Thierry Henry: Best Player in MLS

Argue all you want, oh ye denizens of the message boards, but it's now a matter of statistical provability.

Consider Cohiba Don:

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(Looking pretty relaxed these days, isn't he? That big fat raise they just gave him has certainly lifted his spirits.Or maybe it's the free tequila.)

Today MLS released it's first-ever Castrol Index (now go buy some oil or industrial lubricants) and New York RedBulls French guy Thierry Henry heads the list for April.

Politely unmentioned in the hoopla, flimmery and excitement is the fact that players #2 and #3 have been rendered hors de combat due to MLS' ongoing thuggery problems:

1 THIERRY HENRY
2 STEVE ZAKUANI
3 DAVID FERREIRA
4 OMAR GONZALEZ
5 ATIBA HARRIS
6 DANNY CALIFF
7 DONOVAN RICKETTS
8 GEORGE JOHN
9 BOBBY BOSWELL
10 DIEGO CHAVES

As previously noted, Commissioner Garber has had quite literally no public statement on the leagues' injury crisis, but I guess he and Sunil Gulati are hiding out in the same cheap motel in the midwest someplace with the curtains pulled, ordering in Thai food and arguing over who gets the remote while praying that people will stop expecting them to, like, be leaders and stuff so they can get back to having lunch at the Plaza with prospective corporate sponsors, supermodels and Chuck Blazer.

(Although I'm guessing that Supermodels are a lot easier on the old American Express Card than Chuck is, but then it's not coming out of their pocket so who cares?)

Not that any of Americas' Top Notch Soccer Professional Soccer Journos would ever be rude enough to ask actual questions that might prove embarassing.

Anyway, the entire Castrol Index rankings are HERE and apparently Adin Brown needs to be polishing up his resume.