who is already the subject of a FIFA Disciplinary Committee proceeding due to having referred his complaints to an "ordinary court" thinks he can trump that process by going back to the same court.

It's really breathtaking.

Austin keeps quoting the line from the statutes which says that the President "has the legal and extralegal representation of CONCACAF" which he interprets to mean that he's in charge of everything.

In fact, that line seems to refer to having power of attorney at unspecified times but most certainly does not vacate all the other parts which specify that the Ex-Co is the ultimate deciding entity.

Either way, Austin has clearly lost touch with reality if he truly thinks this new ruling changes anything.

I'm hoping to be able to find out when Austin intends to show up in New York so that I can be there in person when the police toss him out of the building.

I can't wait.